Comments | justholdstill: A Darker Shade of Twilight

justholdstill

A Darker Shade of Twilight

Sep 11, 2005 07:00

Title: A Darker Shade of Twilight
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Rating: R-ish
Category: Angst (As Usual)
Warnings: Slash
Summary: Snapshots of a relationship over the years

( It's not his fault when the first snow comes... )

fanfic

Comments 14

musesfool September 13 2005, 00:57:49 UTC

here via a rec from underlucius - oh, this is so true of them, and so sad and delicate. Lovely.

kethlenda September 13 2005, 01:41:28 UTC

This is so beautifully written and so bittersweet; I especially love the way they don't know how to express the feelings they have about being reunited.

There are all these little details that just work; one that comes to mind is Remus having books in the bedcovers. That's happened to me and to so many other bookwormy people I've known, and it just makes the characters so real.

justholdstill September 13 2005, 02:06:00 UTC

Thank you so much! I'm awfully fond of Remus' bookwormy-ness too, being so much that way myself.

cloudofcalm September 13 2005, 01:49:29 UTC

Oh God. Here via underlucius's recc, and I'm all snuffly now. It's the resignation in the final paragraph, that they're there again, and they've lost so much, and the struggle they had to be in love against a war. And yes it's beautiful, little things like the 'stone-sea' and the 'pale-moths'.

I love your writing.

justholdstill September 13 2005, 02:09:20 UTC

Thank you! Comments like yours make me hugely hapyy.

dreamsinvisible September 14 2005, 01:09:29 UTC

Here via underlucius.

This is so beautiful. You really have a wonderful writing style. So unique, richly descriptive, and great flow to the story.

bloodrebel333 September 15 2005, 16:01:55 UTC

I like your poetic way of portraying so marvellously how it went in your eyes, and I like your phrases (Lord and Master of All That is Obscene I appreciate, because not many would dare to do or say this) that make a whole of this.

A few nitpicks, though (nothing too drastic, just typos):

and Sirius buries his face in the back of Remus' neck. smelling soap and paper and the faintest musk of fur. -- I assume that you meant to put a comma after Remus' neck.

Also:

If they were wiser, the would know to think of themselves as lost -- they would know, not the.

I enjoyed this: thank you.

justholdstill September 15 2005, 23:36:54 UTC

Thank you so much for the kind review, and also for catching my silly typos. Shall fix them right away!