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Mandy's Five
Today is the five year anniversary of your death, Mandy.
I love your words. I love your music. I love your poetry. I love your sincerity. I love your awesome and scary depth. I love the way you could look at me or anyone else and say 1,000 words with your eyes without ever voicing a single one. I love your talent on and off the stage. I love your ( Read more... ) -
give me just a little more time
this site has continued to serve as a space wherein i reflect on the loss that has no doubt directed every action taken, every song written, every relationship engaged in, every art piece composed, every poem constructed, and every significance appropriated and attached to all else that has occured since she left.
i gravitate towards people who ( Read more... ) -
almost 2006
it has been an unbelievable year. 2005. 2004 even. 2003, yes definitely unbelievable. 2002 was awful. 2001 was pretty rough. 2000 was ok but i still remember being excited that it was over. 1999 and beyond are jumbled into one year that represents a time and a place i haven't paid a mental visit to in a long while ( Read more... ) -
I had another dream about Mandy
i was over at mandy's house with all our friends from high school. mandy and i kept a close watch on each other while we were all in this one room. she saw that ashley and i were sort of together or that something was going on there. i remember feeling in the dream that it would be great to be with ashley, and that i should have been paying more ( Read more... ) -
"gilligan's island" on reality tv
fucking bullshit. i just watched two girls who want to be the new marianne from gilligan's island battle it out for no fucking reason. i really do not understand the point of this fucking show ( Read more... ) -
motherfuckers at ORL
the bitches at the office of resident life will not let me out of my dorming contract yet. i fucking cannot believe these people. i'm so depressed and fucking unhappy here. you would think that would be enough for anyone to say, "yes, please find other housing arrangements so that you don't feel so miserable. that is not what we want for you. we ( Read more... ) -
a mighty wind
i got done making brownies just a little while ago. i used to make brownies all the damn time in high school. we would go out, be jack asses on the town, come back to the henderson house here in sunnyvale, and go to town on betty crocker's homestyle recipe for unbelievably good brownies ( Read more... ) -
mandy
She hasn't left my thoughts once. On Thursday, Nov. 18, 2004... Mandy killed herself in her dorm room at UCLA. I was mortified when I got the news from a kid I hadn't spoken to since 8th grade. He had to be wrong. He had to have been mistaken ( Read more... ) -
i ma os otni uoy
so yesterday was one of the most bizarre days all around. carlson walked up to me two seconds before chapel and asked me to make an announcement about the first high school dance so i had to get up and do that after everyone spoke. i was chewing on a piece of gum that brigitte gave me first period in art and i had completely forgotten to take it ( Read more... ) -
first week of school debriefing
so this past week was the first week of school. the new freshman aren't as bad as last year's freshman class. the new sixth graders are super cute and funny. the new teachers are... well... haven't really met so many of them just yet ( Read more... )