im almost positive that i failed my physics final today. it was entierly escapable, i could have studied more, i should have studied more, but insted i failed, and now i feel terrible about not passing with whatever small amount of knowledge i retained in my head from lecture. this failure is special because now i may fail physics, which means i ( Read more... )

in a fit of confusion, lack of sleep, cold, hunger and under the influence i wrote this cryptic entry in my journal, it scared me so much i had to post it online ( Read more... )

i cannot understand how so much non-thinking and inaction lead to so much action and thinking. which in turn leads to a lack of either thinking or action.

Liz, being the pure innocent dove of my dreams that flew high above all that is ugly in this world. i know that you are not exactly this image, but when i think of you this image is all that comes to mind ( Read more... )

i dont know how to say this, but i need help, i need a familiar face, some comfort from home, some good memories. because right now i feel really low, and helpless to do anything to bring me back up. i have so much to do, and i procrastinate so much that it all piles up into a wall that i cant pass. i just want to give up and cry. i havent cried ( Read more... )

i need to clear my conscious of some shit. first off, to whom it matters, i loved her the entire time we were together, through our pause, up until halloween. i still hope the best for her, its just like i hope the best for anyone else now. anything i said that weekend that does not agree with this was a lie. second, i dont know how many people ( Read more... )

i live in a self imposed prison, and all i do is smoke, sleep and eat. not always in that order. i am depressed, and angry. i feel like nothing can make me happy right now, and that everyone is out to gain something from my selflessness. i am going to stop (again, for... i think the third time) smoking and drinking, because i have done no ( Read more... )

its really uplifting, living in an environment where people are so content with their personal life that they complain either about very large scale things, or very small scale things. it all feels like a dream, and people have to look hard to find faults (race does not exist as far as i can see). oh well, i guess i have to adapt and think about ( Read more... )

i deleted liz's number from my phone, it will take me a while to forget it. i have never. never. left a relationship (friends etc.) on a bad note. oh well first time for everything. now that i think about it, i probably was to close to liz most of the time i was with her. my hands were on her hips a lot of the time. i wanted to hug her, be with ( Read more... )

i am not even angry, last night i was, but for different reasons, and now that i see the whole picture, im not mad. i should be, and i have the right ot be pissed. but im not. not anymore. i have given up hope, for the wrong reasons, and accept life as it comes. i have some great friends, and ive made some choices, both good and bad. i accept the ( Read more... )