The Scattered Stars Effect part three
Pairing: HimUp
Rated: PG13
Length: 6.2K
Part Two
Main Song
“You said over the phone that you’re working on a new project.” Himchan handed over a newly washed cup so that Jongup could dry it. “Can I see it?”
Jongup paused on the way to placing the cup back into the cabinet. “Not yet.” He finally answered. “I’m not quite sure about it yet.”
“You artists are fickle creatures.” A plate was passed to the side. “Hayoung throws her whole body over her pictures if I walk in on her.”
She had also threatened to put his toothbrush into the toilet if he did it again, but that was something he preferred not to dwell upon.
“Sometimes showing other people my paintings makes me feel naked. I don’t really like too much attention thrown my way.” He pressed against Himchan’s back as he leaned over his shoulder to grab another dish towel. What would have a month ago made him flinch in awkwardness was reacted to with patience and a soft feeling low in his belly. “Once I finish it then you can see it. Right now it’s just a mess of paint.”
Hayoung hummed happily to herself from the living room where she was watching a movie Jongup had rented for her earlier. The DVD was one she had watched a thousand times at home so she was able to sing along and Himchan knew they wouldn’t see her for the rest of the evening.
“Do you sell your paintings?” He finished up in the sink and unrolled his cuffs so that his sleeves were straight again. “Or do you work somewhere else for money?”
“I don’t really want to sell them.” Jongup leaned against the kitchen counter and crossed his arms. “No one would want them anyways.”
“Of course they would. I can tell they’re amazing and I don’t know a single thing about art.”
Jongup shrugged and Himchan could tell the conversation was over. Whatever bothered him about his art it was obvious Jongup didn’t like to talk about it.
“So where are you from?” He tried to change the subject to something neutral. “Have you always lived in the city?”
This was another subject that made put Jongup on edge as he winced before covering it up with a normal expression. “No, just for a few months. I’ve lived all over.”
The awkwardness was made more so by the fact that Himchan didn’t know exactly what he was supposed to ask that Jongup wouldn’t become offended by. Thankfully Jongup took the initiative and took over the conversation.
“Hayoung’s pretty amazing.” He peered around the corner and smiled at her as she silently mouthed the words to the cartoon. “I love kids. When I was younger I thought about being an art teacher for a primary school.”
“She’s a handful.” Himchan watched the way Jongup’s eyes dimmed the longer he watched Hayoung. The more he looked at her the more morose he grew. “Her favorite pastime is testing my patience.”
Jongup looked back over his shoulder with a grin. “That doesn’t seem like it would be too difficult.”
He stepped up beside Jongup, so close that their arms rubbed together but Himchan didn’t seem to notice and Jongup never moved away.
“Sometimes I think she acts out because it’s just me and her and she knows I could never be angry for too long with her.” Himchan wished for the millionth time that she had been with her mother for just a few more years, just long enough to know that there was someone who loved her and nurtured her. “So she pushes my buttons because of it.”
“Does she never see her mother?” Jongup looked at him with innocent eyes and Himchan didn’t want to see the guilt the question would make Jongup feel when he told him the truth.
He shook his head. “Not for three years.” His throat felt scratchy and he had to clear it before he could continue. Hayoung laughed at something on the screen and didn’t even realize she was being talked about. “My wife passed away three years ago.”
“Oh.” Jongup blinked uncertainly for a few seconds. “Oh. Wow. That’s… I’m sorry Himchan. I would never have asked if-“
“It’s okay. You didn’t know. It’s been a while so I won’t have a nervous breakdown if someone mentions it or anything.” Himchan gratefully accepted the hand that slid into his own, smaller fingers finding their way between his longer ones. “She was killed in a robbery at the bank she worked at.”
Jongup let out a deep breath, his eyes widening at the sudden news. “That’s awful, Himchan. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. And poor Hayoung… Does she remember her mother?”
Sometimes he thought she could. Little things like a melody hummed under her breath that he had never sung before, or always lining up her dolls in order by color because that was the way her mother had done it and somehow she remembered. “I don’t know. If she does it’s just barely.”
“And your mother helps you, right? That’s good that she has a female in her life even if it’s not her own mother.” Jongup’s thumb was rubbing a loop around the base of his thumb and it was driving Himchan to the point of insanity because it was impossible how comforted one tiny touch could make him fell. “Poor little girl.”
The glasses of wine in his belly made him feel sticky and thick. One beer a night wasn’t comparable to the heady drinks Jongup kept handing off to him. He blinked heavily and wondered when he got to be such a lightweight. He was only halfway through his twenties and he had rent due every month, a job that made him feel soulless and a daughter that depended on him for every single need she possibly had. Sometimes he wondered what his life would have been like if he had went through his earlier years like a regular teenager and partied till the sun came up and dated every girl that came his way.
Maybe then he wouldn’t be exhausted at eight at night and slightly tipsy after four regular sized glasses of wine.
“You don’t hold your alcohol very well.” Jongup laughed to himself as the man next to him leaned into his arm. “That’s cute.”
“That and I worked for ten hours, came home and took Hayoung to ballet class then had enough time to give her a bath before coming here.” He yawned, too tired to even consider covering his mouth in politeness. “Being an adult is hard.”
Jongup tugged him towards the couch, waving wildly to Hayoung as they passed her in the floor. “Come relax while she finishes her movie. She’s having a good time, don’t make her leave yet.” He pulled Himchan down next to him, careful to leave a small space between them. “I’ve never had anyone over before so I don’t want you two to go.”
He sunk into the plushy material, surprised that Jongup had a couch this nice when his apartment was the size of a shoebox. When Himchan had been married his wife’s family were wealthy and so he knew nice furniture when he was on it. And this was nice. This was expensive.
“I like it here.” His head fit perfectly on the cushion behind him and when Jongup propped his feet onto the coffee table Himchan took it upon himself to do the same. He was so comfortable he wasn’t sure if he could ever leave. “It’s nice.”
“Then stay.” Jongup didn’t look at him as he casually threw the words out. His gaze was on the movie Hayoung was watching, but his fingers were tapping nervously onto his pant leg. “I’d like the company.” He finally turned his gaze towards Himchan and gave him the first of many slow, easy smiles that Himchan would come to associate with sleepy Jongup. The smile that right now just made him want to give one back in return but would eventually bring to mind a bare chest and stretching muscles and a gentle ‘goodnight’ whispered in Hayoung’s ear as Jongup pulled blankets over her sleeping form.
“Okay.” Himchan murmured back, losing his train of thought for the smallest of moments. “For just a little while longer.”
---
The next thing he knew it was morning and Hayoung was screaming for pancakes from somewhere nearby. Himchan slowly opened his eyes and looked around in confusion at the unfamiliar ceiling and way too soft to be belong to him blanket covering his chest.
“Hayoung?” The newness of the day meant his voice was raw and dry and he had to clear it to speak louder. “Hayoung?”
“Jongup’s making pancakes, daddy!” She ran into the room in a t-shirt that hung to her knees and jumped up onto his chest making him let out an oomph of pain. “He said I couldn’t wake you up but I was so excited that I couldn’t stop the happy cheers. Is that okay? Am I in trouble?”
He sat up to rub his temples, was his hairline this far back yesterday, and look around at the room so that he could regain his senses. “What time is it?”
“Six-thirty.” Jongup appeared at the door with a grin and a bowl of mix in his arms. “I washed Hayoung’s uniform so it should be done before you leave. She said her backpack was at home so I started breakfast early enough to give you time to make it there and to school. Do you like sausage or bacon?”
“Bacon!” Hayoung screeched, running back into the kitchen.
The sound of bacon sizzling in the skillet and the quiet murmurs of Jongup and Hayoung brought Himchan off of the couch, arms reaching above him to stretch out the kinks. He ran his hands down his ruffled suit and wished he hadn’t gone to sleep without brushing his teeth. He wished he hadn’t of gone to sleep at all actually. Jongup probably thought he was a creep.
“Bathroom’s that way.” Jongup popped his head into the room and pointed to the door behind him as if he knew what Himchan was thinking. “You can wash up while we finish up in here. My toothbrush is in the cabinet if you want to use it.”
He washed his hands and splashed cold water on his cheeks, but couldn’t quite bring himself to use someone else’s toothbrush. That could just wait until they ate and ran home. Work started in an hour but if he was late it would be okay because their boss never showed up until well past nine anyways. Yongguk would cover for him.
The pancakes were mushy in the center and burnt on the edges but when Hayoung shyly asked how he liked them while she brushed flour off of her cheeks he told her honestly that they were the best thing he’d eve ate. “Did you make these for daddy?”
She nodded, looking up towards Jongup for confirmation.
“Hayoung cracked the eggs and poured the mix onto the griddle.” Jongup placed an extra slice of bacon onto her plate. “You get more than everyone else because you did the most work.”
The food disappeared just as quickly as it was cooked and before Himchan knew it they were at the door with a teary Hayoung refusing to tell Jongup goodbye.
“We’ll see each other again, sweetheart.” He crouched down to his ankles and brushed her hair out of her face so he could see her teary eyes. “Anytime you want me you know where to find me, okay?”
Himchan picked her up into his arms and shushed her gently as she hiccupped back tears against his neck. “She likes you. I’m sorry, she doesn’t have many people around her so she gets attached too easily.”
Jongup rubbed a hand through her hair and across her back. “What color did you say you wanted to use next time? We have to make an appointment for our next painting date.”
Her face peeked out from under her bangs as she sniffed. “Purple.”
The suitcase Himchan had seen Jongup carry that held all of his equipment was packed to the table and propped open. “Let’s see, I think I have some purple in here somewhere.” He exaggeratedly hummed and sighed as he searched. “I must have used it all. What will we do now?”
Hayoung gasped in horror at his words. “Oh no! No purple?” She shook Himchan’s shoulder with growing anxiety. “We have to go buy purple paint, daddy!”
Jongup held a finger up to get her attention. “Wait! What if we made purple instead?” At her confused look he held up a red tube of paint. “Do you remember when we mixed white into the pink to make a lighter color?” When she nodded he grabbed a blue tube and held the two together. “Well if we add two of any color together it makes a whole new color. Did you know red and blue make purple?”
“What?” She turned her shocked eyes up towards Himchan’s. “Did you know that?”
He laughed and nodded his head. “I’m going to completely blow your mind and tell you that red and yellow also make orange.”
“That’s advanced color techniques from someone who claims not to know anything about art.” Jongup placed the tubes back into his suitcase and cocked his head to the side in thought. “I don’t know when I’ll be back at the bakery though, I’m sorry. I’ve been working on a new painting and once I get my mind set on a piece I can’t stop until I’ve finished or something else has distracted me.”
“Then you’ll have to come over to our apartment again.” Himchan surprised even himself with the sudden invitation. “Tomorrow? I might have to work late tonight since I won’t get there on time. But tomorrow Hayoung has dance class so I always get out on time. Seven?”
“Ballet and dance in the same week?” He held the door open so that Himchan could hold onto her. “You’re an artist, too.”
She grinned excitedly over Himchan’s shoulder as he carried her down the hall. “I have a show next month! Will you come watch me?”
Jongup waved goodbye when they had reached the stairs. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
---
There came a point where Himchan realized he didn’t even have to ask Jongup over anymore. It became a habit, a routine that he didn’t even realize had become a routine until one night Jongup didn’t show up for dinner at the same time he always did. Himchan stared at the extra plate set on the table and wondered if maybe Jongup had forgotten. Or what if he had made plans with someone else and just didn’t even think to call them?
“Where’s Jongup at, daddy?” Hayoung sat her favorite doll of the month at the fourth seat and pushed him up to his own plate that she insisted be set out. “We’re almost done with our book and he promised to finish it tonight.”
Himchan hesitated on calling him because he would be mortified if he made a big deal out of Jongup missing dinner when it had meant nothing to him this whole time. But it could also be an emergency and Jongup needed help and would appreciate the call.
“I don’t know sweetheart.” He picked at the lid to the takeout box. They never removed the lids until everyone was at the table because it kept the food hot. Jongup had mentioned once that he liked Indian food but had never found a decent restaurant so Himchan had searched one out just for him. This meal had Jongup’s name written all over it and he wasn’t even there to enjoy it. “Maybe he forgot?”
“He didn’t forget.” His daughter looked at him like he was the stupidest creature she had ever laid eyes on and maybe he was. “He told me that seeing us is his favorite part of the day.”
He glanced at the cell phone on the table in front of him. “Should we call him?”
She nodded. “Tell him he has to finish our book. He promised.”
With a sigh he pulled Jongup’s contact info up on his phone and pushed the button to connect.
“Hello?”
“Are you not coming to eat tonight?”
Jongup was silent for a moment then Himchan heard a muffled curse. “I didn’t even realize it was dinner time. I’m so sorry, Himchan. This painting I’ve been working on for weeks is maybe finally done and I lost track of time. Is Hayoung mad?”
“She doesn’t look very pleased with you for the first time ever.”
He was relieved Jongup didn’t have other plans to eat with someone else. Dinner time was their time, just the three of them, and Himchan loved how relaxed and calm Jongup being in the apartment made him feel.
“Tell her I’m on my way and that we’ll finish her book and start a new one tonight, okay?” Jongup sounded out of breath as he rushed around trying to pack up. “I really honestly just got distracted. Painting does that to me when I’m working on something important. I’m leaving now, I’ll be there ASAP.” The phone clicked in his ear telling him Jongup had hung up and was hurrying out the door.
He turned back to his daughter who was staring anxiously at him, her bottom lip sucked in between her teeth. “He’ll be here in just a little bit, okay? Do you want to go ahead and eat without him?”
Hayoung stared hungrily at the boxes in front of her and Himchan could see her little mind whirling through the decision.
“Jongup won’t mind. Go ahead and start eating and by the time you’re done he’ll be here ready to read to you.”
She didn’t need much more encouragement than that, clapping happily as Himchan spooned out the curry and handed her a piece of naan. “This food tastes weird.” Her nose crinkled as she chewed the unfamiliar flavors. “But I like it.”
Himchan wanted to wait for Jongup to show up because he enjoyed eating together and having someone to talk to but if he didn’t get there soon there wasn’t going to be any food left by the way Hayoung was shoveling it in. “Slow down Hayoung. You don’t want to go to bed with a belly ache.”
“Yes I do.” She shoved the rest of her bread into her mouth and held her hand out for another one. “School food is gross. I don’t like it.”
“I can always pack you a lunch.” His daughter stopped with her juice box halfway to her mouth and raised an eyebrow at him the same way her mother used to do. “How was I supposed to know that your school was peanut-free? That kid could have gotten ahold of peanut butter anywhere and besides he turned out okay.”
“He missed three days of school and came back looking like a fat tomato.”
He waved her off. “Whatever.”
The sound of the elevator dinging in the hall had Hayoung jumping out of her seat and racing towards the door with the naan hanging out of her mouth. “Is it Jongup? Is it, daddy?”
“I doubt it. He has to be buzzed-“ The knocking on their door cut him off.
“Hi!” Jongup was red-cheeked and grinning from ear to ear when Himchan opened the door for him. He held an oversized square covered in parchment paper in his arms. “Someone was coming out when I got here so they held the door open for me. I’m sorry I’m late, are you mad at me?” He leaned down to receive Hayoung’s kiss on his cheek. “Have you already picked out a new chapter book to start?”
She nodded as she swiped the back of her palm over her sticky lips. “Uh-huh! It’s a princess book!” Her eyes stayed on the package in his arms. “Did you bring me a present?”
He kicked his shoes off and placed the square against the wall. “Not this time baby. This one’s for your daddy. But tomorrow after school you’ll have to come back to the bakery and help me work on the mural again. I bought new paints this morning and I can’t do it without my best helper.”
Himchan grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the bathroom. She was covered in crumbs and sauce and he had a very good hunch that there was a smashed bag of potato chips in the pocket of her dress. “You need a bath before you play with Jongup.”
Jongup was waiting for him at the table when he came back, his arms and shirt wet from Hayoung splashing at him the moment he got her in the tub.
“You bought Indian food?” Jongup blinked at him quizzically. “What for?”
“Last week you said you liked it.” Had he heard him wrong? “I thought you did… Did I mishear?”
“No, no.” Jongup smiled at him and it made Himchan do the same in return. He could never see Jongup’s happy expression and not want to mirror it at back at him because his joy was contagious. “I love Indian food. I didn’t know you had heard me.” His gaze lowered and he laughed as he saw Himchan’s dripping clothes. “She got you good.”
He tugged the blue shirt out of his work pants and worked on unbuttoning the buttons as he headed towards his room. “One day she’ll have kids of her own and I’m going to laugh when they make her life hell.” He threw the shirt into the hamper and dug through the dresser for a t-shirt. “Go ahead and eat. I’ll be out in a minute.”
“I’ll wait.” Jongup’s closer than anticipated voice surprised him. He looked over his shoulder at the man leaning against his bedroom door. “You know your work shirts have to be washed separately or they start to shrink, right?” He stepped past Himchan to grab the shirt out of the hamper. “Seriously Himchan, what would you do without me?”
“Probably go to work in my pajamas.”
Jongup laughed as he got stuck trying to pull his head through the hole. “Or you’d die on your floor trying to get dressed.” He helped Himchan out of his shirt, eyes sweeping down across his chest when he wasn’t looking. “I’ll just… I’ll go make us plates.”
Himchan turned to tell him what he wanted but Jongup had already made a hasty retreat. “Okay?” He finished putting his t-shirt on and figured he might as well change out of his work pants, too. The belt was always cinched too tight and the pleats made him look like a middle-aged man.
“Are you ready?” He ignored Jongup’s snort at his sweat pants and grabbed his plate to head to the living room. “Let’s eat on the couch tonight. She’ll be in the bathroom for at least forty-five minutes.”
They sat comfortably together on the couch, not so close that Himchan felt awkward but close enough that their legs brushed together every time Himchan jiggled his foot.
“I hate it when you do that.” Jongup held his knee still with a frown on his lips. “You need to slow down on the coffee at work.”
“What makes you think that I-“ He stopped when Jongup squeezed his knee. “I only had three…” Jongup sighed and tilted his head. “Okay five. But we’ve been working on a big account and I needed the energy.”
“Then go to bed earlier.”
Himchan shook his head. “I can’t. I have to get Hayoung to school so we have to eat breakfast and then get her ready and she usually has homework from the night before we didn’t get to finish and I have to get her to school on time and then run across town for work. I’m usually up and fully ready by five-thirty.”
Jongup took a bite of his food, eyes trained thoughtfully on the plate. “I could help you. If you wanted.” He offered quietly. “I don’t work unless I feel like it so I’m always at home. You could go to work on time and I could get Hayoung to school. I’d even pick her up for you.”
Any other time a man volunteered to look after his daughter for him would raise Himchan’s alerts on high, but he had seen Jongup with Hayoung and had to trust his instincts that he genuinely cared for her. His mother always told him that children were the best judges of character and Hayoung had been nothing short of infatuated with the painter.
“I can’t ask you to do that, Jongup.” He would love an extra hour of sleep in the morning, to be honest. And letting his mother off the hook for picking her up on the days he couldn’t would be a big weight off his shoulders. He tried his hardest to get off work in time to pick her up at least twice a week but usually he was stuck in the office until at least five. Their days were so jam packed with schedules and routines that sometimes he felt like curling up under the covers and refusing to emerge.
“You didn’t ask. I volunteered.” Jongup grinned brightly at him. “Honestly Himchan, I enjoy spending time with her. She’s a great muse. She’s so loud and happy and makes me want to create a hundred paintings of her. We could go to the bakery and work on the mural together until you get home. It would make my day a million times more interesting.”
He bit his lip and stirred a piece of bread through the food aimlessly. “Okay.” He finally decided. “We can try it. But if it’s too much you can tell me. No hard feelings, alright?”
Jongup sat back on the couch and nodded happily. “You know I’m only doing this so that I can come over and watch your TV. Your cable bill is going to be through the roof next month so don’t be surprised.”
Himchan laughed because he knew for a fact that Jongup wasn’t a fan of television. He’d told him multiple times that he hadn’t had one for three years and didn’t miss it a bit. The only time he watched it contentedly was when he was sitting on the floor in front of Hayoung and letting her braid his hair while she watched cartoons.
“So in other words I need to invest in more ponytail holders and barrettes?”
“No. No, you need to throw all of them away. Burn them.” Jongup sat upright so quickly that Himchan jumped up next to him. “I almost forgot!” He laid his plate on the coffee table and ran towards the door where he had left the package sitting against the wall. “I brought you something.”
For the first time in the several months that Himchan had known him, Jongup actually looked frightened. He placed the square beside him on the couch and looked everywhere but at Himchan’s face.
“It’s not my birthday.” Himchan tried to crack a joke but Jongup was still turning more and more red. “Thank you, Jongup.”
“Don’t thank me until you open it.” Jongup muttered back weakly, wincing as Himchan carefully unwrapped the gift. “It’s okay if you don’t like it. I wasn’t sure what you would be into and you said you like the stars and the color blue so this just kind of appeared in my he-“
“Jongup.” Himchan quieted him with a warm hand on his arm. “Jongup, it’s beautiful.” He looked in shock at the painting Jongup had made for him, the hours and hours of intense concentration it must have taken, and he was awe-struck. “You did this for me?”
Jongup nodded, his own eyes glued to the hand still curled around his wrist. “I wanted you to have something of mine. You two share so much of yourself with me and I wanted to do the same.” He drew his gaze up the pale arm and faded green t-shirt to the eyes that were intently roving over the painting. “I like painting in circles. They take more time to make them look like something real and not just random blobs on a canvas.”
Himchan watched him as he explained why he painted the way he did. Why he chose each particular shade of blue. Why the stars could be lightening bugs or even the moon depending on how you looked at it. Words that Himchan could never hope to comprehend because he wasn’t an artist and he didn’t see things like Jongup did. But it didn’t matter because he knew the painting was the most beautiful one he’d ever seen.
“What’s its name?” He whispered when Jongup had finally finished his explanation, all of the words jumbled in his head and easing down towards his heart. “You have to give it a name or Hayoung will and there’s no telling what she’ll call it.”
“Scattered Stars.” Jongup shrugged, the red on his neck slowly easing back into his hairline as he realized Himchan didn’t think it was strange that he had painted something for him. “Stupid, but I’m not smart enough for anything fancier.”
He thought Jongup was a lot smarter than he gave himself credit for but he could tell the other man didn’t want to make a big deal about it so he stayed quiet.
“Do you like it?”
Himchan smiled and nodded, squeezing Jongup’s wrist in gratitude. “It’s amazing, Jongup. Honestly. It’s probably the nicest present anyone’s ever gotten me.” He looked around the small room with his brows pulled together in thought. “Where should we put it? Wait. I don’t even have nails…”
Jongup laughed and Himchan watched as the tension melted out of his stiff shoulders. “You don’t have a toolkit or anything?”
“We have a Super who takes care of everything.” Himchan wrinkled his nose in embarrassment. “Having you over every night is starting to make me realize how bad of an adult I am. I can’t cook, I don’t have any tools, I-“
“Am the best father in the universe. And that’s really all you need.” Jongup finished for him. He carefully slipped his arm out of Himchan’s hold and grabbed the painting from his lap, taking it to Himchan’s bedroom and placing it away from anywhere Hayoung could get to it. “I’ll bring stuff tomorrow to hang it for you. You’d probably put a hole in the wall anyway.”
Himchan kicked playfully at him, yelping when Jongup grabbed his foot in midair and cinched his grip. “Alright, alright, you do all of the household chores and I bring home the paychecks. How does that sound?”
He got up to check on Hayoung in the bathroom, not noticing how the throwaway remark had made Jongup flinch.
“Jongup!” She ran out ten minutes later with dripping hair and a pajama dress of her favorite cartoon character on the front. “Daddy said you’re taking me to school tomorrow!” Screeching in excitement, she threw herself into Jongup’s lap and wrapped tiny arms around his neck.
“Only if you’re good tonight and go to bed when daddy tells you to.” Jongup warned her, raising a finger to tap her nose. “Where’s your towel? You’re going to need a new dress because this one’s soaked.”
Himchan came stumbling out of the bathroom with another wet t-shirt clinging to his chest. His arms dropped Hayoung’s forgotten towel and hairbrush onto the floor in front of them. “I need a vacation.”
Jongup rolled his eyes in amusement and pushed Himchan towards his room. “Go take a shower and I’ll take care of her hair. I do a better braid than you do anyways.”
“It’s true daddy, your braids always come undone in the middle of the night.” Hayoung told him earnestly as she settled in between Jongup’s knees and made a grab for the remote. “Can you do French braids? Mijung comes to school with really pretty hair and she said her mommy called them French braids.”
“I don’t think so baby. I’ll look them up when I get home later and see what they are though.”
Himchan watched them from the crack in his door and smiled as they happily watched the TV together and laughed over the same lines. She had asked him several times for different hairstyles but he had been too busy to try anything other than their standard braid and it made his shoulders feel lighter to know that now there was someone who could share the responsibilities with him.
He wondered as he got undressed and into the shower whether he was supposed to pay Jongup for his help.
---
When Jongup knocked on the door the next morning it was half past six and Himchan was trying his hardest to tie his tie and convince Hayoung to get out of bed at the same time.
“Thank God.” Himchan muttered, jerking Jongup into the house and squeezing his arm in gratitude. “She’s being a bear this morning and she likes you more than me so maybe you can get to her to wake up.”
Jongup laid the box of donuts he had brought on the table and slipped off his heavy bag that held a hammer and a box of nails. “She has time, don’t worry. Now come here.” He carefully tied Himchan’s tie and fixed his collar with a smile. “Perfect.”
Himchan looked at the clock and sighed. “I was hoping to get to work by seven so that I could get out early tonight but she still has to eat and g-“
“Go.” Jongup waved him off. “I’m going to put a donut under her nose and that will wake her up, I looked up directions to her school, I am now a master of three different types of braids and I had Mr. Lee at the bakery pack a lunch for her that we’ll pick up on the way.” He grinned at Himchan’s dumbfounded expression. “Everything will be fine here. Go to work so we can eat supper at a normal hour tonight. She might go to bed a lot easier if she doesn’t eat an hour before her bedtime.”
That was all Himchan needed to nod in agreement and rush out the door promising that he would be home by four.
Turning towards Hayoung’s door, Jongup grabbed a donut and stood in the doorway watching her covers rustle.
“This sure is delicious.” He said happily, taking a bite. “It would be even better if my best girl was up to eat breakfast with me.” Sighing, he took another bite and pouted. “But I guess since she won’t wake up then I’ll have to eat them all myself.”
“No!” Hayoung jumped up onto her mattress and shrieked. “I want one!”
Jongup waved the donut at her and made her follow him out of the bedroom first. “You have to wash your hands as soon as you’re done. No sticky fingers all over the table. I cleaned it last night before I left and I don’t want to do it again until supper.”
She mumbled a reply around a mouthful of jelly and dough.
“Is all of your homework done?” At her sheepish shrug, he grabbed her butterfly backpack off the chair and pulled her school folder out. “You were supposed to do a matching sheet and a writing practice page. You can have one more donut while I get your uniform out then its teeth brushing and homework.”
Hayoung grumbled, spitting crumbs across the table, much to Jongup’s displeasure. He muttered something about her being lucky she was cute as he wiped the table clean.
“What about my hair?” She grabbed his arm and swung it around in excitement. “What are you going to do with my hair today?”
“I think I’m going to shave it.” When she gasped in horror he laughed and picked her up to carry her to the bathroom. “I’m teasing. Brush your teeth and I’ll do your hair while you work on your homework. But tonight we’re doing it before supper. No homework finished means no TV.”
She slumped her shoulders angrily. “You’re supposed to be nicer than daddy is.”
“No one’s nicer than daddy is.” Jongup told her, tickling her ribs. “He’s the best.”
After she had finished in the bathroom and put on the uniform he had hung from the door she raced out with her hairbrush and plastic box full of hair bows and ponytail holders.
“Jongup? Are you going to move in with us?”
Jongup stopped mid-braid and looked down at her with surprise. “What makes you ask that?”
“You’re here until I go to bed. And now you’re going to be here when I wake up. Does that mean you’re going to live here?”
He chewed on the corner of his cheek and thought about the way Himchan had brushed his fingers across his knuckles as he left, smiling so wide that the dimple under his cheek was visible as the door started to close behind him.
And then remembered that Himchan had once loved a woman so much that they had married and had a child.
“No sweetheart. I don’t think so.”
*Jongup's painting*
part four
Rated: PG13
Length: 6.2K
Part Two
Main Song
“You said over the phone that you’re working on a new project.” Himchan handed over a newly washed cup so that Jongup could dry it. “Can I see it?”
Jongup paused on the way to placing the cup back into the cabinet. “Not yet.” He finally answered. “I’m not quite sure about it yet.”
“You artists are fickle creatures.” A plate was passed to the side. “Hayoung throws her whole body over her pictures if I walk in on her.”
She had also threatened to put his toothbrush into the toilet if he did it again, but that was something he preferred not to dwell upon.
“Sometimes showing other people my paintings makes me feel naked. I don’t really like too much attention thrown my way.” He pressed against Himchan’s back as he leaned over his shoulder to grab another dish towel. What would have a month ago made him flinch in awkwardness was reacted to with patience and a soft feeling low in his belly. “Once I finish it then you can see it. Right now it’s just a mess of paint.”
Hayoung hummed happily to herself from the living room where she was watching a movie Jongup had rented for her earlier. The DVD was one she had watched a thousand times at home so she was able to sing along and Himchan knew they wouldn’t see her for the rest of the evening.
“Do you sell your paintings?” He finished up in the sink and unrolled his cuffs so that his sleeves were straight again. “Or do you work somewhere else for money?”
“I don’t really want to sell them.” Jongup leaned against the kitchen counter and crossed his arms. “No one would want them anyways.”
“Of course they would. I can tell they’re amazing and I don’t know a single thing about art.”
Jongup shrugged and Himchan could tell the conversation was over. Whatever bothered him about his art it was obvious Jongup didn’t like to talk about it.
“So where are you from?” He tried to change the subject to something neutral. “Have you always lived in the city?”
This was another subject that made put Jongup on edge as he winced before covering it up with a normal expression. “No, just for a few months. I’ve lived all over.”
The awkwardness was made more so by the fact that Himchan didn’t know exactly what he was supposed to ask that Jongup wouldn’t become offended by. Thankfully Jongup took the initiative and took over the conversation.
“Hayoung’s pretty amazing.” He peered around the corner and smiled at her as she silently mouthed the words to the cartoon. “I love kids. When I was younger I thought about being an art teacher for a primary school.”
“She’s a handful.” Himchan watched the way Jongup’s eyes dimmed the longer he watched Hayoung. The more he looked at her the more morose he grew. “Her favorite pastime is testing my patience.”
Jongup looked back over his shoulder with a grin. “That doesn’t seem like it would be too difficult.”
He stepped up beside Jongup, so close that their arms rubbed together but Himchan didn’t seem to notice and Jongup never moved away.
“Sometimes I think she acts out because it’s just me and her and she knows I could never be angry for too long with her.” Himchan wished for the millionth time that she had been with her mother for just a few more years, just long enough to know that there was someone who loved her and nurtured her. “So she pushes my buttons because of it.”
“Does she never see her mother?” Jongup looked at him with innocent eyes and Himchan didn’t want to see the guilt the question would make Jongup feel when he told him the truth.
He shook his head. “Not for three years.” His throat felt scratchy and he had to clear it before he could continue. Hayoung laughed at something on the screen and didn’t even realize she was being talked about. “My wife passed away three years ago.”
“Oh.” Jongup blinked uncertainly for a few seconds. “Oh. Wow. That’s… I’m sorry Himchan. I would never have asked if-“
“It’s okay. You didn’t know. It’s been a while so I won’t have a nervous breakdown if someone mentions it or anything.” Himchan gratefully accepted the hand that slid into his own, smaller fingers finding their way between his longer ones. “She was killed in a robbery at the bank she worked at.”
Jongup let out a deep breath, his eyes widening at the sudden news. “That’s awful, Himchan. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. And poor Hayoung… Does she remember her mother?”
Sometimes he thought she could. Little things like a melody hummed under her breath that he had never sung before, or always lining up her dolls in order by color because that was the way her mother had done it and somehow she remembered. “I don’t know. If she does it’s just barely.”
“And your mother helps you, right? That’s good that she has a female in her life even if it’s not her own mother.” Jongup’s thumb was rubbing a loop around the base of his thumb and it was driving Himchan to the point of insanity because it was impossible how comforted one tiny touch could make him fell. “Poor little girl.”
The glasses of wine in his belly made him feel sticky and thick. One beer a night wasn’t comparable to the heady drinks Jongup kept handing off to him. He blinked heavily and wondered when he got to be such a lightweight. He was only halfway through his twenties and he had rent due every month, a job that made him feel soulless and a daughter that depended on him for every single need she possibly had. Sometimes he wondered what his life would have been like if he had went through his earlier years like a regular teenager and partied till the sun came up and dated every girl that came his way.
Maybe then he wouldn’t be exhausted at eight at night and slightly tipsy after four regular sized glasses of wine.
“You don’t hold your alcohol very well.” Jongup laughed to himself as the man next to him leaned into his arm. “That’s cute.”
“That and I worked for ten hours, came home and took Hayoung to ballet class then had enough time to give her a bath before coming here.” He yawned, too tired to even consider covering his mouth in politeness. “Being an adult is hard.”
Jongup tugged him towards the couch, waving wildly to Hayoung as they passed her in the floor. “Come relax while she finishes her movie. She’s having a good time, don’t make her leave yet.” He pulled Himchan down next to him, careful to leave a small space between them. “I’ve never had anyone over before so I don’t want you two to go.”
He sunk into the plushy material, surprised that Jongup had a couch this nice when his apartment was the size of a shoebox. When Himchan had been married his wife’s family were wealthy and so he knew nice furniture when he was on it. And this was nice. This was expensive.
“I like it here.” His head fit perfectly on the cushion behind him and when Jongup propped his feet onto the coffee table Himchan took it upon himself to do the same. He was so comfortable he wasn’t sure if he could ever leave. “It’s nice.”
“Then stay.” Jongup didn’t look at him as he casually threw the words out. His gaze was on the movie Hayoung was watching, but his fingers were tapping nervously onto his pant leg. “I’d like the company.” He finally turned his gaze towards Himchan and gave him the first of many slow, easy smiles that Himchan would come to associate with sleepy Jongup. The smile that right now just made him want to give one back in return but would eventually bring to mind a bare chest and stretching muscles and a gentle ‘goodnight’ whispered in Hayoung’s ear as Jongup pulled blankets over her sleeping form.
“Okay.” Himchan murmured back, losing his train of thought for the smallest of moments. “For just a little while longer.”
---
The next thing he knew it was morning and Hayoung was screaming for pancakes from somewhere nearby. Himchan slowly opened his eyes and looked around in confusion at the unfamiliar ceiling and way too soft to be belong to him blanket covering his chest.
“Hayoung?” The newness of the day meant his voice was raw and dry and he had to clear it to speak louder. “Hayoung?”
“Jongup’s making pancakes, daddy!” She ran into the room in a t-shirt that hung to her knees and jumped up onto his chest making him let out an oomph of pain. “He said I couldn’t wake you up but I was so excited that I couldn’t stop the happy cheers. Is that okay? Am I in trouble?”
He sat up to rub his temples, was his hairline this far back yesterday, and look around at the room so that he could regain his senses. “What time is it?”
“Six-thirty.” Jongup appeared at the door with a grin and a bowl of mix in his arms. “I washed Hayoung’s uniform so it should be done before you leave. She said her backpack was at home so I started breakfast early enough to give you time to make it there and to school. Do you like sausage or bacon?”
“Bacon!” Hayoung screeched, running back into the kitchen.
The sound of bacon sizzling in the skillet and the quiet murmurs of Jongup and Hayoung brought Himchan off of the couch, arms reaching above him to stretch out the kinks. He ran his hands down his ruffled suit and wished he hadn’t gone to sleep without brushing his teeth. He wished he hadn’t of gone to sleep at all actually. Jongup probably thought he was a creep.
“Bathroom’s that way.” Jongup popped his head into the room and pointed to the door behind him as if he knew what Himchan was thinking. “You can wash up while we finish up in here. My toothbrush is in the cabinet if you want to use it.”
He washed his hands and splashed cold water on his cheeks, but couldn’t quite bring himself to use someone else’s toothbrush. That could just wait until they ate and ran home. Work started in an hour but if he was late it would be okay because their boss never showed up until well past nine anyways. Yongguk would cover for him.
The pancakes were mushy in the center and burnt on the edges but when Hayoung shyly asked how he liked them while she brushed flour off of her cheeks he told her honestly that they were the best thing he’d eve ate. “Did you make these for daddy?”
She nodded, looking up towards Jongup for confirmation.
“Hayoung cracked the eggs and poured the mix onto the griddle.” Jongup placed an extra slice of bacon onto her plate. “You get more than everyone else because you did the most work.”
The food disappeared just as quickly as it was cooked and before Himchan knew it they were at the door with a teary Hayoung refusing to tell Jongup goodbye.
“We’ll see each other again, sweetheart.” He crouched down to his ankles and brushed her hair out of her face so he could see her teary eyes. “Anytime you want me you know where to find me, okay?”
Himchan picked her up into his arms and shushed her gently as she hiccupped back tears against his neck. “She likes you. I’m sorry, she doesn’t have many people around her so she gets attached too easily.”
Jongup rubbed a hand through her hair and across her back. “What color did you say you wanted to use next time? We have to make an appointment for our next painting date.”
Her face peeked out from under her bangs as she sniffed. “Purple.”
The suitcase Himchan had seen Jongup carry that held all of his equipment was packed to the table and propped open. “Let’s see, I think I have some purple in here somewhere.” He exaggeratedly hummed and sighed as he searched. “I must have used it all. What will we do now?”
Hayoung gasped in horror at his words. “Oh no! No purple?” She shook Himchan’s shoulder with growing anxiety. “We have to go buy purple paint, daddy!”
Jongup held a finger up to get her attention. “Wait! What if we made purple instead?” At her confused look he held up a red tube of paint. “Do you remember when we mixed white into the pink to make a lighter color?” When she nodded he grabbed a blue tube and held the two together. “Well if we add two of any color together it makes a whole new color. Did you know red and blue make purple?”
“What?” She turned her shocked eyes up towards Himchan’s. “Did you know that?”
He laughed and nodded his head. “I’m going to completely blow your mind and tell you that red and yellow also make orange.”
“That’s advanced color techniques from someone who claims not to know anything about art.” Jongup placed the tubes back into his suitcase and cocked his head to the side in thought. “I don’t know when I’ll be back at the bakery though, I’m sorry. I’ve been working on a new painting and once I get my mind set on a piece I can’t stop until I’ve finished or something else has distracted me.”
“Then you’ll have to come over to our apartment again.” Himchan surprised even himself with the sudden invitation. “Tomorrow? I might have to work late tonight since I won’t get there on time. But tomorrow Hayoung has dance class so I always get out on time. Seven?”
“Ballet and dance in the same week?” He held the door open so that Himchan could hold onto her. “You’re an artist, too.”
She grinned excitedly over Himchan’s shoulder as he carried her down the hall. “I have a show next month! Will you come watch me?”
Jongup waved goodbye when they had reached the stairs. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
---
There came a point where Himchan realized he didn’t even have to ask Jongup over anymore. It became a habit, a routine that he didn’t even realize had become a routine until one night Jongup didn’t show up for dinner at the same time he always did. Himchan stared at the extra plate set on the table and wondered if maybe Jongup had forgotten. Or what if he had made plans with someone else and just didn’t even think to call them?
“Where’s Jongup at, daddy?” Hayoung sat her favorite doll of the month at the fourth seat and pushed him up to his own plate that she insisted be set out. “We’re almost done with our book and he promised to finish it tonight.”
Himchan hesitated on calling him because he would be mortified if he made a big deal out of Jongup missing dinner when it had meant nothing to him this whole time. But it could also be an emergency and Jongup needed help and would appreciate the call.
“I don’t know sweetheart.” He picked at the lid to the takeout box. They never removed the lids until everyone was at the table because it kept the food hot. Jongup had mentioned once that he liked Indian food but had never found a decent restaurant so Himchan had searched one out just for him. This meal had Jongup’s name written all over it and he wasn’t even there to enjoy it. “Maybe he forgot?”
“He didn’t forget.” His daughter looked at him like he was the stupidest creature she had ever laid eyes on and maybe he was. “He told me that seeing us is his favorite part of the day.”
He glanced at the cell phone on the table in front of him. “Should we call him?”
She nodded. “Tell him he has to finish our book. He promised.”
With a sigh he pulled Jongup’s contact info up on his phone and pushed the button to connect.
“Hello?”
“Are you not coming to eat tonight?”
Jongup was silent for a moment then Himchan heard a muffled curse. “I didn’t even realize it was dinner time. I’m so sorry, Himchan. This painting I’ve been working on for weeks is maybe finally done and I lost track of time. Is Hayoung mad?”
“She doesn’t look very pleased with you for the first time ever.”
He was relieved Jongup didn’t have other plans to eat with someone else. Dinner time was their time, just the three of them, and Himchan loved how relaxed and calm Jongup being in the apartment made him feel.
“Tell her I’m on my way and that we’ll finish her book and start a new one tonight, okay?” Jongup sounded out of breath as he rushed around trying to pack up. “I really honestly just got distracted. Painting does that to me when I’m working on something important. I’m leaving now, I’ll be there ASAP.” The phone clicked in his ear telling him Jongup had hung up and was hurrying out the door.
He turned back to his daughter who was staring anxiously at him, her bottom lip sucked in between her teeth. “He’ll be here in just a little bit, okay? Do you want to go ahead and eat without him?”
Hayoung stared hungrily at the boxes in front of her and Himchan could see her little mind whirling through the decision.
“Jongup won’t mind. Go ahead and start eating and by the time you’re done he’ll be here ready to read to you.”
She didn’t need much more encouragement than that, clapping happily as Himchan spooned out the curry and handed her a piece of naan. “This food tastes weird.” Her nose crinkled as she chewed the unfamiliar flavors. “But I like it.”
Himchan wanted to wait for Jongup to show up because he enjoyed eating together and having someone to talk to but if he didn’t get there soon there wasn’t going to be any food left by the way Hayoung was shoveling it in. “Slow down Hayoung. You don’t want to go to bed with a belly ache.”
“Yes I do.” She shoved the rest of her bread into her mouth and held her hand out for another one. “School food is gross. I don’t like it.”
“I can always pack you a lunch.” His daughter stopped with her juice box halfway to her mouth and raised an eyebrow at him the same way her mother used to do. “How was I supposed to know that your school was peanut-free? That kid could have gotten ahold of peanut butter anywhere and besides he turned out okay.”
“He missed three days of school and came back looking like a fat tomato.”
He waved her off. “Whatever.”
The sound of the elevator dinging in the hall had Hayoung jumping out of her seat and racing towards the door with the naan hanging out of her mouth. “Is it Jongup? Is it, daddy?”
“I doubt it. He has to be buzzed-“ The knocking on their door cut him off.
“Hi!” Jongup was red-cheeked and grinning from ear to ear when Himchan opened the door for him. He held an oversized square covered in parchment paper in his arms. “Someone was coming out when I got here so they held the door open for me. I’m sorry I’m late, are you mad at me?” He leaned down to receive Hayoung’s kiss on his cheek. “Have you already picked out a new chapter book to start?”
She nodded as she swiped the back of her palm over her sticky lips. “Uh-huh! It’s a princess book!” Her eyes stayed on the package in his arms. “Did you bring me a present?”
He kicked his shoes off and placed the square against the wall. “Not this time baby. This one’s for your daddy. But tomorrow after school you’ll have to come back to the bakery and help me work on the mural again. I bought new paints this morning and I can’t do it without my best helper.”
Himchan grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the bathroom. She was covered in crumbs and sauce and he had a very good hunch that there was a smashed bag of potato chips in the pocket of her dress. “You need a bath before you play with Jongup.”
Jongup was waiting for him at the table when he came back, his arms and shirt wet from Hayoung splashing at him the moment he got her in the tub.
“You bought Indian food?” Jongup blinked at him quizzically. “What for?”
“Last week you said you liked it.” Had he heard him wrong? “I thought you did… Did I mishear?”
“No, no.” Jongup smiled at him and it made Himchan do the same in return. He could never see Jongup’s happy expression and not want to mirror it at back at him because his joy was contagious. “I love Indian food. I didn’t know you had heard me.” His gaze lowered and he laughed as he saw Himchan’s dripping clothes. “She got you good.”
He tugged the blue shirt out of his work pants and worked on unbuttoning the buttons as he headed towards his room. “One day she’ll have kids of her own and I’m going to laugh when they make her life hell.” He threw the shirt into the hamper and dug through the dresser for a t-shirt. “Go ahead and eat. I’ll be out in a minute.”
“I’ll wait.” Jongup’s closer than anticipated voice surprised him. He looked over his shoulder at the man leaning against his bedroom door. “You know your work shirts have to be washed separately or they start to shrink, right?” He stepped past Himchan to grab the shirt out of the hamper. “Seriously Himchan, what would you do without me?”
“Probably go to work in my pajamas.”
Jongup laughed as he got stuck trying to pull his head through the hole. “Or you’d die on your floor trying to get dressed.” He helped Himchan out of his shirt, eyes sweeping down across his chest when he wasn’t looking. “I’ll just… I’ll go make us plates.”
Himchan turned to tell him what he wanted but Jongup had already made a hasty retreat. “Okay?” He finished putting his t-shirt on and figured he might as well change out of his work pants, too. The belt was always cinched too tight and the pleats made him look like a middle-aged man.
“Are you ready?” He ignored Jongup’s snort at his sweat pants and grabbed his plate to head to the living room. “Let’s eat on the couch tonight. She’ll be in the bathroom for at least forty-five minutes.”
They sat comfortably together on the couch, not so close that Himchan felt awkward but close enough that their legs brushed together every time Himchan jiggled his foot.
“I hate it when you do that.” Jongup held his knee still with a frown on his lips. “You need to slow down on the coffee at work.”
“What makes you think that I-“ He stopped when Jongup squeezed his knee. “I only had three…” Jongup sighed and tilted his head. “Okay five. But we’ve been working on a big account and I needed the energy.”
“Then go to bed earlier.”
Himchan shook his head. “I can’t. I have to get Hayoung to school so we have to eat breakfast and then get her ready and she usually has homework from the night before we didn’t get to finish and I have to get her to school on time and then run across town for work. I’m usually up and fully ready by five-thirty.”
Jongup took a bite of his food, eyes trained thoughtfully on the plate. “I could help you. If you wanted.” He offered quietly. “I don’t work unless I feel like it so I’m always at home. You could go to work on time and I could get Hayoung to school. I’d even pick her up for you.”
Any other time a man volunteered to look after his daughter for him would raise Himchan’s alerts on high, but he had seen Jongup with Hayoung and had to trust his instincts that he genuinely cared for her. His mother always told him that children were the best judges of character and Hayoung had been nothing short of infatuated with the painter.
“I can’t ask you to do that, Jongup.” He would love an extra hour of sleep in the morning, to be honest. And letting his mother off the hook for picking her up on the days he couldn’t would be a big weight off his shoulders. He tried his hardest to get off work in time to pick her up at least twice a week but usually he was stuck in the office until at least five. Their days were so jam packed with schedules and routines that sometimes he felt like curling up under the covers and refusing to emerge.
“You didn’t ask. I volunteered.” Jongup grinned brightly at him. “Honestly Himchan, I enjoy spending time with her. She’s a great muse. She’s so loud and happy and makes me want to create a hundred paintings of her. We could go to the bakery and work on the mural together until you get home. It would make my day a million times more interesting.”
He bit his lip and stirred a piece of bread through the food aimlessly. “Okay.” He finally decided. “We can try it. But if it’s too much you can tell me. No hard feelings, alright?”
Jongup sat back on the couch and nodded happily. “You know I’m only doing this so that I can come over and watch your TV. Your cable bill is going to be through the roof next month so don’t be surprised.”
Himchan laughed because he knew for a fact that Jongup wasn’t a fan of television. He’d told him multiple times that he hadn’t had one for three years and didn’t miss it a bit. The only time he watched it contentedly was when he was sitting on the floor in front of Hayoung and letting her braid his hair while she watched cartoons.
“So in other words I need to invest in more ponytail holders and barrettes?”
“No. No, you need to throw all of them away. Burn them.” Jongup sat upright so quickly that Himchan jumped up next to him. “I almost forgot!” He laid his plate on the coffee table and ran towards the door where he had left the package sitting against the wall. “I brought you something.”
For the first time in the several months that Himchan had known him, Jongup actually looked frightened. He placed the square beside him on the couch and looked everywhere but at Himchan’s face.
“It’s not my birthday.” Himchan tried to crack a joke but Jongup was still turning more and more red. “Thank you, Jongup.”
“Don’t thank me until you open it.” Jongup muttered back weakly, wincing as Himchan carefully unwrapped the gift. “It’s okay if you don’t like it. I wasn’t sure what you would be into and you said you like the stars and the color blue so this just kind of appeared in my he-“
“Jongup.” Himchan quieted him with a warm hand on his arm. “Jongup, it’s beautiful.” He looked in shock at the painting Jongup had made for him, the hours and hours of intense concentration it must have taken, and he was awe-struck. “You did this for me?”
Jongup nodded, his own eyes glued to the hand still curled around his wrist. “I wanted you to have something of mine. You two share so much of yourself with me and I wanted to do the same.” He drew his gaze up the pale arm and faded green t-shirt to the eyes that were intently roving over the painting. “I like painting in circles. They take more time to make them look like something real and not just random blobs on a canvas.”
Himchan watched him as he explained why he painted the way he did. Why he chose each particular shade of blue. Why the stars could be lightening bugs or even the moon depending on how you looked at it. Words that Himchan could never hope to comprehend because he wasn’t an artist and he didn’t see things like Jongup did. But it didn’t matter because he knew the painting was the most beautiful one he’d ever seen.
“What’s its name?” He whispered when Jongup had finally finished his explanation, all of the words jumbled in his head and easing down towards his heart. “You have to give it a name or Hayoung will and there’s no telling what she’ll call it.”
“Scattered Stars.” Jongup shrugged, the red on his neck slowly easing back into his hairline as he realized Himchan didn’t think it was strange that he had painted something for him. “Stupid, but I’m not smart enough for anything fancier.”
He thought Jongup was a lot smarter than he gave himself credit for but he could tell the other man didn’t want to make a big deal about it so he stayed quiet.
“Do you like it?”
Himchan smiled and nodded, squeezing Jongup’s wrist in gratitude. “It’s amazing, Jongup. Honestly. It’s probably the nicest present anyone’s ever gotten me.” He looked around the small room with his brows pulled together in thought. “Where should we put it? Wait. I don’t even have nails…”
Jongup laughed and Himchan watched as the tension melted out of his stiff shoulders. “You don’t have a toolkit or anything?”
“We have a Super who takes care of everything.” Himchan wrinkled his nose in embarrassment. “Having you over every night is starting to make me realize how bad of an adult I am. I can’t cook, I don’t have any tools, I-“
“Am the best father in the universe. And that’s really all you need.” Jongup finished for him. He carefully slipped his arm out of Himchan’s hold and grabbed the painting from his lap, taking it to Himchan’s bedroom and placing it away from anywhere Hayoung could get to it. “I’ll bring stuff tomorrow to hang it for you. You’d probably put a hole in the wall anyway.”
Himchan kicked playfully at him, yelping when Jongup grabbed his foot in midair and cinched his grip. “Alright, alright, you do all of the household chores and I bring home the paychecks. How does that sound?”
He got up to check on Hayoung in the bathroom, not noticing how the throwaway remark had made Jongup flinch.
“Jongup!” She ran out ten minutes later with dripping hair and a pajama dress of her favorite cartoon character on the front. “Daddy said you’re taking me to school tomorrow!” Screeching in excitement, she threw herself into Jongup’s lap and wrapped tiny arms around his neck.
“Only if you’re good tonight and go to bed when daddy tells you to.” Jongup warned her, raising a finger to tap her nose. “Where’s your towel? You’re going to need a new dress because this one’s soaked.”
Himchan came stumbling out of the bathroom with another wet t-shirt clinging to his chest. His arms dropped Hayoung’s forgotten towel and hairbrush onto the floor in front of them. “I need a vacation.”
Jongup rolled his eyes in amusement and pushed Himchan towards his room. “Go take a shower and I’ll take care of her hair. I do a better braid than you do anyways.”
“It’s true daddy, your braids always come undone in the middle of the night.” Hayoung told him earnestly as she settled in between Jongup’s knees and made a grab for the remote. “Can you do French braids? Mijung comes to school with really pretty hair and she said her mommy called them French braids.”
“I don’t think so baby. I’ll look them up when I get home later and see what they are though.”
Himchan watched them from the crack in his door and smiled as they happily watched the TV together and laughed over the same lines. She had asked him several times for different hairstyles but he had been too busy to try anything other than their standard braid and it made his shoulders feel lighter to know that now there was someone who could share the responsibilities with him.
He wondered as he got undressed and into the shower whether he was supposed to pay Jongup for his help.
---
When Jongup knocked on the door the next morning it was half past six and Himchan was trying his hardest to tie his tie and convince Hayoung to get out of bed at the same time.
“Thank God.” Himchan muttered, jerking Jongup into the house and squeezing his arm in gratitude. “She’s being a bear this morning and she likes you more than me so maybe you can get to her to wake up.”
Jongup laid the box of donuts he had brought on the table and slipped off his heavy bag that held a hammer and a box of nails. “She has time, don’t worry. Now come here.” He carefully tied Himchan’s tie and fixed his collar with a smile. “Perfect.”
Himchan looked at the clock and sighed. “I was hoping to get to work by seven so that I could get out early tonight but she still has to eat and g-“
“Go.” Jongup waved him off. “I’m going to put a donut under her nose and that will wake her up, I looked up directions to her school, I am now a master of three different types of braids and I had Mr. Lee at the bakery pack a lunch for her that we’ll pick up on the way.” He grinned at Himchan’s dumbfounded expression. “Everything will be fine here. Go to work so we can eat supper at a normal hour tonight. She might go to bed a lot easier if she doesn’t eat an hour before her bedtime.”
That was all Himchan needed to nod in agreement and rush out the door promising that he would be home by four.
Turning towards Hayoung’s door, Jongup grabbed a donut and stood in the doorway watching her covers rustle.
“This sure is delicious.” He said happily, taking a bite. “It would be even better if my best girl was up to eat breakfast with me.” Sighing, he took another bite and pouted. “But I guess since she won’t wake up then I’ll have to eat them all myself.”
“No!” Hayoung jumped up onto her mattress and shrieked. “I want one!”
Jongup waved the donut at her and made her follow him out of the bedroom first. “You have to wash your hands as soon as you’re done. No sticky fingers all over the table. I cleaned it last night before I left and I don’t want to do it again until supper.”
She mumbled a reply around a mouthful of jelly and dough.
“Is all of your homework done?” At her sheepish shrug, he grabbed her butterfly backpack off the chair and pulled her school folder out. “You were supposed to do a matching sheet and a writing practice page. You can have one more donut while I get your uniform out then its teeth brushing and homework.”
Hayoung grumbled, spitting crumbs across the table, much to Jongup’s displeasure. He muttered something about her being lucky she was cute as he wiped the table clean.
“What about my hair?” She grabbed his arm and swung it around in excitement. “What are you going to do with my hair today?”
“I think I’m going to shave it.” When she gasped in horror he laughed and picked her up to carry her to the bathroom. “I’m teasing. Brush your teeth and I’ll do your hair while you work on your homework. But tonight we’re doing it before supper. No homework finished means no TV.”
She slumped her shoulders angrily. “You’re supposed to be nicer than daddy is.”
“No one’s nicer than daddy is.” Jongup told her, tickling her ribs. “He’s the best.”
After she had finished in the bathroom and put on the uniform he had hung from the door she raced out with her hairbrush and plastic box full of hair bows and ponytail holders.
“Jongup? Are you going to move in with us?”
Jongup stopped mid-braid and looked down at her with surprise. “What makes you ask that?”
“You’re here until I go to bed. And now you’re going to be here when I wake up. Does that mean you’re going to live here?”
He chewed on the corner of his cheek and thought about the way Himchan had brushed his fingers across his knuckles as he left, smiling so wide that the dimple under his cheek was visible as the door started to close behind him.
And then remembered that Himchan had once loved a woman so much that they had married and had a child.
“No sweetheart. I don’t think so.”
*Jongup's painting*
part four