Fic: Witness Protection, part 18/??
Title: Witness Protection, part 18/??
Fandom: Parks and Recreation
Characters/Ships: Ben/Leslie, Chris/Ann, Andy/April, Ben/Pawnee, ensemble
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~ 5,400
Summary: When corporate whistleblowers Ben Adams and Chris Robinson barely escape an attempt on their lives, they gladly accept the protection of the Federal Witness Protection program. What they don't count on is being sent to a city that feels more like something out of a movie or a sitcom than real life: Pawnee Indiana. An AU starting in "Master Plan."
Author's Notes: Okay-this is the first of 3 (maybe 4) chapters that I'm calling "the calm before the storm," and then we're heading into our climax. Again, thank you for all the words of encouragement. You have no idea how much they mean to me. And Happy New Year! Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17
Ben rested his cheek against Leslie's belly, draping an arm across her and casually gripping her hip. He let his head rise and sink with her breath and smiled in utter contentment.
So this is what happiness feels like. I'd almost forgotten.
Leslie sighed. "I don't know if I mentioned this last night, but you are really good at that."
He smiled against her skin. "You're welcome. And you did mention it, but I don't mind hearing it again, considering how ridiculously out of practice I am."
"Trust me-it doesn't show." She ran her fingers through his hair.
He laughed softly, and planted a kiss beside her belly button. "Just like riding a bicycle, I guess."
"Hmm. I'm not sure how much I like that analogy …"
He laughed again. "Poor choice of words. Sorry."
"Mmm." She ruffled his hair again. "So-you weren't with anyone when everything at Everson's went down?"
Ben rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "No. My last relationship ended about two months before I was promoted to head up the internal auditing department. And I'm glad it did, after seeing what Chris went through with Kelsey."
Leslie scooted to sit up against the headboard, and Ben followed her lead. "Nothing since?"
He shrugged and then snuggled up against her. The less physical distance between them, the better. "I had a one night stand right before I went to the FBI. But I don't usually do that sort of thing. I'm no good at it."
"I'm not very good at it, either." She threaded her fingers through his and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Huh. I'm doing the math, and that really has been a long time. Not that I'm much better. My last relationship lasted about 6 weeks, and I called it off right after Valentine's Day."
Ben frowned. Putting himself in the guy's shoes, that had to suck. Bad. But here in Leslie's bed, Ben felt pretty good about it.
"And you haven't, you know, tried dating anyone since then?" he asked.
She shook her head lightly and dropped a kiss on his upper arm. "My mind's been on other things. Like keeping my job. And saving my department. And a certain budget consultant who drives me absolutely crazy."
Ben smiled again and trailed his fingers across her skin, tracing the outlines of her body. He'd been getting to know it pretty well for the past twelve or so hours, but the better he knew it, the more he wanted.
He hadn't felt this kind of heady excitement over a new relationship since he was in his early twenties. How had he gotten so jaded and cynical so quickly?
"My mind has been on things other than relationships for-way too long," he confessed. "I started making my career the priority over everything else not long after graduating from college. It got me a big paycheck and a nice condo, but not much else." He spoke softly, considering his words carefully. These thoughts had been swirling in his head for a long time now, but he'd never put them together like this before. "Somewhere along the line I started living for work instead of living for myself. And now that my career is gone and all I have left is myself, I see how empty that was. No wonder none of my relationships over the past decade lasted longer than five months. I was an idiot. I had no idea what I was giving up."
Leslie remained silent, letting him get his words out without interruption. She simply started rubbing a soothing hand across his back and held his hand a little firmer.
"But I know now," he said. "I came here and saw what you and everyone around you had. You're more than just coworkers. You're like an extended family. You care about each other, and about your community, and no one gets forgotten or overlooked. Everyone matters-not just because of what they can do for the bottom line, but because of who they are. I haven't had something like this since I was a kid. I didn't realize how much I missed it because I hadn't realized this was something grown-ups could still have."
And in a few weeks it would be gone. Maybe for good.
His throat felt tight. He couldn't let himself think about it. Not yet. He needed to soak up enough happiness for the next two weeks to last him for a long, long time.
"I'm really glad they sent me here," he concluded simply.
"Me too," she said, burying her face against his chest.
They stayed there, holding each other, until their rumbling stomachs drove them out of bed and down to the kitchen for some breakfast.
As they finished their eggs and toast (Leslie had made hers into cinnamon toast. Of course.), she asked, "So, do you want to stay in, today, or go out?"
He swallowed his bite of toast. "Where would we go?"
She shrugged. "The zoo is fun on Sundays. Have you been to the zoo yet? Or we could go for a walk. Sometimes on Sundays I go pick up litter in the parks, or go grocery shopping. But that stuff is boring. We could-"
"I don't think it's boring," Ben said without thinking.
Leslie raised her eyebrows. "Really? That stuff is just my regular busywork. Just, normal life."
"Yeah. That's what I like about it. I-I kind of want to be normal for a while, you know?"
Her soft smile was more than enough to let him know that she understood.
Less than an hour later they trudged through Circle Park wearing work gloves and carrying trash bags. But Ben's heart had never felt lighter. As they picked up litter in and around the park they swapped stories about their childhoods. Ben hadn't yet encountered Leslie's mom (his work hadn't led him to interact with anyone from the school district), but she sounded like someone who would've gotten along with his mom very well. It was fun imagining Leslie as a little girl with golden pig-tails, out on the weekend with her parents to do the same sorts of community service that she still volunteered her time for as an adult.
After they finished, Ben admitted that he was starting to feel a little grimy. "These are the same clothes I wore out to the shooting hill with Ron yesterday morning. I think I need to go pick up some clean stuff from home. Especially if you want me to stay over tonight. I mean-do you want me to stay?"
"Yes! Of course I do. Okay. So, we'll go by your place."
Ben narrowed his eyes. "You do know we might have to talk to Chris. You don't mind, do you?"
Leslie took a deep breath. "I don't mind. Actually, I think I'd like to talk to Chris."
"Really?" Ben raised his eyebrows.
"Really." Leslie nodded resolutely.
"Okay, then." Ben's own stomach stirred uncomfortably. He'd been pretty crappy to Chris through this whole crazy process and he didn't think he could apologize properly with Leslie there. But it looked like he had no choice. "Let's go see Chris."
~ ~ ~
After a night of insomniac misery, Chris had managed to get a little under two hours of sleep early in the morning, only to wake with the sun.
But the dawn of a new day brought him no relief.
The loneliness and regret gnawed at him. All the bad feelings that he'd been ignoring or delaying or postponing for the past year had burst up from the depths of his soul, and threatened to drown him.
After forcing down a smoothie, he spent the morning trying to meditate. Unfortunately, every time he closed his eyes, Kelsey's face floated to the forefront of his consciousness. And every time he opened them back up, he felt overwhelmed by the emptiness of the life he was leading here.
There was no answer and no hope.
As the day crept toward noon, he was startled from his depressed stupor by the sound of the front door opening. He raised his head from where he sat, slumped on the floor in front of the sofa, and turned to look.
Ben stepped inside, with Leslie close behind him. Their hands were clasped and both of them looked . . . they looked happy.
Chris's heart twisted in his chest.
Damn it. Why now? Why today?
Ben's smile took on a sheepish quirk when he met Chris's eyes. "Hey you. How-" his eyes narrowed, his smile fading a little more, "-how are you doing?"
"I-am," Chris replied, his voice trailing off as his brain stalled. He had nothing to say to that question.
"Hi, Chris," said Leslie softly, a friendly smile on her face.
"Hello."
Ben stepped a little farther into the room. "Chris, I, uh, just wanted to say that I'm sorry. About the craziness for the last little while. I know I wasn't easy to deal with, and, uh, you were great. You were really patient. And great. And I wanted you to know that I appreciate it. And I'm very sorry."
Chris's throat felt tight as he nodded. Patience. He may not have love. Or a home. Or safety. Or real friends. But at least he had patience. "Thank you," he choked out.
Ben sighed. "Okay. Thanks. Really. Um-I'm going to go pack an overnight bag and head back out with Leslie. I'll just be a minute." With a nod he turned and jogged up the stairs, leaving Leslie standing there, smiling.
What was the protocol for this situation? How did one re-introduce oneself to his ex-girlfriend's best friend who was now his roommate's lover, and who now knew that he wasn't who he said he was? He stretched his legs and pushed up on the couch to lever himself to his feet. He met her eyes, and found he had literally no idea what to say.
Fortunately, Leslie didn't have the same problem.
She stepped toward him. "You're a good man, Chris," she said.
He blinked in surprise. "What?"
"You're a good man," she repeated. "I know you and I have had our difficulties. And I still don't like the way you treated Ann. But I understand why, now. Ben told me about Kelsey." She took a breath before continuing. "He told me about everything. And I understand. You're a good man. You sacrificed a good life to see that justice would be done. Not many people would have the strength to do that. And I just wanted to say-thank you."
Thank you? Chris blinked hard as he felt tears welling in his eyes.
Leslie stepped around the couch to stand immediately in front of him. "Thank you, Chris. Thank you for making those sacrifices. Thank you for being willing to do the right thing, no matter what the cost. Just-thank you."
"No one has ever thanked me for this, before." Chris stood, looking down on her in astonishment. Of all the possible reactions for someone to have, this was the last he ever would have expected.
Her smile brightened. "I'm glad I'm the first. But I won't be the last. I'm certain of it." Without another word she spread her arms and stepped forward to pull him into a warm embrace.
He hugged her back, and sniffled. "I'm beginning to understand why Ben cares for you so deeply. You're a remarkable woman, Leslie Knope."
"And you're a remarkable man," she said, stepping back from the embrace and giving him a firm pat on the shoulder. "I feel lucky to know you."
"Thank you." He had no other words.
When Ben and Leslie left, again, he still felt very alone. But he didn't feel quite so lost anymore. He had a purpose. He was a good man. And people would thank him for this, someday.
It was a scant comfort, but at a time like this, every little bit helped.
~ ~ ~
"This feels weird," said Leslie as she wrapped the final lock of her hair around the curling iron. She raised her voice so that Ben would hear her out in the bedroom, where he was adjusting his tie in the dresser mirror.
"What feels weird?" he called back.
Leslie hit her curls with a little hairspray before answering. "Getting ready for work, together."
She stepped into her bedroom, and Ben turned to meet her eyes with that boyish grin she'd grown so fond of. "I kind of like it," he said.
She smiled back. "I like it, too. But it still feels weird-just going to work again. Pretending that everything is still normal, when we both know it isn't."
Ben sighed, his smile falling a little. "I know the lying thing won't be easy for you. I'm sorry. But it's just for a few weeks. You'll manage ju-"
"I know, I know," she cut him off, waving her hands in front of her. "You don't need to remind me how soon you're leaving. I don't want to think about that, today. Okay?"
His lips were tight as he nodded in reply. "Okay."
Naturally, all day long Leslie couldn't think about anything else. Ben was leaving in just over two weeks.
Flying the coop. Gone. Across country, tucked away in a "safe house," and forbidden any contact with the outside world.
Yet, here they were at work. Acting as if it was just another normal day.
Leslie had never been one to resent the routine tasks of her job. On the contrary, she relished them. Every report written or read, every phone call, every planning meeting, it all added up to a wonderful whole that made her city so much better. She was proud of that daily grind.
But right now it actually felt insignificant.
On the other side of the building was a man she cared about very much, who was leaving in two weeks, and who she might never see again. How could she possibly focus on normal work when she needed to squeeze in every possible moment with him? It didn't seem right.
By ten a.m. she already couldn't stand it. She texted him to meet her in ten minutes in one of the conference rooms, and when he showed up she locked the door, pulled him into the corner and attacked his face with her lips.
After a few minutes of serious making out, he pulled back for air. "Not that I mind all this, but, uh, we probably shouldn't get caught. The reporting chain is a little murky, but there's a chance you could get some sort of official reprimand for this, and I don't want to leave you with any kind of trouble . . ."
"Ugh. Just shut up." She pulled him back in for more making out, clinging to him even more tightly. Why did he have to be so reasonable and practical? The rational part of her brain tried to remind her that he'd had a year to get used to the expectation that his life wasn't his own anymore, and that his future depended entirely upon the results of the trial and any subsequent appeals. But she hadn't, damn it! And her irrational brain wasn't ready to stop fighting, yet.
Eventually she slowed things down, settling into a tight hug. She leaned her head and against his shoulder and tried to relish the feeling of his arms around her.
So little time . . .
"I'm meeting Ann for lunch in two hours," she murmured.
"I remember."
"I have to tell her about us. I have to start lying."
He ran his hand over her hair and held her a little tighter with his other arm. "I know. Do you need to practice again-or do you think you've got it covered?"
"I don't need to practice. But I still hate it." It gnawed at her. Ann could be trusted. Leslie knew she could be. But it wasn't her secret to share.
"I know you do. I'm sorry."
"It's okay." She sighed. "I'll be okay." But would Ann? Once the truth finally came out, would Ann be able to forgive her?
"Hey," said Ben, "can I take you out on a date tonight? A real one? We haven't been on a real date, yet."
She tipped her head to smile up at him. He tried so hard to make things normal and right and good. It made her heart glad. "Yeah. I'd like that."
"Great. Dress up. I'll take you to a nice restaurant." His eyes sparkled with excitement. "Pick you up at seven?"
"Seven sounds perfect."
Leslie forced herself to get back to work until her lunch. She wasn't sure which was worse-Ben leaving, or having to lie to Ann for the next two and a half weeks.
It was pretty much a toss-up.
Ann reacted to the news much as Leslie expected.
"I still think this is a mistake," Ann said, shaking her head and jabbing at her salad with a fork. "Long distance is hard, and I'm scared you're just going to get hurt."
Leslie took a deep breath. "You're probably right. It probably is a mistake, and I probably will get hurt. But it's my mistake to make. And, with the slight chance that this really will work out and Ben and I really can make it," she shook her head, "to me, it's worth the risk. I really care about him, and I think it's worth the risk."
Ann bit her bottom lip, her eyes still troubled, but she reached out to grasp Leslie's hand. "If that's how you really feel, then I'll stand by you. Always. But it's not going to stop me from worrying."
Leslie smiled. Keeping up the lies wouldn't be easy, but moments like this made her think that in the end, Ann would understand. When all was said and done, they'd be able to make things right. Because that's what best friends did. "I'm glad you worry. Thank you for worrying."
Ann smiled. "That's my job."
And that's why she was the most perfect and beautiful best friend in the world.
Leslie only managed to see Ben for a few minutes that afternoon, and her eagerness for their date grew by the hour. It didn't matter if she'd spent an entire day and a half with him over the weekend-it would never be enough.
She made it home by six and spent the next hour primping-freshening up her make-up, pinning up her hair, and changing into a pretty plum-colored dress that she hadn't had occasion to wear in a good long time.
Though Leslie wasn't a big fan of first dates, she'd always enjoyed subsequent dates. Going out with actual boyfriends rather than mere prospects. The food-the atmosphere-the conversation-it was always something she looked forward to. For a short while she let herself imagine that this was just a normal date with an awesome and adorable new boyfriend. But as seven o'clock drew closer, the harsh reality began to worm its way back to the forefront of her mind.
She wanted Ben so much. He fit so perfectly into her life in so many ways. Crap. Here come the tears again.
No. No no no. She was going to be happy for these two weeks, damn it! Happy!
She managed to rein in her emotions until she heard the doorbell ring. She rushed to the front door and grinned in delight when she opened it to see Ben dressed in his nicest suit, bearing a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
God, she wanted him so much.
She took a few deep breaths to steady herself. "They're lovely! Thank you so much," she said, taking the flowers and navigating the clutter on the way to her kitchen to pop them in a vase. As soon as she had them in water, she turned back to the handsome man with the wonderful smile standing there, staring at her with adoring eyes.
Dinner could wait.
She attacked his face again. He didn't seem to mind. Until she started tugging at his belt.
"Whoa," he inched back from her. "Don't you want to wait until after we go out?"
"No. Absolutely not."
He raised his eyebrows, looking a bit disbelieving, but still willing. "Okay, then."
It didn't take long for her to get him back into the front room and down on her couch. Minus the pants, of course.
She kicked off her panties and straddled his lap, sinking down with a long sigh of relief. This was exactly what she'd been needing all day long.
As they moved together, Leslie tried to savor every moment-to memorize each sensation as it came. She'd already been so keyed up that it didn't take her long to go over the edge, and Ben followed soon after. She slumped forward, leaning against him and wrapping herself around him to take in the last delicious waves of pleasure.
Was it possible to store up these feelings in some sort of memory-bank, so that in the long, empty year to come she could pull them out whenever she needed them?
Probably not, but she was determined to try.
After taking a few minutes to collect herself, she sat back up and said, "Okay. We can go to dinner now."
Ben started to chuckle. "Maybe we should get dressed first."
"Yeah. Good call."
~ ~ ~
The first few days of the new week passed in a surreal blur for Ben. He still dealt with the little details of putting together their final financial reports and plans for Pawnee, but in between work his day was interrupted with moments of sheer, dreamlike bliss.
Ten minute rendezvous with Leslie in quite meeting rooms for some secret making out. Holding her hand under the table at lunch. Entwining his body with hers before sleeping every night and first thing upon waking every morning. And the quiet moments in the evenings, where they laughed over dinner or snuggled on her bed while watching TV.
It was perfect.
And he tried with all his might to push back any thoughts of how fleeting it would be.
If only … If only …
Thursday morning as he sat at his desk working on the long-term plan for Public Works, he got a call on his cell from Agent Burdette.
"Yeah?" he said, answering.
"Hey, we need to talk to you guys about our plans for the future. Can we meet this evening? Your place at six-thirty?"
Ben closed his eyes and tried to banish the implications of the word "future" from his thoughts. "Yeah. Sure. I'll talk to Chris. We don't have any fixed plans."
"Okay. See you tonight."
When he broke the news to Leslie less than an hour later, she looked momentarily stunned-as if she had been pinched.
She blinked a few times. "Oh. So-what do think she needs to talk about?"
Ben sighed. He knew that the more they talked about this, the worse they would both feel. "You know. The packing up. The moving. What to do with the stuff we want to keep. The exact schedule. That sort of thing."
"Yep. Okay. Yeah." Leslie nodded slowly. "I guess you do have to work out the logistics. That makes sense. So . . . I guess I won't see you tonight?"
The resigned tone in her voice made his heart ache. "It probably won't take all night. I can call you when they're gone. If-if you want?"
Leslie's eyes flitted up to meet his gaze, and then turned down again. "Yes. Go ahead. Call me when they leave. Maybe we can still . . .?" She shook her head and shrugged.
"Yeah. Maybe."
The dread of facing a long discussion of the very future he didn't want to think about dragged Ben down for the rest of the day, just like those stupid ankle weights Chris gave him for his last birthday.
The last thing he wanted to deal with right now was the harsh reality of just how soon he'd be leaving the town he'd started to think of as "home," and the woman he'd learned to love.
Would he and Chris ever stop being fate's punching bag? Would they ever have the chance to be truly happy again? At times, Ben seriously doubted it.
Which was why the marshals' news caught him so off guard.
"The trial's been delayed, again," said Agent Lewis, sitting across from him in the living room.
Ben blinked in surprise, and he heard Chris drawing in a long, slow breath beside him.
"I-what does that mean?" said Chris. "For us?"
"It means you don't need to be in Atlanta until just before the new trial date, which is in the first week of March," replied Agent Burdette.
"So we can stay?" The words burst from Ben's lips as soon as the thought entered his brain, and he felt immediately self-conscious about how much he'd sounded like a kid being told he could eat all his Halloween candy in one night.
Agent Burdette raised an eyebrow and the corners of her lips quirked up slightly. "That is one of the possibilities, yes."
Chris cleared his throat. "Don't be hasty, Ben. Let's hear all our options before making a decision."
The hard edge in Chris's voice gave Ben pause. "Uh-yes. Yes. Let's hear it all. Okay."
Burdette looked back and forth between the two of them before nodding briefly and continuing. "The first option is staying here. We've covertly contacted your landlady, and she hasn't leased the condo to anyone else, yet. You can probably re-up your lease and spread the word that your Atlanta job fell through. It would be easy to change your cover story to say that you're staying here while you look for new work. The problem with that is that I don't know if you'd be able to maintain that cover for the entire three month extension without actually looking for work."
"Which isn't out of the question," broke in Lewis. "It just complicates things."
Ben nodded. Complications. Always more complications. But the chance to stay-three more months!-was more than worth it. Wasn't it? "What are the other options?"
"We can get you new cover identities and move you out again," replied Lewis.
"Or we can stick you back in a safe-house somewhere, and keep you on what amounts to house arrest. You've done that routine already. You know the drill." Burdette spoke with a tone of finality.
"And that's it?" Ben asked.
Lewis nodded. "That's it."
There was no contest. None whatsoever. They got to stay.
A new lightness filled Ben's chest.
It felt like the first day of summer break from school.
Until Chris spoke again.
"I don't think either of us would agree to another safe-house," he said. "But another relocation might be in our best interest."
"Wait-what?" Chris couldn't be serious.
Chris held up a hand. "I think we need to discuss this before we make a final decision." He looked back at the marshals. "How long do we have to decide?"
"Until Sunday night. We'll need all of next week to put together new cover identities together if that's what you decide," replied Burdette.
Ben frowned, but held his tongue. He'd trampled all over Chris's wishes for months now. He could give him a real discussion. He could give him a day or two. Ben owed him that much.
"Okay," said Chris. "We'll call you before the end of the weekend to let you know. Is that everything?"
Lewis nodded. "That covers it."
They said their goodbyes and sent the marshals on their way back to Indy.
Once the door was closed, Ben turned to Chris. "Okay. So-explain to me why we need to talk about this before making up our minds?"
"You're thinking with your heart instead of your mind," replied Chris, striding back to an armchair in the living room and sitting down.
Ben raked a hand through his hair and stood in the middle of the room, too restless to sit down. "What's wrong with that? I-I don't see how staying here would be bad, or not smart, or not safe, or-or anything else."
"You know the longer we stay in one place, the greater the possibility that evidence of our being here will make its way back to Everson."
"Our cover here is solid," Ben insisted.
"But will it always be?" Chris replied. "With every change to our story, the more cracks there will be. And a fake job hunt will expose us to more scrutiny, and more gossip."
Ben shifted back and forth on his feet. Okay. So, Chris had a point. But still- "The chances of word getting back to Everson are miniscule."
"Slightly less miniscule the longer we stay."
"Only slightly," said Ben, holding his thumb and pointer finger less than a centimeter apart.
They held each other's gaze for a moment. "Are you really that miserable here?" Ben finally asked.
Chris's eyes flicked down. "I'll be miserable anywhere. At least, until this trial is finally over."
"So why not stay? You have friends here. Really-you do."
"I know." Chris nodded slowly. "I do. But I worry-" He hesitated.
Ben frowned. "What do you worry?"
Chris met his eyes. "Does Leslie know you're in love with her?"
"I-" Ben stammered, surprised by the question. "I-I haven't told her, yet. I feel like it's . . . premature."
"Does she love you?" Chris asked.
Ben swallowed hard and sank into the nearest armchair. "I-No. I think she could, if we had enough time. But right now-right now that's not what we have. This is just-I-I think it's just her way of saying goodbye to what might have been."
Admitting the truth out loud hurt. Not that saying it out loud made it any truer than it had been when he'd merely thought it. But saying it-admitting it-gave it a sharper edge. And it cut.
Chris nodded. "That's what I thought. So, by staying here for three more months you hope to-what? Make her fall in love with you, and fall even deeper yourself while you're at it? What good will that do either of you? The trial will still come, and you'll still be cut off from each other for a year or longer. Do you really expect her to wait all that time, hoping you'll finally be free to come back? Wasting the prime of her life waiting for something that might never happen? Is that really what you want for her?"
Chris's words stabbed into Ben's already open wound.
Damn it.
"Is it what you want?" Chris repeated.
"Of course it's not," snapped Ben. He wanted to throw something. To scream at the heavens. To curse whatever it was that decided this would be his lot in life. He softened his voice. "Of course it's not."
He put his elbows on his knees and rested his head in his hands. "I don't want to leave."
"I know," replied Chris with sympathy in his voice.
Ben took a few breaths. "Can I have a day or two to think this over?" He raised his eyes to meet Chris's gaze.
Chris nodded. "Sure. And-I'm going to let you make this call. If you decide to stay, I'll support you. If you decide to go, I'll back you on that, too. This one is your choice to make."
Ben clenched his teeth together and nodded.
So much for his perfect week.
TBC
chapter 19
Fandom: Parks and Recreation
Characters/Ships: Ben/Leslie, Chris/Ann, Andy/April, Ben/Pawnee, ensemble
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~ 5,400
Summary: When corporate whistleblowers Ben Adams and Chris Robinson barely escape an attempt on their lives, they gladly accept the protection of the Federal Witness Protection program. What they don't count on is being sent to a city that feels more like something out of a movie or a sitcom than real life: Pawnee Indiana. An AU starting in "Master Plan."
Author's Notes: Okay-this is the first of 3 (maybe 4) chapters that I'm calling "the calm before the storm," and then we're heading into our climax. Again, thank you for all the words of encouragement. You have no idea how much they mean to me. And Happy New Year! Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17
Ben rested his cheek against Leslie's belly, draping an arm across her and casually gripping her hip. He let his head rise and sink with her breath and smiled in utter contentment.
So this is what happiness feels like. I'd almost forgotten.
Leslie sighed. "I don't know if I mentioned this last night, but you are really good at that."
He smiled against her skin. "You're welcome. And you did mention it, but I don't mind hearing it again, considering how ridiculously out of practice I am."
"Trust me-it doesn't show." She ran her fingers through his hair.
He laughed softly, and planted a kiss beside her belly button. "Just like riding a bicycle, I guess."
"Hmm. I'm not sure how much I like that analogy …"
He laughed again. "Poor choice of words. Sorry."
"Mmm." She ruffled his hair again. "So-you weren't with anyone when everything at Everson's went down?"
Ben rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "No. My last relationship ended about two months before I was promoted to head up the internal auditing department. And I'm glad it did, after seeing what Chris went through with Kelsey."
Leslie scooted to sit up against the headboard, and Ben followed her lead. "Nothing since?"
He shrugged and then snuggled up against her. The less physical distance between them, the better. "I had a one night stand right before I went to the FBI. But I don't usually do that sort of thing. I'm no good at it."
"I'm not very good at it, either." She threaded her fingers through his and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Huh. I'm doing the math, and that really has been a long time. Not that I'm much better. My last relationship lasted about 6 weeks, and I called it off right after Valentine's Day."
Ben frowned. Putting himself in the guy's shoes, that had to suck. Bad. But here in Leslie's bed, Ben felt pretty good about it.
"And you haven't, you know, tried dating anyone since then?" he asked.
She shook her head lightly and dropped a kiss on his upper arm. "My mind's been on other things. Like keeping my job. And saving my department. And a certain budget consultant who drives me absolutely crazy."
Ben smiled again and trailed his fingers across her skin, tracing the outlines of her body. He'd been getting to know it pretty well for the past twelve or so hours, but the better he knew it, the more he wanted.
He hadn't felt this kind of heady excitement over a new relationship since he was in his early twenties. How had he gotten so jaded and cynical so quickly?
"My mind has been on things other than relationships for-way too long," he confessed. "I started making my career the priority over everything else not long after graduating from college. It got me a big paycheck and a nice condo, but not much else." He spoke softly, considering his words carefully. These thoughts had been swirling in his head for a long time now, but he'd never put them together like this before. "Somewhere along the line I started living for work instead of living for myself. And now that my career is gone and all I have left is myself, I see how empty that was. No wonder none of my relationships over the past decade lasted longer than five months. I was an idiot. I had no idea what I was giving up."
Leslie remained silent, letting him get his words out without interruption. She simply started rubbing a soothing hand across his back and held his hand a little firmer.
"But I know now," he said. "I came here and saw what you and everyone around you had. You're more than just coworkers. You're like an extended family. You care about each other, and about your community, and no one gets forgotten or overlooked. Everyone matters-not just because of what they can do for the bottom line, but because of who they are. I haven't had something like this since I was a kid. I didn't realize how much I missed it because I hadn't realized this was something grown-ups could still have."
And in a few weeks it would be gone. Maybe for good.
His throat felt tight. He couldn't let himself think about it. Not yet. He needed to soak up enough happiness for the next two weeks to last him for a long, long time.
"I'm really glad they sent me here," he concluded simply.
"Me too," she said, burying her face against his chest.
They stayed there, holding each other, until their rumbling stomachs drove them out of bed and down to the kitchen for some breakfast.
As they finished their eggs and toast (Leslie had made hers into cinnamon toast. Of course.), she asked, "So, do you want to stay in, today, or go out?"
He swallowed his bite of toast. "Where would we go?"
She shrugged. "The zoo is fun on Sundays. Have you been to the zoo yet? Or we could go for a walk. Sometimes on Sundays I go pick up litter in the parks, or go grocery shopping. But that stuff is boring. We could-"
"I don't think it's boring," Ben said without thinking.
Leslie raised her eyebrows. "Really? That stuff is just my regular busywork. Just, normal life."
"Yeah. That's what I like about it. I-I kind of want to be normal for a while, you know?"
Her soft smile was more than enough to let him know that she understood.
Less than an hour later they trudged through Circle Park wearing work gloves and carrying trash bags. But Ben's heart had never felt lighter. As they picked up litter in and around the park they swapped stories about their childhoods. Ben hadn't yet encountered Leslie's mom (his work hadn't led him to interact with anyone from the school district), but she sounded like someone who would've gotten along with his mom very well. It was fun imagining Leslie as a little girl with golden pig-tails, out on the weekend with her parents to do the same sorts of community service that she still volunteered her time for as an adult.
After they finished, Ben admitted that he was starting to feel a little grimy. "These are the same clothes I wore out to the shooting hill with Ron yesterday morning. I think I need to go pick up some clean stuff from home. Especially if you want me to stay over tonight. I mean-do you want me to stay?"
"Yes! Of course I do. Okay. So, we'll go by your place."
Ben narrowed his eyes. "You do know we might have to talk to Chris. You don't mind, do you?"
Leslie took a deep breath. "I don't mind. Actually, I think I'd like to talk to Chris."
"Really?" Ben raised his eyebrows.
"Really." Leslie nodded resolutely.
"Okay, then." Ben's own stomach stirred uncomfortably. He'd been pretty crappy to Chris through this whole crazy process and he didn't think he could apologize properly with Leslie there. But it looked like he had no choice. "Let's go see Chris."
~ ~ ~
After a night of insomniac misery, Chris had managed to get a little under two hours of sleep early in the morning, only to wake with the sun.
But the dawn of a new day brought him no relief.
The loneliness and regret gnawed at him. All the bad feelings that he'd been ignoring or delaying or postponing for the past year had burst up from the depths of his soul, and threatened to drown him.
After forcing down a smoothie, he spent the morning trying to meditate. Unfortunately, every time he closed his eyes, Kelsey's face floated to the forefront of his consciousness. And every time he opened them back up, he felt overwhelmed by the emptiness of the life he was leading here.
There was no answer and no hope.
As the day crept toward noon, he was startled from his depressed stupor by the sound of the front door opening. He raised his head from where he sat, slumped on the floor in front of the sofa, and turned to look.
Ben stepped inside, with Leslie close behind him. Their hands were clasped and both of them looked . . . they looked happy.
Chris's heart twisted in his chest.
Damn it. Why now? Why today?
Ben's smile took on a sheepish quirk when he met Chris's eyes. "Hey you. How-" his eyes narrowed, his smile fading a little more, "-how are you doing?"
"I-am," Chris replied, his voice trailing off as his brain stalled. He had nothing to say to that question.
"Hi, Chris," said Leslie softly, a friendly smile on her face.
"Hello."
Ben stepped a little farther into the room. "Chris, I, uh, just wanted to say that I'm sorry. About the craziness for the last little while. I know I wasn't easy to deal with, and, uh, you were great. You were really patient. And great. And I wanted you to know that I appreciate it. And I'm very sorry."
Chris's throat felt tight as he nodded. Patience. He may not have love. Or a home. Or safety. Or real friends. But at least he had patience. "Thank you," he choked out.
Ben sighed. "Okay. Thanks. Really. Um-I'm going to go pack an overnight bag and head back out with Leslie. I'll just be a minute." With a nod he turned and jogged up the stairs, leaving Leslie standing there, smiling.
What was the protocol for this situation? How did one re-introduce oneself to his ex-girlfriend's best friend who was now his roommate's lover, and who now knew that he wasn't who he said he was? He stretched his legs and pushed up on the couch to lever himself to his feet. He met her eyes, and found he had literally no idea what to say.
Fortunately, Leslie didn't have the same problem.
She stepped toward him. "You're a good man, Chris," she said.
He blinked in surprise. "What?"
"You're a good man," she repeated. "I know you and I have had our difficulties. And I still don't like the way you treated Ann. But I understand why, now. Ben told me about Kelsey." She took a breath before continuing. "He told me about everything. And I understand. You're a good man. You sacrificed a good life to see that justice would be done. Not many people would have the strength to do that. And I just wanted to say-thank you."
Thank you? Chris blinked hard as he felt tears welling in his eyes.
Leslie stepped around the couch to stand immediately in front of him. "Thank you, Chris. Thank you for making those sacrifices. Thank you for being willing to do the right thing, no matter what the cost. Just-thank you."
"No one has ever thanked me for this, before." Chris stood, looking down on her in astonishment. Of all the possible reactions for someone to have, this was the last he ever would have expected.
Her smile brightened. "I'm glad I'm the first. But I won't be the last. I'm certain of it." Without another word she spread her arms and stepped forward to pull him into a warm embrace.
He hugged her back, and sniffled. "I'm beginning to understand why Ben cares for you so deeply. You're a remarkable woman, Leslie Knope."
"And you're a remarkable man," she said, stepping back from the embrace and giving him a firm pat on the shoulder. "I feel lucky to know you."
"Thank you." He had no other words.
When Ben and Leslie left, again, he still felt very alone. But he didn't feel quite so lost anymore. He had a purpose. He was a good man. And people would thank him for this, someday.
It was a scant comfort, but at a time like this, every little bit helped.
~ ~ ~
"This feels weird," said Leslie as she wrapped the final lock of her hair around the curling iron. She raised her voice so that Ben would hear her out in the bedroom, where he was adjusting his tie in the dresser mirror.
"What feels weird?" he called back.
Leslie hit her curls with a little hairspray before answering. "Getting ready for work, together."
She stepped into her bedroom, and Ben turned to meet her eyes with that boyish grin she'd grown so fond of. "I kind of like it," he said.
She smiled back. "I like it, too. But it still feels weird-just going to work again. Pretending that everything is still normal, when we both know it isn't."
Ben sighed, his smile falling a little. "I know the lying thing won't be easy for you. I'm sorry. But it's just for a few weeks. You'll manage ju-"
"I know, I know," she cut him off, waving her hands in front of her. "You don't need to remind me how soon you're leaving. I don't want to think about that, today. Okay?"
His lips were tight as he nodded in reply. "Okay."
Naturally, all day long Leslie couldn't think about anything else. Ben was leaving in just over two weeks.
Flying the coop. Gone. Across country, tucked away in a "safe house," and forbidden any contact with the outside world.
Yet, here they were at work. Acting as if it was just another normal day.
Leslie had never been one to resent the routine tasks of her job. On the contrary, she relished them. Every report written or read, every phone call, every planning meeting, it all added up to a wonderful whole that made her city so much better. She was proud of that daily grind.
But right now it actually felt insignificant.
On the other side of the building was a man she cared about very much, who was leaving in two weeks, and who she might never see again. How could she possibly focus on normal work when she needed to squeeze in every possible moment with him? It didn't seem right.
By ten a.m. she already couldn't stand it. She texted him to meet her in ten minutes in one of the conference rooms, and when he showed up she locked the door, pulled him into the corner and attacked his face with her lips.
After a few minutes of serious making out, he pulled back for air. "Not that I mind all this, but, uh, we probably shouldn't get caught. The reporting chain is a little murky, but there's a chance you could get some sort of official reprimand for this, and I don't want to leave you with any kind of trouble . . ."
"Ugh. Just shut up." She pulled him back in for more making out, clinging to him even more tightly. Why did he have to be so reasonable and practical? The rational part of her brain tried to remind her that he'd had a year to get used to the expectation that his life wasn't his own anymore, and that his future depended entirely upon the results of the trial and any subsequent appeals. But she hadn't, damn it! And her irrational brain wasn't ready to stop fighting, yet.
Eventually she slowed things down, settling into a tight hug. She leaned her head and against his shoulder and tried to relish the feeling of his arms around her.
So little time . . .
"I'm meeting Ann for lunch in two hours," she murmured.
"I remember."
"I have to tell her about us. I have to start lying."
He ran his hand over her hair and held her a little tighter with his other arm. "I know. Do you need to practice again-or do you think you've got it covered?"
"I don't need to practice. But I still hate it." It gnawed at her. Ann could be trusted. Leslie knew she could be. But it wasn't her secret to share.
"I know you do. I'm sorry."
"It's okay." She sighed. "I'll be okay." But would Ann? Once the truth finally came out, would Ann be able to forgive her?
"Hey," said Ben, "can I take you out on a date tonight? A real one? We haven't been on a real date, yet."
She tipped her head to smile up at him. He tried so hard to make things normal and right and good. It made her heart glad. "Yeah. I'd like that."
"Great. Dress up. I'll take you to a nice restaurant." His eyes sparkled with excitement. "Pick you up at seven?"
"Seven sounds perfect."
Leslie forced herself to get back to work until her lunch. She wasn't sure which was worse-Ben leaving, or having to lie to Ann for the next two and a half weeks.
It was pretty much a toss-up.
Ann reacted to the news much as Leslie expected.
"I still think this is a mistake," Ann said, shaking her head and jabbing at her salad with a fork. "Long distance is hard, and I'm scared you're just going to get hurt."
Leslie took a deep breath. "You're probably right. It probably is a mistake, and I probably will get hurt. But it's my mistake to make. And, with the slight chance that this really will work out and Ben and I really can make it," she shook her head, "to me, it's worth the risk. I really care about him, and I think it's worth the risk."
Ann bit her bottom lip, her eyes still troubled, but she reached out to grasp Leslie's hand. "If that's how you really feel, then I'll stand by you. Always. But it's not going to stop me from worrying."
Leslie smiled. Keeping up the lies wouldn't be easy, but moments like this made her think that in the end, Ann would understand. When all was said and done, they'd be able to make things right. Because that's what best friends did. "I'm glad you worry. Thank you for worrying."
Ann smiled. "That's my job."
And that's why she was the most perfect and beautiful best friend in the world.
Leslie only managed to see Ben for a few minutes that afternoon, and her eagerness for their date grew by the hour. It didn't matter if she'd spent an entire day and a half with him over the weekend-it would never be enough.
She made it home by six and spent the next hour primping-freshening up her make-up, pinning up her hair, and changing into a pretty plum-colored dress that she hadn't had occasion to wear in a good long time.
Though Leslie wasn't a big fan of first dates, she'd always enjoyed subsequent dates. Going out with actual boyfriends rather than mere prospects. The food-the atmosphere-the conversation-it was always something she looked forward to. For a short while she let herself imagine that this was just a normal date with an awesome and adorable new boyfriend. But as seven o'clock drew closer, the harsh reality began to worm its way back to the forefront of her mind.
She wanted Ben so much. He fit so perfectly into her life in so many ways. Crap. Here come the tears again.
No. No no no. She was going to be happy for these two weeks, damn it! Happy!
She managed to rein in her emotions until she heard the doorbell ring. She rushed to the front door and grinned in delight when she opened it to see Ben dressed in his nicest suit, bearing a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
God, she wanted him so much.
She took a few deep breaths to steady herself. "They're lovely! Thank you so much," she said, taking the flowers and navigating the clutter on the way to her kitchen to pop them in a vase. As soon as she had them in water, she turned back to the handsome man with the wonderful smile standing there, staring at her with adoring eyes.
Dinner could wait.
She attacked his face again. He didn't seem to mind. Until she started tugging at his belt.
"Whoa," he inched back from her. "Don't you want to wait until after we go out?"
"No. Absolutely not."
He raised his eyebrows, looking a bit disbelieving, but still willing. "Okay, then."
It didn't take long for her to get him back into the front room and down on her couch. Minus the pants, of course.
She kicked off her panties and straddled his lap, sinking down with a long sigh of relief. This was exactly what she'd been needing all day long.
As they moved together, Leslie tried to savor every moment-to memorize each sensation as it came. She'd already been so keyed up that it didn't take her long to go over the edge, and Ben followed soon after. She slumped forward, leaning against him and wrapping herself around him to take in the last delicious waves of pleasure.
Was it possible to store up these feelings in some sort of memory-bank, so that in the long, empty year to come she could pull them out whenever she needed them?
Probably not, but she was determined to try.
After taking a few minutes to collect herself, she sat back up and said, "Okay. We can go to dinner now."
Ben started to chuckle. "Maybe we should get dressed first."
"Yeah. Good call."
~ ~ ~
The first few days of the new week passed in a surreal blur for Ben. He still dealt with the little details of putting together their final financial reports and plans for Pawnee, but in between work his day was interrupted with moments of sheer, dreamlike bliss.
Ten minute rendezvous with Leslie in quite meeting rooms for some secret making out. Holding her hand under the table at lunch. Entwining his body with hers before sleeping every night and first thing upon waking every morning. And the quiet moments in the evenings, where they laughed over dinner or snuggled on her bed while watching TV.
It was perfect.
And he tried with all his might to push back any thoughts of how fleeting it would be.
If only … If only …
Thursday morning as he sat at his desk working on the long-term plan for Public Works, he got a call on his cell from Agent Burdette.
"Yeah?" he said, answering.
"Hey, we need to talk to you guys about our plans for the future. Can we meet this evening? Your place at six-thirty?"
Ben closed his eyes and tried to banish the implications of the word "future" from his thoughts. "Yeah. Sure. I'll talk to Chris. We don't have any fixed plans."
"Okay. See you tonight."
When he broke the news to Leslie less than an hour later, she looked momentarily stunned-as if she had been pinched.
She blinked a few times. "Oh. So-what do think she needs to talk about?"
Ben sighed. He knew that the more they talked about this, the worse they would both feel. "You know. The packing up. The moving. What to do with the stuff we want to keep. The exact schedule. That sort of thing."
"Yep. Okay. Yeah." Leslie nodded slowly. "I guess you do have to work out the logistics. That makes sense. So . . . I guess I won't see you tonight?"
The resigned tone in her voice made his heart ache. "It probably won't take all night. I can call you when they're gone. If-if you want?"
Leslie's eyes flitted up to meet his gaze, and then turned down again. "Yes. Go ahead. Call me when they leave. Maybe we can still . . .?" She shook her head and shrugged.
"Yeah. Maybe."
The dread of facing a long discussion of the very future he didn't want to think about dragged Ben down for the rest of the day, just like those stupid ankle weights Chris gave him for his last birthday.
The last thing he wanted to deal with right now was the harsh reality of just how soon he'd be leaving the town he'd started to think of as "home," and the woman he'd learned to love.
Would he and Chris ever stop being fate's punching bag? Would they ever have the chance to be truly happy again? At times, Ben seriously doubted it.
Which was why the marshals' news caught him so off guard.
"The trial's been delayed, again," said Agent Lewis, sitting across from him in the living room.
Ben blinked in surprise, and he heard Chris drawing in a long, slow breath beside him.
"I-what does that mean?" said Chris. "For us?"
"It means you don't need to be in Atlanta until just before the new trial date, which is in the first week of March," replied Agent Burdette.
"So we can stay?" The words burst from Ben's lips as soon as the thought entered his brain, and he felt immediately self-conscious about how much he'd sounded like a kid being told he could eat all his Halloween candy in one night.
Agent Burdette raised an eyebrow and the corners of her lips quirked up slightly. "That is one of the possibilities, yes."
Chris cleared his throat. "Don't be hasty, Ben. Let's hear all our options before making a decision."
The hard edge in Chris's voice gave Ben pause. "Uh-yes. Yes. Let's hear it all. Okay."
Burdette looked back and forth between the two of them before nodding briefly and continuing. "The first option is staying here. We've covertly contacted your landlady, and she hasn't leased the condo to anyone else, yet. You can probably re-up your lease and spread the word that your Atlanta job fell through. It would be easy to change your cover story to say that you're staying here while you look for new work. The problem with that is that I don't know if you'd be able to maintain that cover for the entire three month extension without actually looking for work."
"Which isn't out of the question," broke in Lewis. "It just complicates things."
Ben nodded. Complications. Always more complications. But the chance to stay-three more months!-was more than worth it. Wasn't it? "What are the other options?"
"We can get you new cover identities and move you out again," replied Lewis.
"Or we can stick you back in a safe-house somewhere, and keep you on what amounts to house arrest. You've done that routine already. You know the drill." Burdette spoke with a tone of finality.
"And that's it?" Ben asked.
Lewis nodded. "That's it."
There was no contest. None whatsoever. They got to stay.
A new lightness filled Ben's chest.
It felt like the first day of summer break from school.
Until Chris spoke again.
"I don't think either of us would agree to another safe-house," he said. "But another relocation might be in our best interest."
"Wait-what?" Chris couldn't be serious.
Chris held up a hand. "I think we need to discuss this before we make a final decision." He looked back at the marshals. "How long do we have to decide?"
"Until Sunday night. We'll need all of next week to put together new cover identities together if that's what you decide," replied Burdette.
Ben frowned, but held his tongue. He'd trampled all over Chris's wishes for months now. He could give him a real discussion. He could give him a day or two. Ben owed him that much.
"Okay," said Chris. "We'll call you before the end of the weekend to let you know. Is that everything?"
Lewis nodded. "That covers it."
They said their goodbyes and sent the marshals on their way back to Indy.
Once the door was closed, Ben turned to Chris. "Okay. So-explain to me why we need to talk about this before making up our minds?"
"You're thinking with your heart instead of your mind," replied Chris, striding back to an armchair in the living room and sitting down.
Ben raked a hand through his hair and stood in the middle of the room, too restless to sit down. "What's wrong with that? I-I don't see how staying here would be bad, or not smart, or not safe, or-or anything else."
"You know the longer we stay in one place, the greater the possibility that evidence of our being here will make its way back to Everson."
"Our cover here is solid," Ben insisted.
"But will it always be?" Chris replied. "With every change to our story, the more cracks there will be. And a fake job hunt will expose us to more scrutiny, and more gossip."
Ben shifted back and forth on his feet. Okay. So, Chris had a point. But still- "The chances of word getting back to Everson are miniscule."
"Slightly less miniscule the longer we stay."
"Only slightly," said Ben, holding his thumb and pointer finger less than a centimeter apart.
They held each other's gaze for a moment. "Are you really that miserable here?" Ben finally asked.
Chris's eyes flicked down. "I'll be miserable anywhere. At least, until this trial is finally over."
"So why not stay? You have friends here. Really-you do."
"I know." Chris nodded slowly. "I do. But I worry-" He hesitated.
Ben frowned. "What do you worry?"
Chris met his eyes. "Does Leslie know you're in love with her?"
"I-" Ben stammered, surprised by the question. "I-I haven't told her, yet. I feel like it's . . . premature."
"Does she love you?" Chris asked.
Ben swallowed hard and sank into the nearest armchair. "I-No. I think she could, if we had enough time. But right now-right now that's not what we have. This is just-I-I think it's just her way of saying goodbye to what might have been."
Admitting the truth out loud hurt. Not that saying it out loud made it any truer than it had been when he'd merely thought it. But saying it-admitting it-gave it a sharper edge. And it cut.
Chris nodded. "That's what I thought. So, by staying here for three more months you hope to-what? Make her fall in love with you, and fall even deeper yourself while you're at it? What good will that do either of you? The trial will still come, and you'll still be cut off from each other for a year or longer. Do you really expect her to wait all that time, hoping you'll finally be free to come back? Wasting the prime of her life waiting for something that might never happen? Is that really what you want for her?"
Chris's words stabbed into Ben's already open wound.
Damn it.
"Is it what you want?" Chris repeated.
"Of course it's not," snapped Ben. He wanted to throw something. To scream at the heavens. To curse whatever it was that decided this would be his lot in life. He softened his voice. "Of course it's not."
He put his elbows on his knees and rested his head in his hands. "I don't want to leave."
"I know," replied Chris with sympathy in his voice.
Ben took a few breaths. "Can I have a day or two to think this over?" He raised his eyes to meet Chris's gaze.
Chris nodded. "Sure. And-I'm going to let you make this call. If you decide to stay, I'll support you. If you decide to go, I'll back you on that, too. This one is your choice to make."
Ben clenched his teeth together and nodded.
So much for his perfect week.
TBC
chapter 19