After 24 straight days --

TWENTY-FOUR --

TWO DOZEN --

ALMOST A MONTH --

it's finally stopped friggin' raining.

I realize I'm a day late here, but that's okay. I'm trying to save you from making the same mistake next year.

"Tea parties" as a protest against taxes are a bad idea intellectually. You see, the Boston Tea Party was a protest against two things:

1) The lowering of taxes on the East India Company in order to allow them to be able to compete ( Read more... )

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Detroit Lions thong panties.


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Scripps announced today that tomorrow's edition of the Rocky Mountain News would be the last. It is, until tomorrow, the oldest business in the entire state of Colorado ( Read more... )

Kevin Garnett. Derek Jeter. Jimmy Johnson (the NASCAR one). Misty May and Kerry Walsh. Usain Bolt. Alicia Sacramone. A guest appearance by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and a fire-breathing poodle with Michael Jordan's voice. And "You Shall Not Pass" until there's a dance-off.

This is one of the best things ever in the history of ever.

It helps if ( Read more... )

Say what you will, though:

The Cardinals -- that team that had no business making it to the Super Bowl, who were being included in the short list of "Worst Super Bowl teams ever" -- covered the spread. If you bet on Pittsburgh, you LOSE.

Say goodbye to your loved ones. Make your peace with the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Go do something crazy you've always been afraid to do.

Because the world is ending. The CARDINALS are going to the Super Bowl.

Bill Bidwell is an evil bastard, and doesn't deserve this, but... well, shit, y'all know how I am with pathetic teams.

On January 25, the Montsburgh Penadians will host the Mighty Blackhawks of Chicaheim in the 2009 NHL All-Star Game.

No, seriously; the entire starting lineups for the East and West combined will be composed of players from only four teams: four Canadiens, two Penguins, and three each from Anaheim and Chicago. The thing is... none of those teams ( Read more... )

Dear Apple ( Read more... )