Well I just got home from my stay at Shoal Creek(mental hospital). I went in with a .488 and for attempted suicide which from the my blood alcohol level itself I could have very well died or slipped into a coma. Also not to mention my eating disorder had become a day to day thing and I would always feel guilty for eating even a small amount of food ( Read more... )

I really don't care about you and I know I will let you down in then end. Because I don't really care.

Can i use you as an outlet ( Read more... )

I got sent home today because i was still drunk.
I couldn't find my bag after that but thank god i left
my wallet and keys at home. Having store leadership
address my drinking problem just made it more clear.
I am in denial about it but everyone else knows it is there..
A coworker offered to take me to an AA meeting.
Maybe i should go?

But livejournal you listen to all of my thoughts ( Read more... )

So apparently I abandoned my mother and brother. I am sure most of my close my friends know that i had to take care of my mother after my step father died and i was only 16. I had to pick up all of the pieces while my brother was in and out of jail/rehab. Hearing that i am a fuck up from my brother has to be the biggest and funniest thing in the ( Read more... )

That i am not looking for or expecting sympathy. Because sympathy will not fill the voids that i have.

I really need to get out of this manic depression funk that i am in. I am just this crazy bipolar lady lately. I have this horrible itching in my wrist and i find myself rubbing my wrist on things. Suicide would be so selfish of me and i know it but i still think about it. I knew this would happen. I hate feeling like no one will understand me when ( Read more... )

In all honesty i never thought i would make it to the tender age of 21. I know this might be hard for people to read but i just have to get it off of my mind so maybe i won't think it anymore so here i go. I never expected to make it to 21, i have always felt i was meant to die young. My body is itching for a cut and i hate it.  Regardless of how ( Read more... )

for having cancer. I hate you i hate you i hate you
just someone tell me what i am doing is right.
I need the reassurance and approval.