so anyway, I dont know what to put here anymore im like totally like non-emotional, I thought it was just finally feeling better but now im starting to wonder if its just that ive forgotten what feeling good feels like. Maybe ive blown another emotional fuse. Im leaning towards that now. This kinda sucks, Being a musician and all and being really ( Read more... )

Maybe Im not fine, maybe Im just in denial. I dont know anymore. If i was really back I wouldnt have been all like im sorry about it. but I was. Am I lying to myself? probably. Its the first really chilly night this year. Walking outside I was reminded of going to the Headless horseman hayrides with her back in the day. When you get out into that ( Read more... )

I took a very long, very hot shower, and It felt like a deep spiritual cleansing. damn thats good soap! All I can say is look out, Im back bitches and I got your number. Im back with a vengance I know what I want and I know what I need and I know where Im going and I know what I have to do to get there. Eastman or Curtis, one way or the other I ( Read more... )

20 days. I have to figure out what train we are going to take to po-town, she might want to take amtrak but jesus im poor and if we got an off peak metro noth it would be like 12.75 I dunno If she wants to take amtrak im gonna go with her because im a pathetic lump and i need her but I hope she can be convinced otherwise because im poor as fuck.

Wow. I just woke up. Last night was an absolute disaster. I really think this time Im hurt deeper than can just be fixed with words. I thought last night after she called again I would be fine, but after seeing what I saw, I really think this time, my heart is really broken this time. I never dreamed this would happen. Why couldnt it have just ( Read more... )

What the fuck. I finally did talk to her it diddnt help at all. She just jumped down my throat big time. I guess some friend of hers was havinga rough time. I guess ive also been guilting her. I guess im just a total pathetic wimp ( Read more... )

ive tried to get in touch with her but i think shes sick of me for real this time. I told her I wouldnt bother her again and that she had promised shed be there if i needed her to talk or w/e so i guess this is the end and now I really feel like Ive lost everything that ever meant anything to me in my life because I loved her and I meant it I lived ( Read more... )

please god even if she doesnt love me anymore I need someone to talk to and shes the only one i can talk to about this stuff she promised me shed always bethere if I needed her like this but nowI do I really really do and shes not there and its all my own fault I need to talk to her or im gonna really go off the deep end im teetering on the brink ( Read more... )

Im alone now and I am scared what I might do Im so confused and afraid rightnow what have I done what is going to happen it feels like it really is the end I never thought it would happen I feel like Ive lost everything now and worse i made her upset i cant do anything right anymore and I think shes not talking to me i never thought it would come ( Read more... )

ohmy god I cannot believe this is happening I tried to not look at her profile on facebook but i did I feel like crying why do words make me feel like this now shes like depressed or so says her away message oh god what have I done. I cant believe I just saw that on there. Dating random play relationships I still love her so much and despite the ( Read more... )