I wish I didn't remember my dreams.  Lately, they only make me homesick for places I may never see again, sick with desire for people who are lost to the past.
Which is a pity, because I had such a good day yesterday.
I went for a good long hike in the morning, saw more swallowtail butterflies than I could count, and got so lost in contemplation that ( Read more... )

I am in California. My summmer plans died. A painful, sudden death. In fact, my prospective boss doesn't even know I'm in California, nor do most of my friends. I said goodbye to most people as if I would be around for the summer, as if I were only an hour or so drive away, because it still hadn't really hit me. I had tried so hard not to come ( Read more... )

I just got done writing the most eloquent introduction in French EVER. And I was thinking as I was writing it (which took a good hour and a half) how amazing it was that this could, possibly, be the last introduction I write in French. THEN! I think my computer read my brain, so it crashed. Goodbye, beautiful, poignant, expertly crafted

I am, admittadly, in an infinately better mood than I was before, thanks to the sunshine. However, contemplating the end stresses me the fuck out. Who, pray tell, will still be in my life next year? Or two months from now? And if people disappear from my life despite the infinate avenues technology has given us to keep in touch with, how am I ( Read more... )

This is what I loved about spring break ( Read more... )

Yesterday was so lovely I opened all my windows. It's just cool enough that you can't really tell it's spring unless you close your eyes and feel the sun on your face. You can also tell when you leave the store flanked by daffodil bunches and girl scouts selling the first samoas of the season. And then you roll down all the windows and sing ( Read more... )

The proximity of the end of college hit me today, and I felt this massive wave of nostalgia, to the point that I was dancing around the apartment singing to New Order, then to Reel Big Fish, then to Tom Waits. I feel like I've been so many different people in this short time. And I think the most remarkable thing is that I made all of them work, ( Read more... )

Oh, I miss France. Drinking Illy espresso and eating chocolate (both Italian, actually) and watching Gay Purr-ee (sadly, American. Happily, Judy Garland.) make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And maybe a little hardened and heartbroken. Two sides of the same coin ( Read more... )

ok. so note to self: don't pick up scissors or update your journal when you're this tired. Otherwise, you'll end up with hair that's too short and a really pathetically whiny journal entry about how hair is ruining your life. That you are somehow inherently FLAWED because for the first time since you started cutting your own hair 7 years ago, ( Read more... )

the end of the semester looms like two blinding beams slicing through the darkness of a tunnel. And no matter how loud the horn is, no matter how the driver leans out the window and hurls warnings at me, I can't seem to get off my lazy ass and move. I am a rabbit in your headlights. I should make a good fur coat by Christmas.