this is to show andy how close he is to ice cream heaven

[journalwk]

last done this six months ago.

"this is not blogging, it's el jaying."

--moosemonster

Top Ice-Cream-Eating Motherfuckers on lostcosmonaut's Internet Diary
(Self-commentude excluded from rankings)

1journalwk

Comments

[moosemonster]

Right, Markolovskiowitz, riiiiiight. To understand, you have to go back to Earth, mentally. If you can imagine, for a moment, what it felt like as the lake kept expanding, and we kept going faster and faster toward the shore, which was still somehow racing away from us. And after some time, no matter how long exactly, we started to think, oh fuck, we're not going to make it. We'll never get there! You just don't get it, how long it took to think that: yes, I know the idea appeared spontaneously, as they always do, but that it took so long to see it. Of course, by then, the lake was so big that we couldn't comprehend anything else: just the lake and moving so fast across it to the shore we couldn't find anymore. And you know, deep down, that we can never go back. Because it's not there. Yeah, go drink your damned coffee.

[claudelemonde]

Smith: "Right, Markolovskiowitz, riiiiiight."
Markolovskiowitz: "To understand, you have to go back to Earth, mentally. If you can imagine, for a moment, what it felt like as the lake kept expanding, and we kept going faster and faster toward the shore, which was still somehow racing away from us."
Smith: "Huh."
Markolovskiowitz: " And after some time, no matter how long exactly, we started to think, oh fuck, we're not going to make it. We'll never get there!"
Smith: "..."
Markolovskiowitz: "You just don't get it, how long it took to think that: yes, I know the idea appeared spontaneously, as they always do--"
Smith: "...but that it took so long to see it."
Markolovskiowitz: "Of course, by then, the lake was so big that we couldn't comprehend anything else: just the lake and moving so fast across it to the shore we couldn't find anymore."
Smith: "And you know, deep down, that we can never go back. Because it's not there."
Markolovskiowitz: "Yeah, go drink your damned coffee."

[moosemonster]

The Mangina Dialogues.

[claudelemonde]

law & order: martians have feelings too

[moosemonster]

I don't know why the robots just can't get their shit together. It's not like we haven't given them every chance, and then some. To prove themselves, worthy citizens of a worthwhile city. And it is worthwhile, I say. Even after the Walmarts closed, even after the evacuation of China, even after the robots came. We gave them shelter, plutonium, rocket boots. Everything. Don't they understand that they were left behind for a reason? With us? Perhaps they're just not smart enough. You know, I wish we could go to New China, too. They're saying maybe next year, after they open some more Walmarts. It's great to be alive!

[claudelemonde]

01001101 01000001 01011001 01000010 01000101 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000101 00100000 01010010 01001111 01000010 01001111 01010100 01010011 00100000 01000100 01001111 01001110 00100111 01010100 00100000 01010111 01000001 01001110 01010100 00100000 01010100 01001111 00100000 01000111 01000101 01010100 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000101 01001001 01010010 00100000 01010011 01001000 01001001 01010100 00100000 01010100 01001111 01000111 01000101 01010100 01001000 01000101 01010010

[moosemonster]

01010100 01001000 01000101 01011001 00100000 01000001 01001101 00100000 01001110 01001111 01010100 00100000 01010111 01001111 01010010 01010100 01001000 01011001 00100000 01000011 01001001 01010100 01001001 01011010 01000101 01001110 01010011 00101100 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000101 01010100 00100111 00100111 01010011 00100000 01000110 01001111 01010010 00100000 01010011 01010101 01010010 01000101 00101110

[claudelemonde]

01010010 01001111 01000010 01001111 01010100 01010011 00100000 01000001 01001100 01001101 01001111 01010011 01010100 00100000 01001110 01000101 01010110 01000101 01010010 00100000 01010110 01001111 01001100 01010101 01001110 01010100 01000101 01000101 01010010 00101100 00100000 01000100 01001111 01001110 01000001 01010100 01000101 00100000 01001101 01001111 01001110 01000101 01011001 00101100 00100000 01001111 01010010 00100000 01010000 01001001 01000011 01001011 00100000 01010101 01010000 00100000 01010010 01001111 01000010 01001111 01010000 01010101 01010000 00100000 01010000 01001111 01001111

[moosemonster]

I drove into an avalanche of calculators, right in, and secretly collapsed into a packet of calligraphy. Staplers chased me across the sorbet fjord, en masse, as the sun spluttered out and the sky peeled into flakes. By god it was delicious.

[claudelemonde]

Delicious it was, by God. Flakes into a peeled sky; out spluttered the sun as, massed, fjords of sorbet crossed me, chasing staplers. Calligraphy packets collapsed into secrets; on the right, calculators avalanched, and I drove right in.

[moosemonster]

"Ok, now you'll see some smoke. It's part of the procedure."

(radio) "Opening this week, Menopause: The Musical"

"Do you like my new hair?"

"Yes, it really sets off your mask"

"Look, on Fridays, someone take out the fucking garbage. It stinks up the place all weekend, with sandwiches!"

"I don't like it. I really don't like it"

"Whatever, fuckwad"

i'll take non sequiturs for $400 alex

[claudelemonde]

what is...dermabrasion

what are....stepmothers with hot flashes

what is...a minefield

what is....a jim carrey mistake

who is....my husband (rimshot)

what is....audience reaction to Q.3

what is...my standard work response