New livejournal, I need to start over.
www.drinkmywarr.livejournal.com
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Knowing there's always going to be someone more important than you in someone's life is draining. I really just want to be needed... once.

Am I always just going to be a convenience?

I really never thought I'd meet someone who keeps me down to earth and is crazy with me at the same time.
Ahhhh! SO GREAT!

"I want to fall in love with him to the extent I feel like I can, but I can't."

I think I'm starting to want to take that back.

I feel like everything's out of place.
I want to hate him but I can't.
I want to fall in love with him to the extent I feel like I can, but I can't.
I'm sitting on the edge of everything.
It feels like a mess.

Wow.

WHY DO MEN FIND IT SO NECESSARY TO TRY TO MAKE ME EXPRESS JEALOUSLY? It makes me fucking miserable and absolutely pushes me away. I'm so frustrated.

I honestly don't remember anything from the last two weeks, and I've been 100% sober. I was standing in the shower tonight and thinking about how I've been so distant. I'm understanding this whole "cloud 9" thing much more than ever before...

Real, honest love shouldn't take years to develop. You should know in minutes, if not seconds that you're going to love someone. It should absolutely turn your world upside down and set it on fire. Days should fly by with them and drag for years without them. I suddenly don't feel so foolish.