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I don't want to be here anymore
May 11, 2023
Yeah Yeah Yeah, It’s been a while since I have written. Not as long as some breaks I have taken. I just have a lot on my mind. I want to be able to let TS go. Loving him, being in love with him, and wanting him is doing nothing for me but hurting me, over and over and over again. I want to be loved…like really fully loved. I want ( Read more... ) -
A mini Entry...
May 5, 2023
This Way - Khalid x H.E.R.
Smoke - Victoria Monet and Lucky Daye
Imported - Jessie Reyez and 6lack
I always feel like TS is watching everything I do, and every choice I make, and dissecting and judging it.
This Way
Khalid x H.E.R.
This very first verse…OH my god…!
I am not even gonna quote it, just listen to it for real…both sides for ( Read more... ) -
P I E R R E
May 2, 2023
I asked TS if he wanted to hang out today and I was rejected. Sometimes he acts like it is this huge existential conundrum on whether to see me or not. I don’t understand why things can’t just be easy. I don’t think it is really THAT hard to be happy. Not really.
I watched the Michelle Obama Interview with Oprah On Netflix today…And she ( Read more... ) -
I Can't Be. Can I?
4:40 am
April 30, 2023
Let us consider for a moment that we are both narcissists.
Had that thought ever crossed my mind before? Not really. I mean maybe in passing wondering what narcissistic traits I myself held. Because everyone has at least one right? So What if I am a full blown Narc too? What if he and I are both covert narcs. I never really ( Read more... ) -
Sleep Eluded Me
Mr. Jones - Counting Crows
Constantly - Immature
2:20 a.m.
April 29, 2023
Mr. Jones - Counting Crows
“Well, I'm gonna paint my picture
Paint myself in blue and red and black and gray
All of the beautiful colors are very, very meaningful
Yeah, well, you know grey is my favorite color”.
Let us Just Jump right into the playlist for Christ's sake. This is ( Read more... ) -
C Y C L E S
When We (Remix) - Tank, Ty Dolla $ign, Trey Songz
You Know I’m No Good - Amy Winehouse
The Sound Of Silence - Disturbed
If You Want Love - NF
Alone - Heart
April 28, 2023
It has been a few days since I have written…I really don’t want to get out of the habit…I am REALLY trying to focus here. But there have been some events the past few days that ( Read more... ) -
The Randomness of it All
Joyner Lucas - Fall Slowly
Kito and Bea Miller - Steal My Clothes
April 23, 2023
Just because you are hurting doesn’t mean you get to hurt other people
The theme for today’s journal entry
This goes for me just as much as it can be applied to TS. We hurt each other…again, and again, and again.
Joyner Lucas - Fall Slowly
“And every time we separate ( Read more... ) -
I think this is what they call "flow"
Whitney Houston - I Wanna Dance With Somebody
Jessie Reyes - Before Love Came to Kill Us
April 22, 2023
They say to write what you know…right? Well, the only thing I know for sure right now is that I am confused, lost, and heartbroken. I am doing fuck shit just to be doing it, and no one really means anything to me except for TS and that isn’t ( Read more... ) -
Where we are Starting
*names have been changed
Foolish-Ashanti
Boy's A Liar Pt. 2-PinkPantheress and Ice Spice
Drunk Me-Mitchell TenPenny
Pride-MoneyBagg Yo
Jealous-Nick Jonas
April 21, 2023
I am not even sure where I want to start with this. I just know that at the very beginning…it really all starts…and ends with TS. I don’t know that I will ever actually betray him ( Read more... ) -
An Introduction of Sorts
Hi, I am Shannon. I am 40 years old and I am a fuck up.
I hope that whoever finds my journal will see, they are not the only fuck up in the world
cue up
Jelly Roll Fuck Up on your Spotify, please :)
I will speak at great length about my life as details unfold from my brain each day, and maybe you as readers can help me figure it all out. I ( Read more... )