-
Almost 38
Everything feels hopeless, I'm in a no win situation, there's no solutions. So I just exist, I keep going through the motions. Most of the time I'm not even depressed, I just live my solitary life, distracting myself with my new cat Poppy, tiktok, podcasts, and taking any time I can get with ma'am, usually a couple hours a week. That's my entire ( Read more... ) -
12 Years Later
I honestly really never expected that I would still be alive at 37. And as hard as things are right now, it's different. I don't want to die, I haven't wanted to in ages. I want to live so badly, and thats what fucking hurts. Living hurts. Surviving day to day, with barely any hope for my future, struggling so much financially that I feel like it's ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Every now and then I remember my old job.
It hurts.
I remember how long I was there, the comfort I took in routines and familiar faces.
And oh it hurts.
I remember how it felt to have keys to the store, to be trusted, to be reliable and knowledgable. To help customers, to satisfy them. To teach them and assist them.
I miss typing in my password, ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I haven't been here in ages, to the livejournal website even ( Read more... ) -
So..
Let's see ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I'm angry that this place has been ruined for me ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
We are always able to come to some sort of common ground, an agreement. We discuss, argue our points, maybe even raise our voices to express one another. We agree, disagree, admit to fault. We tell eachother to hang on and not interrupt as we make ourselves clear, and on the end after voicing our thoughts and listening we will come to a conclusion.
( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
9:19 am Friday April 3rd
Avery asked me this morning "why can't you be like other moms?" because I don't make her mr.noodles for lunch. But the question really fucking hurt, and even though i am taking it out of context I just felt awful. It's not about the lunch for me (even though to further prove I am weak and insecure I made the damn noodles for ( Read more... ) -
An end of an email to Patrick
"Avery says she loves her Doody, and sends you love and hugs. And I am off to take the garbage/recycling out and climb into bed with the snore-monster ( Read more... )
