Aaaaargh, Aaaaargh Good. . .

Mar 31, 2004 02:36

Dear Consumer ( Read more... )

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Comments 23

tiarafetish March 31 2004, 02:41:54 UTC
Ahhhh, was missing that warped twisted JoJo mind. Good fix.

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Re: jojofries March 31 2004, 03:12:48 UTC
Thank you, Missus Fetish! I strive to deliver comedy heroin to the hungry veins of your readership!

-J. Fries

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larryv March 31 2004, 05:36:04 UTC
Mr. J. Fries
Senior Marketing Director, JoJoCorp, Int.

Dear Mr. Fries,

I have frequently enjoyed use of JoJan® Brand Gourmet Latex Condoms. Recently I tried the new Southwest Style Jalapeño & Knife non-lubricated condom with holes in it. While it greatly increased her pleasure, I fear that it did not fulfill its designated intended function of protecting me from sexually transmitted diseases. The next morning my entire genital region was covered in what can be described as sores upon initial inspection - but was more accurately diagnosed as "Jalapeño inflamed stab wounds and crabs" by my doctor.

This however is not the reason I am writing to you. I just wanted to say that I do enjoy the use of your product. I’ve been using the Garlic & Herb and Tomato & Basil variety for some time now and have always been quite pleased. The flavors and burning sensation are superior to the non-gourmet brands of condoms on the market. I was wondering however when you were going to come out with a desert line - perhaps a sorbet or ice cream variety ( ... )

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Re: jojofries March 31 2004, 13:31:53 UTC
Dear Larry V,

While I suspect that you intended to inquire about a "dessert" condom, it is nonetheless a fortuitous gaffe, as JoJoCorp will soon be unveiling a new line of Desert Condoms for Bedouin use. Although no dessert condoms are currently on the slate I hope that you and your nomadic arid brethren will take advantage of this new line. Perhaps in the future we at JoJoCorp will set our sights on the Gourmet Dessert Condom market.

Thank you for choosing JoJan® and God Bless!

-J. Fries
Senior Director of Vice Presidents of Sales, JoJoCorp, Int.

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plinko March 31 2004, 07:05:42 UTC
I fear the day you come out with the Extra Super Cheesy Version.

CHEESE ROCKET!

Cheese and crotches just should not go together.

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Re: jojofries March 31 2004, 13:33:19 UTC
That's a matter of opinion. Many were the days I would gleefully go about my daily business with a slice of jarlsberg wrapped around my penis, unbeknownst to all but me.

-J. Fries

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effluvia March 31 2004, 13:37:24 UTC
Such imagery!

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Re: jojofries March 31 2004, 13:41:50 UTC
I'm what you call a "wordsmith"!

-J. Fries

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alarmed March 31 2004, 08:17:01 UTC
I choked on my coffee over this post

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Re: jojofries March 31 2004, 13:35:31 UTC
That's the kind of reaction that keeps me posting once every four or five months! Please note that I am exempt from liability for any injury incurred while visiting my journal. Although LiveJournal has deep pockets. . .you might look into it?

-J. Fries

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Re: alarmed March 31 2004, 17:12:02 UTC
and - if I get some of the lint that lines those pockets, I will make sure you get a cut

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Re: jojofries March 31 2004, 18:58:11 UTC
Good show. It is only right that I should receive my tribute, I think.

-J. Fries

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(The comment has been removed)

Re: jojofries March 31 2004, 13:36:31 UTC
Thank you, madame Pipkin! Sadly, for all my effort, such a ruse has yet to net me a single ounce of vagina. . .*sigh*

-J. Fries

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