there's a newspaper spilled open on my floor to the apartments-for-rent section, my interest in cheap things marked by blue pen curves around the sides. not full circles, as if this will help me deny it later. as if this makes it half invisible, these half circles, so i can say that i was never this way. lost, and searching for a home to call my ( Read more... )

the lyrics to the music playing in the car while they were driving were "...and it's nearly midnight and all i want with my life is to be your housewife is to die your housewife..." and she was mouthing the words but with her lips closed so it looked like she was swallowing them instead of saying them.

"oh my life has become one sad, lonely blur. of everyone else's actions making up my coincidences. i'm living off of observation and poetic theft.

where i once was in the middle i am now tangental, and so so alone."

i am slowly forgetting what it is like to love life.

(in my head last night my voice was a subtle french accent, the kind that told you i was on foreign ground but had been here a long time) when i said "lonely."
"but i'm right here," he said.
"no you are not," i replied without contraction. "you are in seattle, you are in new york..."

"i'm right here." as he failed to wrap himself around me.

( Read more... )

earlier in the night i had told him, forward facing in his car exhaling smoke and slowly and deliberately as if with commas between each word, "i know me. i'll do what i want and not what i should." so later, with my back against his stomach, like right against, his body a snake me an s in form with him, when i said, "i like you a lot, james" and ( Read more... )

i think i like you the most because you're the only person i can be alone with.

i've become a nobody loves me. without the comfort of his being and his being being mine i have no time to observe the world. he was right when he said i'm just feeling it ( Read more... )

"i'm going to stick stars all over my face for when he comes back."

and then she did, and sat there and waited.