Rose tint my world

[juskasalminen]

Friday marked the two month date since I first laid eyes on Rufus. Of course, this date was also the inception and consummation of the relationship. Time often baffles me. Two months really does not sound like that long, my soul has known Rufus for years, we just never had the opportunity of being face to face before two months ago. When I

Comments

[mige_amour]

I`m happy for you that he`ll be back so soon.

[juskasalminen]

Thank you, Migé. I have felt so lost for too long now. He has made me find myself again, summoned my reason to go on.

[mige_amour]

That`s a good thing. Are you lurking, babe?

[juskasalminen]

I am not lurking, just catching up.

[billy_tallent]

Love, when it first starts, is intense and epic to the point of pain. It's a wonder that anyone survives that kind of emotion, but surprisingly, we all do. As the relationship progresses, the feeling dies down, but only a little; you still feel so much, it almost cripples you.

Reading over your entry reminds me of what I feel with Hugh, how much it hurts when he's gone and how good it feels to be back together with him again. It's good to see people love like that, wholeheartedly and without reservation, even when the separation dims the world a little every day. Because eventually, he'll be back and your world will be light again.

[juskasalminen]

I agree that at the inception of love, the pain is undeniably great. It is paralyzing and overpowering, it knocks me to my knees and keeps me gasping for breath. It is love and death in a single moment, a stunning symphony with all of its parts and textures. The crescendo of a song, the lullaby of the violin.

I am appreciative to have someone who understands these feelings. Someone who knows what it is like to break down because your arms are empty, just to have that person return and put you back together again. You mentioned about loving people wholeheartedly. I think this is a mistake people make, when they hold reservations in love, when they do not allow themselves to succumb fully. It is robbing in a way. It is never easy to be humbled, to be powerless in front of someone else admitting your frailty, but it is one of the most profound feelings I have ever been able to experience.

[billy_tallent]

I used to be one of those people who loved only if the other was more in love with me and only I had an escape route planned for when the relationship soured. I was deathly afraid to let anyone get that close to me, to let anyone that deep inside me that they knew me better than I knew myself.

When Hugh pushed down my walls, he shattered me completely and then built me back up from the foundation. He pushed and fought and slammed at me until he got inside me and then he held onto me with both hands, refusing to let go. I've never been loved like that before and, God willing, never again because I can't take that kind of emotion, I really can't. I love him to the point of obsession and if it were anyone else, I'd be running away so fast, all I'd leave behind in my wake was dust.

But to be alive, you have to love at least one person like that at least once in your life. Dying without having experienced love is a regret I'll never have to worry about.

[juskasalminen]

Dying without having experienced love is a regret I'll never have to worry about.

You know, I do not think many people can say that. Consider yourself lucky, very lucky.

[psy_vampira]

*dances* I make funny noises, i make funny noises....

*ahem*

Sorry for that.

[juskasalminen]

You are overwhelmingly precious. Thank you for always brightening my day.

Re:

[psy_vampira]

^_^ No problem! I'm not in my right mind now (though some would say I never am...sickness makes me more so...)

I HAVE SORBET! XD *more dance-y*

[john_ox]

Love has never been been rose-tinted to me. Even when it first started, it was painted in shades of blood-red and soul-black, and it overwhelmed me to the point of fear. I lost it soon after, through my fear and fucked-up nature, and I've lived in withdrawal ever since.

If life were an easy ride, most of us would still end up splattered all over the highway through our own careless mistakes and recklessness.

[juskasalminen]

I think the way each person experiences love is unique. I can respect that you do not get the rosy tinted view of the world because sometimes I feel the same way as you, seeing many different shades. Perhaps love is an emotion that allows us to feel things more deeply? The salt to life, enhancing its taste so to speak.

I do not want to think of having to go without, living in withdrawal, but every time Rufus and I separate, I feel just that.

I agree, we are our own worst enemies. Some of us being more reckless than others. I think part of my nature, why I am the way I am, why I feel the need to jump into things fully without a lot of thinking is fear of living my life in a pool of "what if's."

[g_gershon]

Is there even such a thing as an easy ride? A seamlessly comfortable situation?

I don't think there's such thing as an easy ride at all. But I know for a fact that seamlessly comfortable situations do exist.

[juskasalminen]

I disagree. I do not believe that seamless exists. Every relationship has snags, some are just deeper and wider than others.

[g_gershon]

You didn't specify relationships, or romantic relationships, as I'm assuming you mean. I meant situations, like you said.

[juskasalminen]

I suppose I am a bit relationship-centric at the moment. I am not sure if there are such situations as well. Moments, yes, but not entire situations.