For the first time in my life I experienced a truly racist event within the last two weeks of my life. Someone that I thought was a just another adult in my life, none the less a parent of a dear friend. Recently while visiting Ryan, his father made a very racist remark to me. It wasn’t even to my face, just on my phone. He left a message on it ( Read more... )

I understand I said it was the last entry, but its been a positive change sort of. Recently I joined the Crew team again and it has given me something to do, in other words something else than to sit here and think about shit. It has kept the bad thoughts at bay. I might even go as far as to say it has made me happier. Who knows maybe its turned a ( Read more... )

This is Pointless. Only benefit of this is to get feedback at times, with none recieved so far, I rather keep my thoughts to myself.

Ok, so today Ryan, Anthony and I went to the King of Prussia Mall. It is bigger than I remember it to be. Yeah anyways though, on the way back I, in the most casual way possible, was thinking about hanging myself/jumping off the bridge/some other form of just ending life. But then I argued myself by stating, I can't do it now, I have to atleast ( Read more... )

The last couple days have been kinda down. It seems I feel the happiest at wee hours of the morning. During the daylight I can not function to the best of my capabilities. I get nervous, stuttery, confused, and stupider. Today during my 3rd midterm for Diff. Eq. class, I couldn't remember how to solve the partial fraction on something. Shit I ( Read more... )

Yet again I am engulfed by the thoughts of the past, thoughts of things that could have been, thoughts of things that should have been, and thoughts of things that I have given up. Why do I persist on living in the past? Why is that I only realize the things that make me happy after I have lost them? I am not blaming that on human nature.

I miss ( Read more... )

jarhead 4121984 (11:55:34 PM): We have yet to go for that coffee ( Read more... )

I have had about 5-6 drinks tonight .... monday night drinking ain't nothing like it.... I have class at 9 something in the morning so good night folks. I will write in detail tomorrow morning. I need to claim my bed quickly ...

So where to begin? I don't exactly know. Ok I guess a good place would be my expectations, and the reasoning behind them. After high school ended, it seemed as though my friendship with my best friend was ending as well. In school we got to see each other everyday, and work with each other every day. After graduation we hung out, but it was like ( Read more... )

( Read more... )