Rejuvenation

[juskasalminen]

I have been purposely avoiding certain people. Right now I am unwilling to let the poison of other people's disdain and hatred drag me down. I am rising from these ashes; I am finding strength within myself. The first step in this new attitude was getting on a plane to New York. Say what you want behind my back, say what you like to my face,

Comments

[teddythompson]

I'm extremely happy for you, Juska... and I mean that. You two seem to obviously care a lot for each other and give to each other such a thing that cannot be replaced. I'm glad you've found each other.

[juskasalminen]

Thank you, Teddy. You are very kind and have always been a good friend. I really do not deserve kind words from you, that is why they mean so much to me right now.

[hannahwood]

I'm glad you two are doing so great. I got to speak to Rufus a little last night and he was the happiest I have seen him since I first met him. You guys make a great couple. Next time he's in Finland how about a double date? ::laughs:: Rufus and I were thinking maybe at a karaoke bar...

[fab_boy]

When you are willing to push aside your pride and fall down at someone's feet and give yourself over as an offering.

And I have to respond by picking you up off your knees and kissing your mouth. Accepting forgiveness takes as much courage as offering it... if not more. You are very brave, Juska. You recovered from a period of weakness to exhibit such strength... I am in awe.

And I dare the world to stop me because I am as defiant as can be with a sword in one hand and a shield protecting him in the other.

I love that image. And it makes me feel so safe and very loved. *grins* Do I get to call you my knight in shining armour, now? I love you.

I am almost free from these shackles of self loathing; his love has given me the strength to look within myself and find value and worth there.I think this is the best news I could hear. I am so glad you are feeling happy. But as long as you understand that I know you won't always feel this way, and that's okay. You've managed to love me through my claws and teeth... and I've loved

[juskasalminen]

I do not think accepting forgiveness takes courage; it is an easy think to take when it is something you have longed for like a drug. You should not be in awe of me, I have done nothing other than love you. All I ask is for your love in return.

I get to call you my knight in shining armour, now? I love you.

You can call me anything you like, my love.

You know better than anyone that I am feeling happy. I appreciate you understanding who I am and that I cannot always be this person as much as I try. Where on earth did you learn to become so caring and wise? I like the thought of us being able to survive anything, it is very encouraging to hear…and I feel it to.

[fab_boy]

I do not think accepting forgiveness takes courage

I beg to differ, love. Accepting forgiveness means you feel the need to be forgive... which means you've taken responsibility for your actions. And that is a brave thing to do. It's a strong thing to do. And that's why I'm in awe. ... because you're transforming before my eyes... so different from the shell I saw a month ago.

You have my love, baby. For as long as we can both withstand it ;)

Where on earth did you learn to become so caring and wise?

It's all a hoax. I'm still the jaded diva I always was ;)

But seriously... I worried that a part of what went wrong with us was that maybe you were feeling like you had to be this specific sort of person for my sake. That you always had to be happy. Which is preposterous. I'm not always happy. And who wants to be happy all the time, anyway? You'd become numb to it. The only way to truly appreciate joy is to have experienced pain

[juskasalminen]

I wanted your forgiveness. You know if I could go back and right my wrongs I would have. My behaviour was disgusting and reprehensible and I am deeply regretful for all of the pain I caused you and all the damage I have done to our relationship. At least we are on the right course now, you have given me a second chance, something I do not take lightly. I know it was difficult for you. I was tired of being an empty shell. My heart had grown cold, had grown hard. It was appalling because I robbed myself of who I really am. I am trying to get better, I have been working on myself. I know that I am no good to you if I come to you in a million different pieces.

You have my love, baby. For as long as we can both withstand it ;)I will enjoy every moment of enduring it

[valo]

Congratulations.

[fab_boy]

Such a heartfelt sentiment. I'm touched.

[juskasalminen]

I knew he did not really mean it. That is why I did not justify it with a response.

Re:

[fab_boy]

Yeah, but you're way more mature than me ;)

[john_ox]

This brings a smile to my face. I couldn't be happier for the both of you.

[juskasalminen]

Thank you, John. That is very sweet, especially considering we do not really know one another. It feels good to not feel like the worst person to walk the earth anymore.