So I spent tonight at work attempting not to not eat 12lbs of fudge. I got on the scale tonight I am down 1 lb but I think this might be the start of retaining water


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soooooo I'm back on the losing weight ball today. I worked out real hard for the first time in like...a month anyways. Half the times I did work out it was a very feeble attempt at working out...i just sorta made it around the two times just to satisfy the fact that I "did it ( Read more... )

I don't want to save this, I don't want to have to be doing this, I don't want to be feeling like this, but part of having this is being honest with myself to try to get through it ( Read more... )

so last night I had a dream with John in it, I was upset in my dream but when I woke up I wasn't upset. I don't know if like, that just had to happen to spite me or if because I told Patti the mini-saga last night when i drove her home from work or because of the crazy situation Kim is going through....or what. In any case though, it happend, and ( Read more... )

actions do speak louder than words and for some reason I am hearing them, and I've come to realize that my relationship with John is over and that part of my life is over. My meltdown after seeing short bus (the realization that I'm so caught up about John is he has been the only guy in my life who made me feel like I should be the person that I ( Read more... )

You know those nights where you are so interested in being entertained but everyone seems boring, but you know it is only because you yourself are being boring. I'm having one of those nights, and I'm feeling lonely again...badly ( Read more... )

I played guitar hero with Girl, we are both at the same (bad) skill level, so we went back and played the first game. We tried to play Killer Queen on medium, in honor of Nate. It was funny, I suck. But I did get MUCH better at the game ( Read more... )

today, turned out to be pretty fun. I sat around for a while feeling bad for myself...then I got up and went to deliver toys for Alyssa, then I went to petco and enjoyed myself greatly picking out attachments for squishys cage, we are giving it to dad for Christmas. There was a really cute boy that works there, I wanted to give him a card and say " ( Read more... )

So I went to the guys house yesterday, Lehrmen has arrived. So Matthew was up to, it was fun, but it was a little strange to be back in Tim's room, but it's not Tim's, on a totally different level of strange going into Steve's old room, because I spent a lot more time in there ( Read more... )

so I did clean the basement, but I didn't get to bring Toni to Buffalo. I ended up having to do the living room that day. It took a really long time and I snapped at my mother unnecessarily so many times. I knew even as I was doing it, that i felt bad but I was so angry and frusterated about having to get rid of so much stuff. It's so hard for me, ( Read more... )