[[This journal is inactive. It will not be deleted for the sake of history and sentimentality. You can find the new Juska at juska_salminen.]]

Sleep. It is the only activity that I have enjoyed these past few days. Well, sleep and reading the letter I found tucked into my pocket. I did not even realise it was there until I was on the plane, almost home and roused awake from a nap by turbulence. My coat had fallen down from around my shoulders. In the process of adjusting it, I saw ( Read more... )

Leaving New York was more emotional than I was expecting. I have been looking forward to returning home because I miss it terribly, yet there was a sadness about leaving America. There are moments in life that are paramount, ones that grab onto you firmly, giving you this feeling in the pit of your gut that somehow everything is going to change ( Read more... )

I am normally rather good at keeping up with my journaling, however, at times life has the tendency to sweep you up and carry you away, distracting you from other things that may be going on. I am feeling a bit out of touch by and large. I am sure with time things will be back to normal for me.

March 30th, Teddy Thompson at Club Passim, Boston ( Read more... )

It is amazing getting to know your lover so well that you are comfortable in his or her presence. Initially, my stay in America with Rufus was about mending and healing. Winning back one of the most important relationships in my life, a relationship that I am personally to blame for tarnishing. There is a great amount of shame associated with ( Read more... )

There is never a dull moment with Rufus. Every day new worlds are opened for me; I enjoy the idea very much. With both of us coming from severely different cultures and backgrounds, there is the chance to have a good amount of disconnect. However, we do not see things that way and use it as a positive rather than a negative. Both of us are ( Read more... )

I have mentioned being avoidant of certain people. In actuality, I have been avoidant of most people, for the obvious exception of Rufus. I at least owe that to him, offering my time and attention, mending wounds, sewing up gaps of emotion. Yet in a moment of clarity this morning I realised that in an effort to avoid negativity, I have allowed ( Read more... )

I have been purposely avoiding certain people. Right now I am unwilling to let the poison of other people's disdain and hatred drag me down. I am rising from these ashes; I am finding strength within myself. The first step in this new attitude was getting on a plane to New York. Say what you want behind my back, say what you like to my face, ( Read more... )

At night I hold him close, take in the breath that expels from hips lips, making his breath a part of me ( Read more... )

We flew to Miami on Thursday for Amanda and Marc's wedding. I suppose I was invited by default, as Rufus was the one who received the invitation and I was the "and guest" portion of it. Regardless, we had a lovely time. Amanda was exquisitely beautiful, breathtaking. Events such as these are always fascinating, always wrought with emotion and ( Read more... )