Fanfic: Shattered Glass - Chapter 8: Consequences
Fanfic masterpost
Chapter 7: Battle
Chapter 8: Consequences
It had been a one-hour flight back to Washington, but it’d felt like an eternity. Spencer had been fidgeting all along and it hadn’t been easy for Derek to fight the urge to just take him in his arms and hold him.
The others probably wouldn’t have minded; they weren’t coming back from just any case, after all. But they had rules, he and Spencer. In three years, they’d only broken them once: at the hospital, after JJ had given them the news of Emily’s death, they had looked for comfort in each other with a long hug and a few quick kisses.
So, no matter how easy it would have been to take the empty seat next to Spencer and run his fingers through his hair, Derek had stayed where he was.
It was only when they finally got home (Derek’s apartment, in this case; but they’d taken up the habit of calling home both of their houses) - it was only then that Derek stopped being SSA Morgan to be just Spencer’s boyfriend.
Spencer collapsed on the couch, drained of all energies. He begun to fight with the buttons of his jacket, fingers clumsy due to tiredness. Exhausted and frustrated, he started crying.
In a few quick steps, Derek was by his side. He sat down next to him and wrapped his arms around his body, pulling him to his chest. Spencer buried his face in Derek’s shoulder. Quiet sobs shook his body for a few moments, then he calmed down.
He felt better now. Derek’s arms were a comforting weight on his back, and his body felt warm and safe.
He hadn’t cried for Emily in all those months, not since the hospital. It was like he’d been holding his breath all along, waiting for Doyle to be behind bars before he could let go.
Derek was running a hand up and down his spine now and Spencer snuggled into the embrace. With Derek, he didn’t need to explain. Didn’t need to tell him he felt better now. Derek already knew, just as he knew that Spencer needed to be held for a few more minutes.
“I haven’t thanked you yet,” Derek said eventually. “It would have been a mistake, even though he deserves to die.”
Spencer disentangled himself from Derek’s embrace and looked at him. “You’re welcome,” he said, and that was all they needed to say about it.
“I feel like I could sleep for three weeks,” Spencer said after a few minutes of silence. His head was resting on Derek’s shoulder and they were holding hands.
“Sorry, baby, we only got one day off.”
“Then we’ll keep on running on coffee, I guess.”
Derek smiled. “Just like we’ve been doing even since we joined the BAU.”
~
Derek didn’t feel like celebrating: what was there to celebrate after all? Emily was still dead. It was, at best, half a victory.
Still, Spencer had insisted. He’d gone on for five minutes talking about closure and rites of passage and Derek sort of agreed with him: they had to find a way to mark the end of a chapter and move on. If Spencer thought a romantic dinner would be a good start, romantic dinner it was.
They ate their food talking about anything but work: a particularly interesting book Spencer had read recently, a car Derek was considering on buying, the endlessly postponed project of moving in together, the upcoming Halloween party Spencer had talked Derek into attending and what costumes would they wear.
After quickly clearing the table and loading the dishwasher, they moved to the living room with a bottle of wine and a slice of cake. Spencer had picked the wine, insisting Derek was an expert on club drinks but didn’t know much about wines; while the cake - a creamy raspberry cheesecake - had been Derek’s choice.
“That was nice,” Derek said after they’d finished the cake. “We should do this more often.”
“We would, if we didn’t get a call from Hotch or Garcia every time we try.” Spencer was still nursing his glass of wine. “I’m quite surprised it hasn’t happened yet tonight.”
“Don’t jinx it.”
“Sorry. I take it back.” He took a last long sip at his wine, then set the empty glass next to Derek’s on the small table in front of them. He settled more comfortably on the couch, resting his weight against Derek’s side. He felt Derek’s arm was around his shoulders and closed his eyes for a few moments.
After a few minutes of easy silence had gone by, Spencer reopened his eyes and looked at Derek. Their lips met in a kiss, soft at first, but then more and more passionate as their bodies responded to it. Soon enough Spencer was lying on his back with Derek on top of him and their hands were tracing known paths over their arms, chests and backs.
Derek took off his own shirt first, then unbuttoned Spencer’s. His fingers lingered for a few moments on Spencer’s nipples, torturing them and making him sigh with pleasure. Then, they moved down his stomach to stroke his already half-hard cock through the fabric of his pants. Spencer arched his back slightly and lifted his hips, urging for more contact.
“Easy, baby, we’ve got all night,” Derek whispered in his ear.
Spencer’s only answer was a trail of kisses down Derek’s neck to his shoulder. His long fingers lingered on Derek’s naked skin for a few moments, running up and down his chest, then he pushed him slightly away to make him get up. They both removed quickly the clothes they were still wearing, then their hands were all over each other once again. Still standing, Spencer wrapped his arms around Derek’s neck and kissed him, as Derek slid his hands down Spencer’s thighs and then lifted him up. He moved a few steps forward towards the door, careful not to bump into anything, but Spencer didn’t seem to get enough of his lips and kept on kissing him. Instead of heading to the bedroom, Derek paused next to the living room door. He pressed Spencer’s back to the doorframe.
“Stop kissing me like that or I’ll drop you,” he said when Spencer let go of his lips for a second.
“You can kick down a door but you can’t carry your boyfriend to the bedroom, now?” Spencer smiled and kissed him again.
“It’s hard to-” The rest of Derek’s words were swallowed in Spencer’s mouth.
Derek kissed him back, then bent his head to the side so he could reach Spencer’s neck and torture the hot skin there. Spencer moaned and pressed his thighs more tightly against Derek’s hips, making him sigh.
“I want to fuck you so hard,” Derek said in a low, husky voice.
Hands firm under Spencer’s thighs, he moved away from the doorframe and towards the bedroom, finally laying him down on the bed. He watched as Spencer settled himself against the pillows, then joined him on the bed. He ran a hand down Spencer’s chest, watching him as he licked his lips.
Spencer rolled to his side and immediately felt the familiar heat of Derek’s body against his back. A strong hand found its place on his hip; their bodies brushed against each other as Derek shifted slightly to position himself better.
“I want you,” whispered Spencer. “Now.”
Derek sucked his fingers for a couple of seconds, then used them to prepare Spencer. When he finally pushed himself inside him, Spencer arched his back and a soft moan escaped his lips. Derek felt a hand on his thigh, hot skin burning against hot skin. He buried himself deeper inside him, and when Spencer tilted his head to the side to look at him over his shoulder, he kissed him passionately - his body, tongue and hands dancing the same dance.
Feeling close to orgasm, he slid his hand down to wrap his fingers around Spencer’s cock. He came a few moments later and buried his face in the crook of Spencer’s neck. He felt all Spencer’s muscles tense for a second as orgasm overcame him and he moaned Derek’s name, then he relaxed against him.
Derek kept an arm around his waist as they both laid there in silence, simply enjoying the pleasurable moments right after sex. Spencer snuggled into his embrace and closed his eyes.
“I love you,” whispered Derek after a few minutes.
Spencer rolled over on his back and looked at him, smiling. “I love you, too.”
Derek’s eyes lingered for a few moments on his boyfriend’s lean body, feeling happy just because Spencer looked comfortable at being naked in front of him, when he usually was so awkward with anybody else, even with his clothes to shield him. He kissed his lips lightly, then rested his forehead against his.
“What do we do now?”
Derek thought about it. “We find a way to move on.”
“I’m scared I will lose you too,” Spencer confessed. “I mean, more scared than before. I’ve always known that what we do is dangerous, but somehow we’d always managed to survive, you know? Before, it was just statistics of how many agents die on the job every year. I can deal with numbers. They are abstract, they are impersonal. They are not you and me and Emily and our team. What if-what if it is a sign, that we should stop doing what we do?”
“I don’t believe any God or whatever’s up there would kill Emily just to give us a sign. But if you’re asking me if I’m scared-yes, I am. And yes, sometimes I wonder if we shouldn’t just leave the BAU and do something less dangerous.”
Spencer closed his eyes for a moment, then re-opened them and moved away a little so he could look at him. “Be we’re not going to quit.”
“No, we’re not.”
Chapter 9: Mind
Chapter 7: Battle
Chapter 8: Consequences
It had been a one-hour flight back to Washington, but it’d felt like an eternity. Spencer had been fidgeting all along and it hadn’t been easy for Derek to fight the urge to just take him in his arms and hold him.
The others probably wouldn’t have minded; they weren’t coming back from just any case, after all. But they had rules, he and Spencer. In three years, they’d only broken them once: at the hospital, after JJ had given them the news of Emily’s death, they had looked for comfort in each other with a long hug and a few quick kisses.
So, no matter how easy it would have been to take the empty seat next to Spencer and run his fingers through his hair, Derek had stayed where he was.
It was only when they finally got home (Derek’s apartment, in this case; but they’d taken up the habit of calling home both of their houses) - it was only then that Derek stopped being SSA Morgan to be just Spencer’s boyfriend.
Spencer collapsed on the couch, drained of all energies. He begun to fight with the buttons of his jacket, fingers clumsy due to tiredness. Exhausted and frustrated, he started crying.
In a few quick steps, Derek was by his side. He sat down next to him and wrapped his arms around his body, pulling him to his chest. Spencer buried his face in Derek’s shoulder. Quiet sobs shook his body for a few moments, then he calmed down.
He felt better now. Derek’s arms were a comforting weight on his back, and his body felt warm and safe.
He hadn’t cried for Emily in all those months, not since the hospital. It was like he’d been holding his breath all along, waiting for Doyle to be behind bars before he could let go.
Derek was running a hand up and down his spine now and Spencer snuggled into the embrace. With Derek, he didn’t need to explain. Didn’t need to tell him he felt better now. Derek already knew, just as he knew that Spencer needed to be held for a few more minutes.
“I haven’t thanked you yet,” Derek said eventually. “It would have been a mistake, even though he deserves to die.”
Spencer disentangled himself from Derek’s embrace and looked at him. “You’re welcome,” he said, and that was all they needed to say about it.
“I feel like I could sleep for three weeks,” Spencer said after a few minutes of silence. His head was resting on Derek’s shoulder and they were holding hands.
“Sorry, baby, we only got one day off.”
“Then we’ll keep on running on coffee, I guess.”
Derek smiled. “Just like we’ve been doing even since we joined the BAU.”
~
Derek didn’t feel like celebrating: what was there to celebrate after all? Emily was still dead. It was, at best, half a victory.
Still, Spencer had insisted. He’d gone on for five minutes talking about closure and rites of passage and Derek sort of agreed with him: they had to find a way to mark the end of a chapter and move on. If Spencer thought a romantic dinner would be a good start, romantic dinner it was.
They ate their food talking about anything but work: a particularly interesting book Spencer had read recently, a car Derek was considering on buying, the endlessly postponed project of moving in together, the upcoming Halloween party Spencer had talked Derek into attending and what costumes would they wear.
After quickly clearing the table and loading the dishwasher, they moved to the living room with a bottle of wine and a slice of cake. Spencer had picked the wine, insisting Derek was an expert on club drinks but didn’t know much about wines; while the cake - a creamy raspberry cheesecake - had been Derek’s choice.
“That was nice,” Derek said after they’d finished the cake. “We should do this more often.”
“We would, if we didn’t get a call from Hotch or Garcia every time we try.” Spencer was still nursing his glass of wine. “I’m quite surprised it hasn’t happened yet tonight.”
“Don’t jinx it.”
“Sorry. I take it back.” He took a last long sip at his wine, then set the empty glass next to Derek’s on the small table in front of them. He settled more comfortably on the couch, resting his weight against Derek’s side. He felt Derek’s arm was around his shoulders and closed his eyes for a few moments.
After a few minutes of easy silence had gone by, Spencer reopened his eyes and looked at Derek. Their lips met in a kiss, soft at first, but then more and more passionate as their bodies responded to it. Soon enough Spencer was lying on his back with Derek on top of him and their hands were tracing known paths over their arms, chests and backs.
Derek took off his own shirt first, then unbuttoned Spencer’s. His fingers lingered for a few moments on Spencer’s nipples, torturing them and making him sigh with pleasure. Then, they moved down his stomach to stroke his already half-hard cock through the fabric of his pants. Spencer arched his back slightly and lifted his hips, urging for more contact.
“Easy, baby, we’ve got all night,” Derek whispered in his ear.
Spencer’s only answer was a trail of kisses down Derek’s neck to his shoulder. His long fingers lingered on Derek’s naked skin for a few moments, running up and down his chest, then he pushed him slightly away to make him get up. They both removed quickly the clothes they were still wearing, then their hands were all over each other once again. Still standing, Spencer wrapped his arms around Derek’s neck and kissed him, as Derek slid his hands down Spencer’s thighs and then lifted him up. He moved a few steps forward towards the door, careful not to bump into anything, but Spencer didn’t seem to get enough of his lips and kept on kissing him. Instead of heading to the bedroom, Derek paused next to the living room door. He pressed Spencer’s back to the doorframe.
“Stop kissing me like that or I’ll drop you,” he said when Spencer let go of his lips for a second.
“You can kick down a door but you can’t carry your boyfriend to the bedroom, now?” Spencer smiled and kissed him again.
“It’s hard to-” The rest of Derek’s words were swallowed in Spencer’s mouth.
Derek kissed him back, then bent his head to the side so he could reach Spencer’s neck and torture the hot skin there. Spencer moaned and pressed his thighs more tightly against Derek’s hips, making him sigh.
“I want to fuck you so hard,” Derek said in a low, husky voice.
Hands firm under Spencer’s thighs, he moved away from the doorframe and towards the bedroom, finally laying him down on the bed. He watched as Spencer settled himself against the pillows, then joined him on the bed. He ran a hand down Spencer’s chest, watching him as he licked his lips.
Spencer rolled to his side and immediately felt the familiar heat of Derek’s body against his back. A strong hand found its place on his hip; their bodies brushed against each other as Derek shifted slightly to position himself better.
“I want you,” whispered Spencer. “Now.”
Derek sucked his fingers for a couple of seconds, then used them to prepare Spencer. When he finally pushed himself inside him, Spencer arched his back and a soft moan escaped his lips. Derek felt a hand on his thigh, hot skin burning against hot skin. He buried himself deeper inside him, and when Spencer tilted his head to the side to look at him over his shoulder, he kissed him passionately - his body, tongue and hands dancing the same dance.
Feeling close to orgasm, he slid his hand down to wrap his fingers around Spencer’s cock. He came a few moments later and buried his face in the crook of Spencer’s neck. He felt all Spencer’s muscles tense for a second as orgasm overcame him and he moaned Derek’s name, then he relaxed against him.
Derek kept an arm around his waist as they both laid there in silence, simply enjoying the pleasurable moments right after sex. Spencer snuggled into his embrace and closed his eyes.
“I love you,” whispered Derek after a few minutes.
Spencer rolled over on his back and looked at him, smiling. “I love you, too.”
Derek’s eyes lingered for a few moments on his boyfriend’s lean body, feeling happy just because Spencer looked comfortable at being naked in front of him, when he usually was so awkward with anybody else, even with his clothes to shield him. He kissed his lips lightly, then rested his forehead against his.
“What do we do now?”
Derek thought about it. “We find a way to move on.”
“I’m scared I will lose you too,” Spencer confessed. “I mean, more scared than before. I’ve always known that what we do is dangerous, but somehow we’d always managed to survive, you know? Before, it was just statistics of how many agents die on the job every year. I can deal with numbers. They are abstract, they are impersonal. They are not you and me and Emily and our team. What if-what if it is a sign, that we should stop doing what we do?”
“I don’t believe any God or whatever’s up there would kill Emily just to give us a sign. But if you’re asking me if I’m scared-yes, I am. And yes, sometimes I wonder if we shouldn’t just leave the BAU and do something less dangerous.”
Spencer closed his eyes for a moment, then re-opened them and moved away a little so he could look at him. “Be we’re not going to quit.”
“No, we’re not.”
Chapter 9: Mind