it has been an interesting journey with you.
i am leaving the world of LJ.

see you somewhere else in cyberspace or real life.

GOODBYE.

So, I'm back in SB from UCSD.  QPC was this weekend, and it was...okay.  Our delegation was good though.  I think we all got a chance to bond.  The conference itself was alright, but omggg, everything else was so weird and awkward for me.  It's like, so many things were crashing into me: past, present, future.  It was all so uncomfortable ( Read more... )

I am SO sick.  I went to Student Health yesterday and he never told me what I contracted or what was wrong with me.  He just said I was at a very crucial point--I can either get drastically worse or recover.  Well, thanks?  So he prescribed me like, 6 medications.  One of them has codeine in it.  That shit's craaaazy.  But I kept waking up during ( Read more... )

Was that the epiphany I needed?
I don't think it was an epiphany...but...it put things in hella perspective.  It kind of released something from my heart.  Hmm...

We'll see.

I still care about you, but in a different way now.  I respect you.

JRR.

I am.
And, I recognize it.
I've lost control of a lot of things.
And, I'm severely broken.  From so many things.  And people.

I need to regain control.
But, I'm spiraling.

I read amazing articles for my Womyn of Color class, and Asian American Sexualities class.  I'm sometimes moved to tears.  I eat up the stories, the lives, the experiences.  I feel ( Read more... )

I've been smoking cigarettes again.
I stopped smoking for him.
Did you know that?

I opened The Box tonight.  For the first time in 6 weeks.
I cried.

"Your left calf is bigger than your right," some guy at my apartment said.
"Thank you for pointing out my flaws," I said. Motherfucker, I thought.

Spiraling.
Downward.
Crashing.
Burning.
No stability.
Clouded in ( Read more... )

I want this week to be over ( Read more... )

I've never felt so tired.  I mean, I've been tired before.  I've gone 48 hours without sleep.  I've stayed up late studying, making posters, getting drunk, etc. etc.  But, I've never felt as tired as I do now in my whole life.

MY WHOLE LIFE!

I've stayed up until at least 3AM every night this week.  I had a midterm today (that I probably did horribly ( Read more... )

Go and hide and run away
Run away, run and find something better
Go and ride the sun away
Run away like it's simple
Like it's right...
"Still Hurting" from The Last Five Years

Another part of the song...

Jamie is over and where can I turn?
Covered with scars I did nothing to earn
Maybe there's somewhere a lesson to learn
But that wouldn't change the fact
( Read more... )

This weekend has been a roller coaster.

It basically started on Thursday, which started off really shitty, but ended up kinda great.  Friday, I got to sleep in, then Tuyen and I had lunch at Pho Bistro.  Yummmm.  #31 all the way.  Then we watched 27 Dresses, which I thought was really cute!  It was a movie about growth, in different capacities, at ( Read more... )