I want a snow cone. I want one bad.
when's the last time I ate a snow cone? probably something like 8 years ago.
I want to eat a snow cone and I am not willing to go to playland to get one.
you can see how this could be a problem.

oh man remember owning one of these?

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AWWWWWW-TTER 

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when i eat cupcakes, often, i will chew the paper part because it is delicious. then i spit them out when the flavor depletes.

THAT IS ALL

yesterday I was riding at the back of a bus and there were these 3 fat dudes tickling eachother

JUST PICTURE IT
YEAH

bread (toasted)
mayo
mushrooms
ham (roast, not loser deli meat)
stovetop stuffing
havarti cheese
sunflower seeds
lettuce
red + yellow peppers
mayo
bread (toasted)

sour cream turns red when it goes bad? this is my thing that i learned today

OH AND SWEET TARTS HAVE EXCITING NEW FLAVOURS FOR A LIMITED TIME!
ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? HELLOOOOOOOO

about a half hour ago i was walking east across the overpass in ladner and saw a pile of stuff in the middle. when i got closer i thought it was some guy sitting or passed out or something. when i got there it was actually some guys legs poking through with him hanging on the outside. so I say "you ok?" and hes all "oh yeah" and i take 2 more steps ( Read more... )

do you ever find yourself hanging around your house doing nothing all day and then you notice that your fly has been undone, like, THE WHOLE TIME and you go "OH MAN, i sure am glad i didnt try to accomplish anything today because that would have been REALLYEMBARRASSING" 
?

sure am glad

cowboys dont wash their hands

I was putting contact lenses into my eyes in the bathroom of a horse bazaar (A HORSE BAZAAR?) and like 7 or 8 cowboys went in and out without washing their hands

AND YOU TOTALLY KNOW THEY WENT AND HANDLED THEIR HORSES AND WIPED THEIR FILTH OFF ONTO THEIR BACKS RIGHT AWAY. AND, LIKE, FED THEM CARROTS AND OATS WITH THEIR ( Read more... )

I was just channel surfing and as I passed CNN, the headline (is it still called a headline on tv?) was "ASTRONAUT CHARGED WITH ATTEMPTED MURDER." for some reason I really like this headline. Im not saying I am stoked on murder. or even attempting it. OK!?!? AS LONG AS WE ARE CLEAR ON THAT. no, I am stoked on it because it seems like the type of ( Read more... )