I wrote a book about Hitler and the Nazis. It is called "Jim's Big Book that is incidentally about HITLER (and the Nazis)." I may or may not have penned the title myself ( Read more... )

Whooo. I am sorry regret to inform you that I will no longer be joining you on this plane of existence (for dinner). I have been evicted by my landlord. I sure do live in a condo (hole in the ground), and gosh durnalgabbit, I just can't seem to pay my rent (shoelaces ( Read more... )

You may have been wondering "hey??? where's JIM MADISON ESQUIRE FONZELEBUDGE?" As you probably know, I had a Birthday on January 16th. I've been away due to the massively awesome surprise party Bill threw for me. What a guy. It had everything ( Read more... )

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Oh my god, there's this one guy named Parzanese who's all like HEY JIM MADISON! THIS TOWN IS NOT BIG ENOUGH FOR THE TWO OF US, COMPRENDE????

Okay, he didn't SAY it in the traditional sense of the word, but he was THINKING IT. WITH HIS BRAINSI just wanted to express my concerns and deep rooted joy in my decision to perhaps join his LARP ( ( Read more... )

So after my life spiraled into oblivion, I decided that television was too cruel of an existance for a petite de'jeur such as myself. I decided to drown my worries away in alcohol, by which I mean I poured a jar full of salt on my bloody neck stump ( Read more... )

Wee-ooh-weeooh-whump. |:^(

Yesterday, I was ridin' on a totally rockin' rollercoaster of feelin' pretty good, and today I've hit rockbottom. I had it all: fame, bib fortuna, and wild wimmen (with heads!). Where did it all go wrong!? I've squandered away my vast account and estate on trivial things! I'm broke, momma ( Read more... )

Today I went to the television land to star in a local broadcast of a show called either "Blood Potatoes make me Curdle" or "Texas State Toenail Patrol: Incognito." At least, that's what I said the show should be called. I think its either a gameshow or a soap opera ( Read more... )

I am NOT a space cadet zombie! But I play one on TV! That's right. Your's truly is going to be starring in his own television sitcom. I'm the main character. I play a robot from the future, who has to save the world's dwindling supply of comemmorative NASCAR drink coasters. They'll start shooting next monday. They told me to meet them in the alley ( Read more... )

So I rode my motorcycle into town today. And by rode I mean pushed. And by pushed I mean rubbed my naked body against a cactus ( Read more... )