today would have been my brothers birthday, he died three weeks ago though. three weeks, it really seems like two long days. two long drawn out days of living in my head, thinking, feeling some and thinking more. thinking about the room we shared, the clothes, the bikes, the feelings. the walks to school on cool and cold mornings. thinking about ( Read more... )

i dont subscribe to superstition, ive never needed it. i would like to know the comfort of superstition, the comfort that after three it gets better, i dont subscribe to superstition.

can i get a moment and not be nervous. i am afraid of loosing things so i sell them. its not so much the money i want to gain as the fear i want to shed. still, can i get a moment and not be nervous. i do like how quiet things are getting, i can almost focus. toxins must be leaving.

you think there will be more time, there will always be more time. a year or more goes by and you think you will talk them later, next month or whenever, whats the rush. another year and then several more, a phone call from one of them brings me back to being young, how you taught me to shoot pool, talked me through my first death and seriously ( Read more... )

brain is empty soul ran away
an empty shell is here today
want fantastic want to be fun
subtle reminders that i am no one
come into my head here and there
comfort is way over there!

( Read more... )

yea not what i though but i suppose that is not much of a surprise. ya know a bunch of this stuff i write about must not make much sense to any of the people who read this. i mean i just start at a thought i have and go from there without giving any type of insight into what it is im actually thinking about. you know come to think of it i kind of ( Read more... )

it seems like im stretched out, like i need to do something for myself rather than continue doing things for other people so often. i use to not give people much and i am beginning to kind of remember why, they ask for more. i suppose it is somewhat of a compliment considering that they think enough of me to ask me for my help but its strange

what is that glorious smell? oh, its victory! yes, i have become victorious against my own victory defeating it like never before. oh, yea, come on try it again i dare you. psh, last time that will try to come around here. yea so im just gonna dwell in my gain against victory and see where it takes me, most likely it will be somewhere bad but hey ( Read more... )

i have drawn around 100 ellipses in the past two days or so, nothing but ellipses. thats all you are you know, a bunch of ellipses. you will never be a perfect circle because you are not well rounded so just enjoy the oblong shape you have and try not to look to desperate. foundation is important, so is fruit. kiwi is where its at, i dont think i ( Read more... )