(Untitled)

Dec 28, 2011 12:25

I miss my old life.

But this is my life now. And I'm not sure where I'm going.

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indigotea December 28 2011, 18:56:25 UTC
What's going on?

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joriel December 28 2011, 22:39:03 UTC
It has been the worst year of my life, and everything is different inside. In one year my Grandma E announced lung cancer, two days later Grandma M had a life-threatening fall. Grandma E started treatment, we let Grandma M go because she was so deep into Alzhiemer's she wouldn't even understand what was happening to her, let alone why she was hurting from surgery. I hadn't spoken to her in two years because she was convinced I am a con artist out to steal her money like the news said, she doesnt' have grandchildren ( ... )

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indigotea December 29 2011, 00:20:39 UTC
Oh, honey, you've had a rough one! I can sympathize a little bit; I lost my Gran in October, just shy of her 91st birthday. I'm grateful I'd seen her the month before, and that she was lucid and very much herself. Because I was ears-deep in projects, bootstrapping my business, I hadn't taken the time to process it until this past month, when health issues caught up with me, and forced me to "be still" and realize that's been a big chunk of what's bothering me ( ... )

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joriel December 29 2011, 02:32:54 UTC
You're an awseome person. *Hugs*

I've set myself a timeline, and am following it, and if I can't turn this around in the next month I'm going to find a therapist. But I have to make an appointment with a regular doctor anyway now that we have insurance again, and get my asthma stuff refilled and get the knee rechecked, so I might see if there is anything I can take on a temporary basis to get me going into normal again. Do they have short term anti-depressents? Getting back out and trying to interact with people, while having mixed results, sometimes I just come across as really manic and strange these days, is helping a bit.

Getting the fence and the mini-sun security lights out back helped with the panic freakouts every time I hear the littlest noise. I live with a dog and three cats these days, so there are noises. The kitten is especially good at strange noises.

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