I need to remember he leaves tuesday. Hes to good. I guess every good thing must come to an end. SUCKY.  Long update soon. probably tuesday. I'm to tired now

kyle being in town is amazing. so much better then i thought itd be. Hes been really sweet to me, yet i dont really feel that attached to him, yeah it will suck when he leaves but im prepared for it. i think it may be the fact that he doesnt have to leave, hes choosing to, in my world and head that means hey i dig you but its not worth it, its cool ( Read more... )

ive been non stop going since yesterday at like...4. I went with Sarah to her grandmas, met her amazing family, then we went to somerset mall, where i freaked out, lol and my heart dropped a few times thinkng i might run into Ivan. That sucked. It set me off into rants about him, i mainly just hate that its still an open book and i have no excuse ( Read more... )

good things do not happen to me. pretty sure chicago is off. FUCK. not what i wanted to happen. pretty sure im falling into depression again also. not fun either. and i think im managing to scare off all the guys in my life....go me ( Read more... )

scott never got a hold of me this weekend. while he was in town. he said wed chill. id be lying if i said i wasnt totally bummed out about this, id of taken anythingg from that kid, even if we just started talking more id of been happy...i guess it is what it is though and i cant do anything about it now, im just gunna pretend last weekend never ( Read more... )

i hate friday nights where i dont do anything, so i sit inside and overthink everything in my life. i hate it. fuck.

Went to sarahs house last night, hung out with her and Ashley, im thinking they both need Chicago alot more then i do, stuff isnt going the well for them. I hate that bad things always happen to good people. Those girls have been through enough. Hopefully next weekend will hurry up and get here already ( Read more... )

jimmy and i talked about livejournal today, im probably gunna have to make a fake one so he can spy on me. damn i hate being two faced and shit but he'd be crushed if he read what i really did valentines day. so would any of the guys on my "bench." so many guys want me to commit to them, and i just really cant. I cant commit to anyone, nor do i ( Read more... )

Abby and me are very distant. I hate feeling this way. I know we both go through phases where we stop talking then get really close for like a month, then go more without talking, but last week when i hung out with her...it was different, i donno why but i didnt wanna hang out with her. Shes becoming everything he never ever wanted to be, ( Read more... )

valentines day isnt real. its a day to make you feel more lonely and more like shit then you already do on a regular day ( Read more... )