no more pretending

[jessicastarr]

lately i've been feeling pretty frustrated with myself, its just that for a while now i've been praying and asking God what he wants me to do with my life. I want him to show me, i want some kind of guidance. to tell ya the truth i've never really been close to God ...i mean really close. i've never been just happy with life and knowing him and

Comments

[lost_lostboy]

Not perfect, huh? When was perfection ever a pre-requisite for being used by God? I love you, baby. You're perfect to me.

[jessicastarr]

love you <3

[fenixt]

hey, ever read or heard of the book 'the purpose driven life' by rick warren? the church i've been going to did a church wide campaign for it. it's broken up into 6 sections...'what on earth am i here for?'..'you were planned for God's pleasure'...'you were formed for God's family'...'you were created to become like christ'...'you were shaped for serving God'...'you were made for a mission'. within those sections there are topics such as 'you are not an accident' 'seeing life from God's view' 'the reason for everything' 'when God seems distant' 'the heart of worship' 'what matters most' 'a place to belong' and several more. the book is divided up so that you read it in 40 days. each of those topics (and many more) make up those 6 sections. it's a book that i started that i still need to finish myself. i've been in and out as well

[jessicastarr]

thanks. i think i'll check that book out.

[themeofmyheart]

hey this is kind of odd.. i was looking at the community r_u_a_pinup and i saw those adorable baseball pictures you posted and i clicked on your name. and then i read this post. and i think you are the first 'christian' i have randomly found on livejournal, and what i mean is someone who loves the Lord and wants to seek after him. i kinda understand about looking for others' approval rather than God's. I just went through 8 months of a decipleship program that focuses on growing intimate with Lord and a result of that was seeing a lot of who i was and who i am becoming. its not easy to let those things go, you've just gotta do it, you know? I am by no means perfect or completely different than i was, yet i am still changed because i'm open to what God has for me. Idk, this might not make sense at all and if thats the case then i'm sorry. but if you ever want to talk or anything that would be really cool : )

[jessicastarr]

wow this is a pleasant surprise. do those discipleship programs really work...well i guess work isnt the right word but i mean.. did you learn alot?

[themeofmyheart]

well it depends. some people aren't willing to change, you get what you put into it. i needed God, desperately, and it wasn't the program but my relationship with God. but the program helped by giving my structure, taking me out my element, and God using people to show me things, to love me. it was a very rediculously hard/emotional year but at the same time it has been the best year of my life and i have memories and friends that i will remember forever.

[jessicastarr]

thats awesome