For a couple of years I have been embarrassed in a few ways which I don't want to hash out again. This has been partly because of my own indiscreation and partly because of people who take pleasure in getting in everyone business to stir up drama. Everyone always judges me based on what they first see and even that isn't true. What I AM is a hard ( Read more... )

I'm afraid of things being good. I'm afraid of letting myself hope again and that things will just end.

So it looks like another fun filled overcommited semester. Probably more so then usual. Its starting to seem likei can't just sit i nthe back of the classroom and drift away, i'll actually have to talk and participate. Damn it all. 3 more semesters to go, its all i gotta keep telling myself. 3 more and i'm done and out of here and away from ( Read more... )

So, its the last few hours of this year. I don't really have any resolutions for the coming year. I do know that looking back on this past year there are definately some things i would take back, some things i wouldn't have said, some things I should have said, and far too many tears to have shed. I just hope that this next year sees less stress ( Read more... )

So tis the season to get into accidents because people are stupid. Luckily i've gotten away from a couple but still. got all my x-mas shopping done early so i don't have to deal with the bozzo's rushing around like madmen. Mr. Fatty won't let me sleep cause he keeps jumping on the bed at night. I'm realizing that people are never satisfied. It ( Read more... )

i always make up excuses for the people i care about. I have to learn to say no and put my foot down. I don't know why i have trouble with that.

when to give up? feeling hard. over entended. tired. weird giddy moods lately. paint is expensive. laundry pile. too much reading. lights are shiny. must get through week end. want to procrastinate. too many people in house. late but can't sleep. ::bows::

So it seems that our lighting designer once again is crazy. He changed practically all the 2fer set up in the coves so it had to be redone. I almost shit a brick when he came into focus telling me that he changed it all. Thankfully I had a lot of capable great people just as comer, katelyn, kyle, ian, sam, etc. to help get it done and me with my ( Read more... )

So Alan didn't give me much to go on with what he wanted for photocall. So basically they ended up with a lot more then they actually needed. Kyle wasn't there to help me because he got hit by car. How someone doesn't notice a guy riding a bike completely baffles me. Sam was nice enoungh to stick around and help me with all of the two person ( Read more... )

I've felt really tense lately, like I can't relax or get a good calming breath in. My mind has been reeling through a million thoughts. I find myself compelled to action and then sit back idle, waiting and hoping things will change, which is rather unlike me. I've always been a very forward go to girl, always having to have things my way (and ( Read more... )