Comments | jolly_rodgette: Shedding

jolly_rodgette

Shedding

Feb 15, 2004 05:58

Sometimes i wonder if you know that i know what you dont want me to know....other times i know that you dont care. It's this knowledge that kills me....to know that you dont care at all about what we've gone through together...to throw it all away like that, like i dont matter. I dont matter to you, it didnt take me long to figure this out. I am ( Read more... )

Comments 4

Re: good luck! mmm_brains February 15 2004, 11:07:25 UTC

i didn't read all that because i can barely see my screen....got my glasses smashed to bits...but ya...i miss having lovesong by the cure..handy....where oh where did that mp3 go anyways...graaahhhh

fareme February 15 2004, 11:28:49 UTC

I don't really know where to start ( ... )

Re: jolly_rodgette February 16 2004, 01:08:06 UTC

it is strange, isnt it...the apathy.... You are so right in many ways, Kel...and so wrong on who i am and how i am towards you in many also...i never repromanded you, and i did tell you to be careful, and yes, i did know... maybe the way you percieved it was criticism....was anger and all those negative things...i never once said..."if youi do this, i will hate you, and i will think poorly of you"....all i wanted was the truth, simply because i had known for a long time, i thought after 14 years, the truth was enough....i was angry that you hadn't told me, only because i could have helped you, in whatever decision you made. I am proud of you, for your decision...very proud, to be honest...sorry for you, but proud. You did what i think was the right thing, though painful and something i could never face. ...anyways, none of that matters to me anymore...you say that i pushed you away, so be it....my bad. I'll always love you, beefry....always....nothing can change that...the tears i've shed tonight were definately mournful ones, ( ... )

Re: fareme February 16 2004, 20:24:56 UTC

No, you would not have been supportive. At least not in my eyes at the moment, which were at the time nothing but frightened and stressed because of the situation, because I didn't want anyone close to me to know, really. Because I didn't want attention. Because I didn't want advice or pity or sympathy or anything else. Because I didn't want anyone to worry. Maybe I was cold about it, yeah. It hurt a lot, but it's something that, like all painful things, I desired to struggle through alone, or as alone as possible ( ... )