depression sucks. i cant seem to get off my ass and at the same time i feel so bored. i spent all my money on random shit and now i have none for college. so now im trying to get a job and waiting for my $400 tax return. sigh the first thing i do with that cash is buy 2 grams of coke. it will be a failed atempt to relive some prosperity. this ( Read more... )

more dxm last night. i exctracted 2 bottles of vicks 44 and its was the most bitter shit in the world but i got it all down with out puking and i had a very crazy time. i spent like 30 mins at the atm at circle k getting $9 from my savings into my checkings so i could buy a pack of smokes. the walk was the funnest part if i do that stuf again ( Read more... )

then there was saturday night, drunk and happy, my old room mate stops by and shares a beer with me. then he pulls out his glass pipe and offers me some meth. i decided to try it and thats where it got fucked up. meth is like coke, but more happy, more energy, and lasts a hell of a lot longer. only side effect, dreaming about bugs crawling ( Read more... )

update to the jornal begins. umm lets see starting last friday night i got real fucked up off of dxm. i decided to down the 6 remaining tablets of coricidin i had left, theni began to finish off the half bottle of tussin. after that, i decided to take a walk with my buddy lance to the store to get a 6 pack of hornsby's. we get back to the house ( Read more... )

i wonder what im going to do with 48 aa batteries. maybe ill trade them for cigarettes.

so im off to my midterm and i succefully did not smoke any pot the night before. i have a good feeling about this one, even tho i havnt been to class in 2 weeks and its vector calc. oh well im hoping for a c but a b would be cool too.

and again i stay up al night only to feel like a reaking poile of dog shit. i want to take a shower but im so unmotivated from the weed i smoked the previous night. i need to stop smoking regularly. i wouldnt be smoking if it wernt for red, that man likes to toke up every night, and though its not as much as i used to smoke, its still anoyong to ( Read more... )

so theese last couple of days my mind has been filled with vision of cocaine. i feel its need like i feel the need to sleep or eat. is this healthy? no of course not coke ruins the nose and causes other complications to the heart, but at the same time i dont seem to care. i wish i could find a way to make its ingestion just as effective and ( Read more... )

i consider myself very fortunate when it comes to childhood. I grew up in the outskirts of a very small city, a population of 10,000. and since my mother and father broke up when i was very young, ive always had a protective mother and no real father figure to help me boost my courage. As such, my fear of social interaction basicly excluded me ( Read more... )