Poetry slam

[jgordner]

My last post involved a poem. I was told I didn't have what it takes to make it by friends and family (my own sister!). My friend Riggs said that I should stick to computers. I posted this poem as a reply to him

Comments

Your Poetry

[anonymous]

I am afraid that your friends (and sister) did well
to tell you that your poetry did smell.
This is a case where I am afraid
that your stubbornness just won't make the grade.
And as you can plainly read,
your father's no better than his seed.
So if you stick to the things that you know
chances are you won't fall so low
-- Again

Pappy

Re: Your Poetry

[jgordner]

It was a good attempt. Really, it was. It just didn't ring true. You know? Like, I got what you were trying to say. But I just didn't... buy it. You know?

Slammed

[dead_thought]

No more, my friend, please,
We are trying to help you.
Bears come after soup.
- Riggs

how the hell are you gordner. :D

[lilmissbooyah]

Telling Jon his poems suck
Is like taking the Force from Vader.
Other people just write much,
No wonder Riggs is such a H8r.

I think your words, sir
Are as lovely as they are rhymey.
And this Riggs is a foul-mouthed cur,
Your poems are vintage and old -timey.

If you stopped, for more everyone would beg,
So heed my advice and rhyme on!
All the jealous h8rs should go suck an egg.
And keep rhymin' with your bad self, Jon!

[jgordner]

This poem moved me.

When I started reading it, I was there. Now that I've read it, I'm here.

Moved, madam, moved.

[lilmissbooyah]

Except the last word in the 3rd line was supposed to be "muck", not "much."

Stupid typos. Cripes.

Slam On!

[anonymous]

Oh dear brother, I should be a studyin’
But I just needed to write, to tell you you’re buggin’
If you think that poetry is easy come easy go
You really need to think, plan it out and go slow.

I hear what you’re sayin’
And I know you ain’t playin’
But your rhythm and rhyme
Just ain’t right all the time.

I know you’ll get on track
And find your way back
Out of this damn poetry maze
To your prized bloggin’ ways.

But hear me now brother of mine
If you really want to shine,
You gotta stick to what you know
To truly feel your words flow. yo.