I think that for anxious attachment afflicted humans, it's difficult to not internalize behaviors of others as a reflection of self. Even the most self aware people can have a reactionary moment of "What did I do?"

I feel like it's a blessing in disguise to understand the shadow aspects of myself that I still need to refine and honor. I did so ( Read more... )

Alright, I don't know how wonderful it was, but. . . I still remember it.

My stomach felt bloated. It felt tight. I went to the doctors and they did an ultrasound and I learned that not only was I pregnant, I was pregnant with a baby boy. The ultrasound screen had his father's name on it too.

I wasn't surprised by who the father was.

As I left ( Read more... )

"Stuck" is a good word.

I'm in a PM class tonight and the instructor said this and it was fascinating. He said its critical to socialize the word "stuck" that way people on your team feel comfortable raising the flag when they need help.

That's sticking (get it?) with me tonight.

At some point during Ascent, Paul said "The opposite of love isn't hate, it's fear."

It's funny how souls cycle and spin in this infinite loop of recycled events over time with a brief meeting point in the middle. It's so small and yet so life altering and affirming.

A little over a month ago I had this self sabotaging mentality going. It was ( Read more... )

fully accepting the dark and light within each other, bound by courage to grow through struggle into bliss.

I wanted to think soulmates were bullshit. I think that was a way of protecting myself if I didn't find them in this life. We've missed each other before, but I still hope we connect in this life. Until then. . .

Wait for the man who isn't ( Read more... )

Yes... I started a list of all the things I like (love) about this human because I know that he doesn't say these things to himself enough.

I started a list of all the things I like (love) about this human because I know we're going to have days where we need to be reminded.

I started a list of all the things I like (love) about this human ( Read more... )

So I am sitting here minding my business taking notes on a document for a Project Management Certificate program, and I get an immediate flashback to this past weekend.

a walk to my car, a long, close, warm, deep, safe embrace. I started to pull away and he held me. He looked into my eyes, lowered his head and I stood up on my tip toes to meet him ( Read more... )

6 days later and I still haven't "snapped" out of it.

It is such a strange space to be in when you are at war in your own head. I am so devoid of feeling right now but am desperate to feel joy.

Yet in a moment where I feel some semblance of happiness, it feels too extreme so I pull back for fear of breaking down.

I can't hold onto happiness long ( Read more... )

...sometimes it's at 3 pm when you're with friends and in the middle of a laugh"

Yesterday was beautiful. Aside from going to work wearing a see through shirt. I laughed, I got a lot of great work done, I felt good.

When I got home, I noticed my grandpa and Frankie working together to put her desk together. I knew he was going to need more help ( Read more... )

Is a truth withheld a lie?

What is the difference between keeping things private and lying by omission?

Is it intent?