So I actually hate writing in this but when I'm really pensive or bored as I am both now I tend to be drawn to it. I want to know why we do the things we do. What makes me like red more than green? What makes me feel attracted to someone unattractive but feel nothing for a complete hunk? I have so many questions and absolutely no answers. I guess I ( Read more... )

Instead of feeling anger as she should of, she felt defeated. Instead of closure, she felt an open wound ripping at her soul. Instead of happiness, she found only misery and instead of light, she saw only darkness ( Read more... )

Today I sit in a hospital waiting room with the knowledge that my mother is in another room being sliced and diced into a healthier version. I can't stand this anxiety and I just with they could make my mother feel better already and stop this horrible torment she suffers daily. Grr I'm so frustrated. At least i have the rest of my family here with ( Read more... )

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i am pretty sure that not many people read this so i feel ok documenting my feelings. i am extremely depressed and upset because i let something from my past come back and hurt me. i know that emotionally speaking i'm not very strong but i feel so defeated and weak because i let this get to me. i wish i could have pushed it it to the back of my ( Read more... )

It is now 2:30 in the morning and i am still up doing homework for the worst day of my week...fridays. i hate them only cause they are so busy and cause they start so early and end so late. college is great except for the weird schedule and the weird roomate. she is really hott though and good in bed...anyway. i miss everyone so much and i know ( Read more... )

I haven't updated since December 20th...i am so bad at these things. here it is i am totally psyched about graduation but i am also really super depressed for some reason...maybe i'm just tired. the even weirder thing is that now that it is over i feel nothing. at first i was totally excited now i'm just blah. o well. my family came inot town and i ( Read more... )

I haven't written in forever but me and Dustin were sitting at VI and he was online looking at livejournals and i was like maybe i should update. btw dustin is so awesome no wonder i married him!!! i was such a fool to divorce him. o well. right now me and ashlee are fighting and i just really don't care. so i'm not her friend right now and that is ( Read more... )

i know i haven't updated in a while but i'm not very good at this sorta stuff. o well. i just wanted to wish everyone a very happyn holidays. i love christmas its my favorite holiday. its the only holiday that has stopped a war for a whole day. think about that. wow! i wish more people could be as excited as me. Merry merry christmas everyone. btw ( Read more... )

every single morning this week the song break away by kelly clarkson is on to wake me up. i never really listened to the song until driving home from school today. i surprises me how happy i can feel and then one thing can remind me of some awful turmoil within me. i just can't seem to let go of things that hurt me. i know that they should be in ( Read more... )