Comments | jetjapan: dating co-workers? is it against the rules?

moldypotatochip in jetjapan

dating co-workers? is it against the rules?

Mar 02, 2010 17:15

I'm not really sure how it happened, but I will be having dinner with a single co-worker of the opposite sex on Friday. He is a teacher at one of my schools. I was thinking to myself at first that he just wanted to hang out with me as a friend, but as the day approaches, it is becoming apparent to me that it is probably a date. Just the two of ( Read more... )

relationships

Comments 14

megaraptor March 2 2010, 08:37:07 UTC

My friend, not a JET but an ALT, ended up marrying a teacher at one of her schools. She still has her job (much to her chagrin). I also know that two of my Japanese co-workers at my school dated, married, and kept their jobs. In both situations the rest of the staff knew but it was kept a secret from the students.

Different schools might have different ideas, though.

moldypotatochip March 2 2010, 09:29:18 UTC

Interesting! I guess if it was a relationship it would be awfully hard to keep everyone from noticing, but it makes sense to keep students out of it.

vanityfair00 March 2 2010, 09:47:56 UTC

I know someone like this too. My friend Daniel is marrying one of the English teachers he worked with. (I worked with her for awhile too!) They even went on a school trip to Hokkaido together and apparently it was then that things started getting more "serious." They aren't at the same school anymore but they were dating when they worked together. They are getting married this month actually and sadly I can't attend.

And to add... vanityfair00 March 2 2010, 09:49:17 UTC

I think people knew they were dating. They definitely know now because almost all of the teachers at the school are going to the wedding. They were asking if they would see me there and I had to tell them I'd be out of town.

zinagod March 2 2010, 09:03:33 UTC

I don't know. Usually in Japan, the workplace is the ideal place to meet possible partners. It's not unusual to co-workers to date. Your school or BOE might have their own rules about it.

If nothing else, I'd definitely keep it a secret from the students.

On a personal note, I had once mentioned at an enkai that I thought one of my JTEs was cute, and my boss basically gave me the thumbs up and told me to "go for it". So yeah. Apparently my BOE has no rules against it. If it does end up going in that direction for you, the teacher probably has a good idea about what is and isn't allowed.

moldypotatochip March 2 2010, 09:26:14 UTC

That's true... I guess I could just ask him what the policies are, should things end up that way!

tabular_rasa March 2 2010, 09:10:43 UTC

You're two consenting adults. It's potentially awkward, but, as far as I know, not against the rules. I mean, would be discreet about it; it's your private business and you have the right to keep it private and I'd advise you use it, but less for the fear of trouble as just to prevent any awkwardness/embarrassment.

wavy March 2 2010, 10:01:10 UTC

Keep it a secret and it should be fine. There's a lot of shady stuff that goes on that you probably have no idea about. lol

sabishii_kirito March 2 2010, 11:30:37 UTC

Don't bring it up or anything, but it's pretty normal from what I hear. Most of my JTEs are married to other teachers that they met at one of their previous schools. I think they said that the worst that's happened is that one of the teachers got transfered to another in-city school when the teacher swap came around, but even that didn't happen all of the time.