well since i last wrote in here seems like everything has changed. and by change I mean for the good. Zach has doe a complete 180!! He is so involved in Alexina's life. And he wants to be there for her for good.. I am super excited but nervous at the same time.I love the fact that he wants to be in her life. Watching them interact together just ( Read more... )

Tonight I watched what a girl wants.. It's basically about a girl who wants to know who her father is. So we goes out and finds him and tries to build a relationship... Didn't work out cause she had to change into some one she isn't... But movie short he just wanted to know her father... And have a relationship with him.. I can see that happening ( Read more... )

My birthday is coming up in he next few days and my mom freakin gave me a fucking curfew..... This is bullshit.... I'm fucking pissed.... But I guess that's what you get for being a single parent and living with a parent.... It fucking sucks... And it's fucking bullshit....... Ugh...... Eeeerrrrrre hat the fuck ever.......

From time to time I get frustrated with my little one!! Ts to be expected! They can't talk to tell you what they want. And plus i have her 24/7.. I have help from my mom but its not enough!! So from getting frustrated today I cried!! I got mad. Upset.. Angry at him.. Angry cause he chose to be a coward and not want to be there for his daughter!!! I ( Read more... )

So I finally got an answer from zach.. He does not want anything to do with her, or me or even signing his rights over to me.. I don't care that he don't want anything to do with me but for him not want to be there for her it pisses me off and makes me really sad... I wish that he would step up and be there for his daughter... Take part in what he ( Read more... )

I can't describe this feeling I have.. I am happy but empty!! I'm sad but content!! I feel lost but found!! I feel trapped but free!! I feel depressed but fine! Ever since I told zach about him being dad I have this weird feeling anxious feeling that I can't seem to shake... I just don't know what to do.. I havent even told my sister or my mom.. I ( Read more... )

Yesterday was hard.. I finally told the father of my baby about her. I couldn't get ahold of him at all.. He was ignoring my text messages. Tiffany and I went to his work. He was apologetic to me. He said he can't do it. He said He is irresponsible. He said he just can't be there. I told him that I have a form her can fill out to be proven that he ( Read more... )

Yeah so things are going ok for me! On sunday morning or saturday night when I was sleeping I had the most weirdest dream... I dreamt that I was at Adam's house... Why?? I DO NOT KNOW!!!! But I was there and his parents just allowed me to come in and I was in the den.... And for some reason I was using the washer and dryer... And then I heard Adam' ( Read more... )

Why do I keep making myself think about him???? Why do I break down crying when I look at his picture???? Why do I care so much about him??? Why do I miss him so much??? Why??? Why???? WHY???????? Grrr I hate myself... I have someone wonderful and all I can think about is this guy who treated me like shit..... Why do I still love him??? Why do I ( Read more... )

California has bveen beautiful... I got burnt yeasterday.. Today i didnt... We were in the car most of the day... Just like its going to be tomorrow too... Im not looking forward to the drive tomorrow.... 15 to 16 hour drive... But it will be nice to getting back home... My mom is getting a lil annoying to me but oh well most parents doo..... But ( Read more... )