Don't give up hope! Some sites are *a lot* better than others. I met Karl through OkCupid. He first contacted me the day after my birthday last year. Unlike almost everyone else I had already met through that site, he wasn't affiliated with CMU (and thus unable to have any sort of friend of friend connection), so we emailed back & forth for almost 2 months before progressing to IM, telephone, and finally meeting for a date.
And now we honestly have the best, most mature relationship I could have ever imagined.
Congratulations!! I have other friends who have also had success with personals, and it was one reason why I was curious to try it out. But I think a hiatus for me is definitely in order for now. Although, maybe I will return to it later!!
Thanks, Andrea. You are right on the money. It's too bad it took me a few months of personals experience to discover this is really true. I guess I am very picky, and do not have such a strong desire to date at the moment that I can compromise yet. This experience with personals did help me confirm what I believe is my type, and I am happy for that. Now, I am just going to be patient and keep an eye out. I really think its safer and more fun, especially since I am in no rush really. Part of the thing with the personals is that I never really was that interested in dating, just meeting people. Perhaps when I get a bit more serious about dating, i'll return to personals with my detailed checklist :)
My problem with online dating is the people you meet aren't a representative sample of the world at large. OKCupid was full of bored college kids, Match.com had lots of desperate people, and MySpace was a weird mix of "here for dating"/"here to post inane comments about my friends". Personally, I want a site for shy, introverted people in their mid to late twenties who think too much and drink the liberal kool-aid. And having their life at least vaguely together would be a plus
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ahhh the anonymous responder. everytime i have one, it makes me wonder who really reads this thing. ehh, f*ck it, i don't care. but it's nice to guess who it is. i think i have a good clue. i didn't intend this to be a flame war-- it's not nice to call my other responders failures!! you just weren't compatible, okay?? and personals does work for some people. for those few, congratulations. ohhh, and yes-- it was nice to leave pittsburgh for a change of pace. i was afraid of growing complacent there. i do miss it very much, though. and if i have guessed right, I miss you a lot, too-- even though you are not still there. Why are you such an ass, and won't talk to me anymore?? it really hurts. it's nice to know that you still care a tad to read up on me though. sorry if i have this all wrong. and if anything, i needed to vent.
I'm sorry, you've got the wrong end of the stick here. I'm a friend of someone on your friend's list whom you've never met. I'm not whoever you're missing, I just stumbled across your post and couldn't resist chiming in about dating.
Also, when I said the people on your friends list were failures, I meant that they were failures at setting me up on dates because I'd just said in my post that I thought the way to go was to meet friends-of-friends; I was just joking, not criticizing anyone.
Finally, don't be sorry about the mistaken identity thing - I assure you, it doesn't bother me, although I feel bad that you felt bad because you thought I was someone else. But don't feel bad that I feel bad that you felt bad because that would just be too ridiculous, okay?
ohh, well I appreciate you stopping by and contributing to the conversation! I don't have a very big friends list (not a proactive live journal user), so I never thought anyone unknown to me would respond...however, I am glad you did. I do agree with your argument of the probability and sampling behind personals. I couldn't have said it better. Good luck, and I hope your friends start to pull through for you again.
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And now we honestly have the best, most mature relationship I could have ever imagined.
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Also, when I said the people on your friends list were failures, I meant that they were failures at setting me up on dates because I'd just said in my post that I thought the way to go was to meet friends-of-friends; I was just joking, not criticizing anyone.
Finally, don't be sorry about the mistaken identity thing - I assure you, it doesn't bother me, although I feel bad that you felt bad because you thought I was someone else. But don't feel bad that I feel bad that you felt bad because that would just be too ridiculous, okay?
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