god there is this fucking hipster i know. all she does is tell me about how her highschool life was so bad, well actually so great. well i can't tell the fucking differnece in what she is saying. she can't do anything but live in the past or in her magical world that isn't even that great. i always lied to her about liking her writing. i mean, she' ( Read more... )

cause i'm intellectual and i'm pretty sexual and baby that's just meeeeeeeee

okay so all the acoustic songs are turning into electropopblastardghettotechindustriestonightmistermistermister>

EKEEYzboRD
so glory hole in one is a hit song.
problems for breakfast is a hit song.
that spice girls one is good too.
um how about that freaky wolves ripping at your ( Read more... )

so i've been trying real hard. i promise. i've been doing so well, you know i have you know i have YOU KNOW I HAVE ( Read more... )

Helen Keller was born in June of 1880 in Tascumbia (a food from Africa served in snobby restuarants on the brown line in pmopous ass northside chicago resturants) Alabama. Her father then when she was six, brought her to Columbia college to learn sign language in the Congress building. She then majored in audio arts and acoustics, but dropped out ( Read more... )

i'm starting to see a pattern ( Read more... )

so i'm in this fancy hotel that looks and feels like something out of clue. there is a reception area where everybody is waiting for this concert. i'm there, and there is this guy with a moustache that's blonde and reddish, and he's got a collared shirt and a tie that says 'i just worked two double shifts' i can tell that he's an undercover cop, ( Read more... )

Sometimes I just like to fuck. I just like to pull a guy right from what they are doing and get them hot in ten seconds or less. I've got it timed like that. I can count in my head. I mean, well, I've gotten so used to having sex now that a lot of things go through my mind when I am getting shitty that it's my best time to think. I usually come up ( Read more... )

so i had this dream before rachel came over today that her, brett (this girl i went to highschool with) and her boyfriend (some dude who lives with junkies in boulder) were all at brett's stoner den and watching looney toones or fantsasia like we always do at her house because those are the only two VHS's she has/left on earth ( Read more... )

so it started out with 'hey lets go to madison's show, d la rochelle is going to be playing at this library i think?' sam told me.i knew that it couln't be at a lirbary, turns out it was just the warming house, this local little place that can't say no as long as you're good enough. usually it's supposed to be free, but it was five bucks. the band ( Read more... )

this is a parody of gogol's "the nose". the origional story was a comment on hierarchy and how much beurocracy sucked. um. i guess you can look at mine now.

oh and it sounds 100000x better if i read it out loud to you because i'm the finest piece of tightpants wearing ass grab anydayodiswekkeekekekekekekek.

herpes, this is for you!!!!!!
Final Parody
( Read more... )