This is my last entry.

fuck i feel so much better. everything is just fucking awesome, i got no beef with it anymore. there is nothing. i can beat box again, not that I ever stopped. but i'm not just doing the same 3 beats anymore, i can come up with others no problem, and i can freestyle again. i got stoned a few times since i felt nothing, and i've been fine, well not ( Read more... )

Smoked today and I was fine. Well, not fine, fucking high. Then I smoked another with Chris Paul, and I was even higher.

All in all, I'm more clear headed. Not really, but I still feel so much fucking better about me. I was spinning out of control for so long, now I have taken control. I'm not stuck in one sprial of thoughts anymore.

...

I got fucked up. Everything was there. Then I was nothing. Finally was fucking nothing, something I've wanted my whole life. I thought I was going to have to die to have it. But I don't. Not anymore.

And I conquered it. I am Lauren Foote. No beef

Peace and Love

Last night, as I lay in bed, trying to fall asleep... something fucked up happened ( Read more... )

10 days of school left. Then life. I can't wait.

Last night was fun :) I stayed the night at Dustins with Beth. It was awesome, we watched John Tucker Must Die, and John Tucker was sooo sexy and so was the lead chick in it. She just kept on getting hotter throughout the movie. Then we watched Stay Alive, that movie was fucked up. Dusty watched it with his eyes closed because he was sleepy. Me and ( Read more... )

I didn't have any smokes yesterday. I had one earlier, and near the end I started shaking. Not the shakes, but like, on the inside. It's still going. WTF. Fucking fuck.

Christmas was fine. My parents spent the whole time pretending there wasn't a problem and that we are just one big happy fucking family. We get home, my sister goes to nanny's and my parents bitch me out in 3 different ways in 2 sentences. At dinner they gave me shit about school in front of Robyn. Whatever whatever whatever. One way or another, I' ( Read more... )

Just shut up and fuck off.