Arashi: Something Worth Wishing For, part 1
AUTHOR: marineko/mylittlecthulhu
FANDOM: Arashi
PAIRING: Juntoshi
RATING: PG
DATE: March 8th, 2012
WORD COUNT: 14,100
NOTES/DISCLAIMERS: 1. This is a work of fiction, 2. AU, 3. beta-ed by arashic0804
Something Worth Wishing For
The room was dry, despite its clammy appearance, and the humidity outdoors. It was also dark, and stuffy, despite all the windows and the fact that it was probably the largest room in the library, or even the entire school. Too many shelves of all shapes and sizes were lined up haphazardly throughout its space, with too many books, scrolls, and other artifacts spilling out of them. The windows all had heavy curtains over them, since it would not do for the contents of the room to be exposed to the harsh sunlight.
Jun didn’t mind. He had worked in the library for so long that he no longer noticed. He wasn’t really a librarian, but two years ago the library had acquired the inventory of the late Sakurai Shun, a historian whose works Jun had admired, and written papers on. Jun was hired to research and catalogue some of the strange items found among the new acquisition, but there were more of them than the librarians originally thought, and because of his expertise in the more eccentric areas of Sakurai Shun’s many interests, they had kept him on, in case such expertise would be needed. Two years later, and Jun was still in the darkest, loneliest part of the library, the unofficial curator of odds and ends that no one other than Sakurai’s son had bothered to inquire about.
He flushed slightly, remembering the younger Sakurai. Sho was nothing like his father - definitely not reclusive, or eccentric. He read a lot, but it wasn’t in the obsessive way Jun or Sho’s father did, and only because it was useful to know certain things. Sho had a half-grin on his face when he had said that to Jun.
“It’s immensely useful to know things that others don’t, haven’t you noticed?”
Jun reckoned that he knew one too many things that others did not, but other than landing him his job, this particular fact hadn’t been useful to him in any way.
“I - I suppose so,” he had stammered out, trying his best not to stare at the other man. Sakurai Sho was still young, if a little older than Jun, but rumour had it that he was already being considered to take his father’s place at the university.
“Mm? You disagree?”
Jun had shook his head, keeping his eyes down as he quietly - and quickly - told Sho about the books and other items from Sakurai Shun’s collection that had fallen into his care. Sho seemed amused throughout the exchange, and Jun was both crushed and relieved when he finally left.
He wasn’t good with people; it was one of the reasons he had chosen to stay at the library. The only people he saw and spoke to on a regular basis were the head librarian and his supervisor, and on occasion he might bump into any of the other librarians, but for the most part, he was left to his own devises. So he was surprised when he came up from Storage to find someone leafing through the book he had left open on the table.
“Uh,” he said. The man didn’t look up, continuing his browsing while Jun studied him. He was shorter than Jun, and slight. The way his shoulders hunched made him look even smaller, and his skin seemed pale, like he didn’t spend much time outdoors. Like I’m any better, Jun chided himself, before squaring his own shoulders, and speaking again. “Um.”
The man took his time to acknowledge him, but he eventually turned to look at Jun. “Matsumoto Jun?” he asked.
Jun nodded. “I - er, yes. And you are?”
There was a glint in the other man’s eyes; Jun was sure of it. He wasn’t sure what it meant, though. “Ninomiya Kazunari, but you can call me Nino. Everyone else does.”
“Ninomiya-san,” Jun murmured to himself, committing the name to memory. He was bad at remembering names, which didn’t help the fact that he already felt awkward enough around people he didn’t know too well.
Ninomiya didn’t quite roll his eyes at the way Jun addressed him, but the impression of it was there.
“So, Sho-chan told me that you’re quite an expert in,” Ninomiya’s voice lowered dramatically before continuing, “the occult.”
Even with his obvious embarrassment, Jun felt irritation rising in him. He had had enough of the “proper” librarians and the academics mocking his field of study; he had no desire to hear it from this stranger, as well. “That word merely refers to anything that reaches beyond ordinary knowledge,” he said testily.
“Ah,” Ninomiya said. “So you are an expert? On things that reach ‘beyond ordinary knowledge,’” he qualified, when Jun gave him a perplexed look.
“I -” Jun started to say, before hesitating. “Um. Is that what Sho-kun said?”
Ninomiya’s smile was smug, and Jun wasn’t entirely sure he liked it, or the man the smile belonged to. “To clarify matters - I have acquired an old book that I need to know more about. Sho-chan,” he said, “told me that you’re the best person to consult in the matter.”
Jun wanted to ask Ninomiya how he was acquainted to Sho, but reminded himself that it wasn’t any of his business. “I suppose I might be. I like… old books, after all.”
“So modest, too.” Ninomiya spoke under his breath, like he was talking to himself. He eyed Jun’s rigid posture and austere expression (which was a bit funny when contrasted to his slightly reddened skin and the bit of controlled panic in his eyes), and smiled a slow, wide smile. Jun restrained a shudder from the sudden chill he felt. “We’ll get along just fine.”
“Excuse me?”
Ninomiya leaned towards him, like he was about to divulge a great secret. “I have a proposition to make.”
})i({
He must be crazy. There was no other explanation Jun could think of as he peeled open the front page of the text Ninomiya had given him. The cover was heavy, but soft, and Jun wondered what material it was made of as he pulled it back. Ninomiya liked puzzles, which was how he had come across the text himself - he had bought it from a thrift shop, with a bundle of puzzle books from decades ago. “Nothing like the older stuff to give you new ideas,” Ninomiya told him. When he flipped through that particular text, though, he realized that it was not a book written in codes, but another language - one he didn’t recognize at all.
Jun had taken a look at it, and was a little relieved and bewildered to find that he did not recognize it, either - he was no linguist, but he thought that he would at least be able to tell what tongue it was written in, even if it was in one of the archaic languages. Ninomiya had laughed it off, saying that it wasn’t why he sought Jun.
“I know someone who could help with that,” he said. “I’ll need you to work with him, and figure out what kind of text this is.”
Another person Jun didn’t know, and had to work with. And all because he had thought that getting involved with Ninomiya might let him know a little more about Sho. “So - you’ll pass on the translation to me.”
“Actually,” Ninomiya admitted, “I need you to contact him. The last time I worked together with him… let’s just say that things didn’t end very well. He won’t be happy to hear from me. Probably.”
“I see.” Jun was aware that his voice was frosty, as he stood up, wincing slightly at the sound of the chair scraping against the floor. “I’m afraid that I don’t have the time to run your errands, Ninomiya-san. Perhaps, if -”
“Jun, Jun, Jun.” Ninomiya spoke his name with a small, but dramatic, sigh. “I question your dedication to your field of study.”
The look Jun was giving him had been described by some of the assistants at the library as “scary”, and on occasion even “terrifying.” But it had no effect on Ninomiya, who continued making scratches on his notebook like he didn’t have any care in the world. “I never gave you leave to call me by my first name.”
“Oh, the other thing is,” Ninomiya said, completely ignoring Jun’s admonishment, “I don’t actually know how to go about contacting my - er, shall we say, friend?”
Jun didn’t usually dislike people so easily, but at that moment he felt an intense dislike for the person before him. “How, then,” he asked, in an excessively polite tone, “will we contact this ‘friend’ of yours?”
“It’s like I could hear the quotation marks,” Nino remarked. “You’re really something.” Jun could feel himself getting unsure and flustered again, and steeled himself. Obviously, Ninomiya wasn’t the kind of person one wanted to let their guard down around. “Sho-chan is helping me find his address,” Ninomiya informed him. “He’ll contact you when he does.”
})i({
To Jun’s disappointment, Sho never did reappear in his library, with the address of Ninomiya’s linguist friend. Instead, he was met with Sho’s secretary - a tall, loud sort of man, the kind that Jun had always envied in school. Aiba Masaki seemed like the kind of person who never had trouble talking with anyone, or making them like him. Even Jun found it exceedingly difficult to dislike the man, and he actually tried.
“So, so, so,” Aiba said excitedly, “Sho-chan said that you’re looking for the address of a guy called Ohno Satoshi.” Jun looked at him blankly, unsure of how to respond, but it didn’t matter. Aiba just went on without waiting for a reply. “You know, it was nearly impossible to track him down.”
“It’s okay,” Jun said. “Thank you for trying.”
“Didn’t you hear what I said? I said it was nearly impossible, but not completely impossible! It took a lot of my time, and I forgot to do some of Sho-chan’s errands - man, was he mad at me - but I finally found it.”
“You didn’t have to go that far…”
“Don’t worry about it. Sho-chan’s always so melodramatic about things. I mean, so one or two of his students will get held back a semester or two because I forgot to mail Sho’s references, it’s not the end of the world.” Aiba rolled his eyes. Noticing that Jun’s expression was turning to alarm, though, he quickly added, “I’m joking, of course.”
“Oh. Good. Sorry,” Jun told him.
“No prob.” Aiba laughed a little too loudly, and clapped a hand on Jun’s back, startling him. “Anyway, here’s the address. I’ve written it down for you. I was going to check to make sure he’s still there, but Sho-chan noticed I was taking a long time on this and made me stop.” Aiba made a face. “Spoilsport, isn’t he?”
Jun wasn’t sure what to make of Aiba; he didn’t share Aiba’s assessment of Sho, but he also knew that Aiba didn’t speak out of malice. There was a kind of fondness in the way Aiba spoke of Sho, so Jun assumed that they were just close enough to take digs at each other. As for him, he was bewildered - he liked Aiba, but had no idea how to interact with the other man.
Fortunately, he didn’t have to worry. Aiba didn’t seem to realize that he had nothing to add to the conversation, as he was regaled with the tale of Aiba’s long and arduous search for one Ohno Satoshi.
})i({
The address Aiba had written down for him turned out to be a Chinese restaurant. Baffled, Jun went in and inquired about Ohno Satoshi, but no one on the staff seemed to have heard of him. Figuring that it must have been some kind of mistake, Jun backtracked to Sho’s office with the intention to find Aiba.
It was late by the time he arrived, though, and Sho was the only one who was still there. Jun paused, wondering why would Sho’s secretary leave the office before Sho himself did, but Sho told him distractedly that he had asked Aiba to leave. “I’d never get anything done otherwise,” he added, eyes glued to the stack of documents on his desk.
“I see.” He was reluctant to interrupt Sho, but he really didn’t want to have to come down to the office again, just to ask Aiba.
“What is it?” Sho’s countenance seemed to change as he turned from his work to Jun - just as he seemed so different in his office, as opposed to in Jun’s library. “It’s Matsumoto-kun, from the library, right?”
“…yes.” He had to admit that he felt a little crushed that Sho had reverted to calling him by his surname, after their last meeting. “Um, Sakurai-san…” he explained about the address Aiba had given him, while Sho nodded and listened, for the most part. When he was done, Sho smiled. “He was looking up restaurants and halls for an event we’re holding in a couple of months,” he said. “The address was probably one of them.”
Jun waited, unsure of what to say, but Sho was already opening a drawer, and rummaging through it. He grabbed a handful of note papers identical to the one Aiba had given Jun. “The address you’re looking for might be one of these places.” He seemed sympathetic with Jun’s dismay, as Jun realized the sheer number of addresses Aiba had written down - and the fact that he had no idea which was the one he was looking for. “I don’t know why I keep him around, sometimes,” Sho said ruefully. “Or why I hired him in the first place. It’s just, one look at him and I can’t say no to anything, you know?”
Jun knew. Aiba had that kind of quality about him. Jun always wondered why some people made it look so easy, all the things that he struggled with on a daily basis. He shrugged, a gesture that he fell back on whenever he didn’t know what to say. It was also a gesture that made his colleagues think that he was aloof, and did not care for company.
That wouldn’t do, he told himself. Speak. “Perhaps,” he said. “Um. Perhaps, Aiba-san just thinks that you take things too seriously.” He was thinking of Aiba’s words, about Sho worrying too much - although not in those exact words.
Sho frowned. “Well, if I didn’t, then everything would just be a joke, and where would be the meaning in that?” The question made Jun pause. While he could see what Aiba meant, he also agreed with Sho. He asked himself what would be the normal response, but Sho continued talking. “Keep the papers if you want,” Sho said. “I’ve already saved the addresses.”
})i({
The first three addresses Jun looked up were restaurants, as well. The fourth one, he discovered, led him to an abandoned flat. He told himself that he should turn away and give up - Ninomiya’s hobbies weren’t his responsibility, after all - but felt compelled to push the front door open. It did so without much effort, and with a creaking noise that made Jun think that he had to oil it before he was reminded that it didn’t matter whether or not he did.
He stepped inside with caution, and was surprised to find that it was relatively clean, inside. It was stuffy, and somewhat dusty, but it wasn’t as bad as he had thought it would be. “It couldn’t have been abandoned for that long,” he murmured to himself as he surveyed the room. It was lacking in furniture, but there were stacks of what were probably paintings against one side of the wall, all covered up by pieces of cloth. There were also books - a small library’s worth of them - but no shelves. The books were piled in a corner, or stacked haphazardly in several towers lining up against another wall. There were two doors that he could see - one opened to a washroom, and the other was closed.
Not knowing why he was so curious, Jun’s hand touched the door handle hesitantly, before turning.
There was a bed, perfectly made. And a single chair.
The man who was sitting on the chair stood up, and his look of surprise was perfectly matched by Jun’s.
“I-I’m sorry,” Jun said quickly. “I thought no one lived here.”
The man didn’t reply, but stared at Jun. Uncomfortable, Jun tried to look away, but found that he couldn’t. He stared back - the man’s hair was light-coloured, something Jun had never seen before. His skin was very tanned, too; Jun momentarily thought of what an interesting contrast it would make against his own, and reddened.
The man smiled at him, then. Jun blinked; it was as if his thoughts had been heard, and the man was amused.
“And why are you here, in this place where you thought no one lives?”
“I, uh.” Jun felt as if he could hear his heart beating, and he wondered if it was a late response to the shock he had felt earlier. “I was looking for a man called Ohno Satoshi.”
There was a flicker in the man’s eyes; he was troubled. “Why?”
“Um, Ninomiya-san, he -” Jun couldn’t finish his sentence, interrupted by the man, who suddenly kicked the chair down in anger. He took an involuntary step back.
“Kazu.” The man wasn’t looking at Jun anymore. He wasn’t looking at anything. There was a faraway quality to his eyes as he spoke. “I told him to leave it alone.” Jun watched as the man calmed down, and his gaze sharpened, turning back to look at him. “Have you read the runes, yet?”
“The - um, what?”
“The runes. Have you read them?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Good. Then don’t.” The man smiled again - this time, it was soft, but with a warm glow that put Jun immediately at ease. If Aiba’s smiles had enough wattage in them to power an entire city, then this smile was more like a reading lamp by one’s bed. “I’m Ohno, by the way.”
“Matsumoto Jun.” It was an automatic response, really. The words were out of his mouth before he knew it. Then he realized who the man was. “You - you’re Ohno Satoshi.”
“In the flesh.” Ohno looked down at himself, like it was a private joke that Jun wasn’t a part of. Not that Jun cared - there were more important things to think about.
“I need your help,” he said. He was only vaguely aware that he still had a messenger bag slung over his shoulders, containing all the note papers he had taken from Sho, a children’s book that had been sent to his workplace by mistake and proved to be an interesting read, and the book that Ninomiya had asked him to make sense of. He rummaged through the bag, pulling the book out. “Ninomiya-san told me that you’re an expert on languages, and that you’d be able to help me figure this out… Ohno-san?”
Ohno was looking at the book in resignation. “Kazu sent you,” he said - a statement rather than a question.
“…yes.”
A long sigh, before Ohno bent over to pull the chair back up. “I know what that is,” he said, indicating the book in Jun’s hands. “It’s going to take a long time translating that.”
“I have time.” Jun paused. “Would it - would it be alright if I come here after work sometimes, to see how things are going?”
Ohno gave him a considering look, before nodding. “That’s fine with me.”
})i({
Jun went to Ohno’s every day after work. Some days they would be working side by side, Jun going through Ohno’s translations - or attempts of them. Sometimes Ohno would return to the same pages, claiming that he’d misunderstood the meaning of a particular word, or that he had missed out an important part. On other days, Jun was content to let Ohno work while he tried to make the flat a little more livable. Ohno kept telling him not to bother, but he couldn’t help it. He was feeling a little useless, because he couldn’t make sense of Ohno’s translations at all. Mostly he just cleaned, anyway, and brought in trinkets he’d found that might make the place look better. Ohno tolerated him doing that, but when he wanted to bring in more lamps to brighten up the place, Ohno wouldn’t let him. He didn’t mind working with the small gas lamp that Ohno kept, but it illuminated very little and the shadows it created sometimes made Jun think that he was seeing things that weren’t there - not to mention it gave the flat a gloomy, depressing atmosphere. Ohno seemed comfortable enough with it, however, so he didn’t press the matter.
What took him by surprise was how quickly he acclimatized to Ohno’s presence. It definitely wasn’t normal for him to be at ease with another person, but Ohno was easy to be around. Ohno didn’t ask him too many questions or expect him to talk, or seem to find Jun awkward at all. As a result, Jun actually began to talk more - sometimes just to fill in the silence, as Ohno wasn’t much of a talker himself - and forgot about his diffidence before he realized it.
Ninomiya visited him at work now and then, to ask about how far they’ve gotten. He didn’t seem to be in a hurry for the results, so Jun wasn’t worried about the lack of progress, although it didn’t stop him from feeling bad about not being able to help. When he dared to ask what happened between the two of them that Ninomiya couldn’t meet Ohno personally, though, Ninomiya would clam up, and change the subject. Jun quickly learned to stop asking, because Ninomiya seemed to know a wealth of subjects that would get Jun feeling confused or embarrassed (or both). Jun hated when that happened, because he would feel more tongue-tied and self-conscious than ever.
On those days, Jun would walk a little faster to Ohno’s, needing the strange comfort that the other man’s presence gave him.
})i({
Jun was used to being alone. He didn’t have anyone that would consider him a friend, and didn’t consider himself particularly liked by others. It wasn’t something that bothered him, necessarily - it was just the way things were. Some people were good at that - making connections, putting others at ease, opening up to others. He wasn’t. It was that simple. He was used to his quiet, solitary life - until Sakurai Shun’s son, and then Ninomiya, came into his life. And now he could hardly remember a time when he worked without Ninomiya hanging around, asking questions about the books and papers he handled, while sneaking in a personal question every now and then. Jun was very good at avoiding them.
He had Aiba rushing in and out every now and then, running Sho’s errands or just hoping to bump into Ninomiya - the two of them seemed to forget everyone else once they get into a conversation, which gave Jun, for the very first time, the feeling of being left out. On Aiba’s off days Sho might come in himself - Jun wondered what sort of research Sho was working on, but was always too shy to ask. The first time Sho came in while Ninomiya was around, Jun was surprised by the transformation in the scholar he so admired. All the seriousness seemed to melt away, but rather than being met with the distant amusement Jun knew, there was a kind of intimate playfulness to him - an entirely new Sho, as far as Jun was concerned. It was definitely interesting, even if the sight sent tiny twinges of envy and hurt, because this Sho only came out when Ninomiya was around, and only Ninomiya had that kind of effect on others.
And of course, at the end of the day, there was Ohno. Ohno was a mysterious one; Jun was able to determine, after being around the other man on a daily basis, that Ohno lived like a regular person. At the very least, Jun knew that he ate, and slept, and bought things when he needed them. Jun started to consider these things because after he complained that there were no surfaces on which they could work comfortably, due to the lack of furniture, Ohno had bought a large table by Jun’s next visit. How Ohno procured it in such a short time Jun didn’t know, or how he earned the money to get it, since he didn’t seem to ever leave the flat. And he liked the dimly lit, almost barren place he lived in - at the very least, it did not seem to bother him at all.
Ohno also turned out to offer strange observations every now and then, although Jun wasn’t too sure how strange the other man really was. After all, he hadn’t had a lot of people to compare Ohno to - Ninomiya’s sharp tongue, Aiba’s jokes, and Sho’s mutterings on his research subjects didn’t seem to him to be the pillar of normalcy, either.
Maybe everyone was strange, he thought, and he wasn’t as different as he thought in the end. Or maybe he had finally found people he felt he could be at ease with.
})i({
“Ohno-san.”
“Yes?”
“You’ve been translating this book for weeks. Do you have any idea what it’s about?”
Ohno looked at him, and that was when he knew. Ohno seemed guarded, and avoided Jun’s gaze as he replied with a question of his own. “That’s your job, isn’t it?”
“If you say so,” Jun said. He looked at the covered paintings. “Why do you keep those paintings, if you’re just going to cover them up anyway?” He waited for an answer, but Ohno didn’t reply. He wasn’t surprised.
“Did Aiba-san come to see you today?” Ohno asked a few moments later, changing the subject. Jun’s attention left the paintings, as he turned back to the translator. He had been telling Ohno about Aiba, Ninomiya and Sho in his last few visits, but hadn’t thought that the other man was really paying attention.
“He did; how’d you know that? Well, actually he came to see Ninomiya-san, who was trying to find out if I’ve had any progress at all.” Jun smiled as he remembered the conversation between Aiba and Ninomiya earlier that day. “They’ve become good friends, those two.”
“Jun-kun, too.”
“Sorry?”
“You, too - you’re one of them, aren’t you? You’re helping them out with this, after all,” Ohno said, gesturing to the book in his hands.
“That’s just because Ninomiya-san wanted this book identified and appraised, and I’m the only one he knows who could do it.”
“I know Kazu; believe me, he’ll have had his options. He chose you for a reason.”
Somewhat discomfited at the thought, Jun shook his head. “I don’t have - friends,” he confessed.
Ohno let the moment pass, again, and Jun was relieved that Ohno hadn’t found his admission amusing, or worse - sympathized with him. They continued working in silence, and Jun wondered if he should just make up what the book was and how much it was worth. It wasn’t as if anyone Ninomiya took it to would know the difference, he figured.
“We’re friends, aren’t we?”
The question came out of nowhere, and Jun looked at Ohno blankly for some time before realizing that Ohno was continuing the conversation they had let go of earlier. He swallowed, suddenly remembering the uneasy way he felt when they had first met.
“Are we?”
“Of course we are.” Ohno’s smile was sincere; there was not even a hint that he might be being made a fool of. Jun tentatively smiled back, before his feelings started to get too overwhelming, and he dragged his eyes away, and down to train on his hand. A warm glow was settling in his stomach.
“Thank you,” he said, so quietly he doubted that Ohno could hear him, but it didn’t matter.
})i({
Jun knew that it was unusual for him not to press the matter. He was not lying when Ninomiya asked him - he was good at his job. If the situation had been different, he would have worked harder to make sense of Ohno’s translations. He would have done some research on the things that had been niggling at the back of his mind, demanding his attention, that he knew he was willfully ignoring. He would have pressured Ohno to work faster, at the very least.
But finishing the job would mean it would be the end. He would have no reason to show up in the barely habitable flat. Ninomiya would have no reason to come down to the library to pester him. Aiba wouldn’t show up to talk to Ninomiya, and Sho… Jun would probably still see him around, he supposed, until Sho finished with his research. And every now and then they would exchange a few words - Jun’s, mostly monosyllabic, except when he’s answering Sho’s questions.
Once, that would have been enough.
Now, it just made him wish that some things didn’t have to end, that some forged connections, even when made only out of necessity, could hold.
})i({
“Ohno-san.”
“Yes?”
“You’ve been working on that for four hours.” Ohno looked at him, and at the clock hanging on the wall - another addition he’d made, after an off-hand comment from Jun. He then looked at Jun again, waiting for an explanation. “You should take a break.”
“Oh.” Ohno put down the writing instrument in his hand, but didn’t do much else. He frowned. “I guess.”
“I -” Jun hesitated. “I’m going to get a bite to eat before heading home. Would you like to. Um. Come with me?”
Jun watched Ohno closely, apprehensive. Whatever it was that caused his shoulder to bend so much under its weight seemed to lighten its burden, for a brief moment. Then his figure stooped again, and he shook his head slowly. “I’m sorry, Jun-kun.”
It took awhile for Jun to realize that Ohno wasn’t going to explain his rejection. He nodded, and said stiffly, “I understand.” Even though he didn’t understand, not one bit. Not why Ohno was so reluctant, and certainly not why Ohno being reluctant bothered him so much.
})i({
When Jun showed up at Ohno’s again, the other man told him that it wasn’t necessary to come over every single day, because it wasn’t as if he was giving Jun a lot to work with. Ohno spoke even less than before, and when he did, it was always in a polite, distant manner.
Bewildered, and feeling somewhat lost, Jun left earlier than usual.
The next day, he heeded Ohno’s advice, and headed home straight after work, as he was once accustomed to do. He made himself a light meal and settled down with a book, all the while feeling vaguely empty, and wondering how he used to pass the time before.
})i({
Being stuck with extra time that he forgot how he used to spend came as a blessing of sorts. The library had more new acquisitions that they wanted him to help catalogue, and they asked if he could do overtime work, as there were items in the collection that the senior staff thought might be very valuable. Jun accepted the extra work, wanting an excuse not to go to Ohno’s, and to ignore the growing emptiness he was starting to feel.
He didn’t come across anything special at first - a first edition children’s book every now and then that might prove to be worth more in the future, if only the others would believe him. Then he got to a lot of dull volumes on taxes and agriculture and history (mostly records of family lineages), among others. He went through them one by one, spending his time trying hard not to think of other places he could be, other things he could be doing - that he almost missed it.
When he remembered the odd volume that hadn’t fit in, Jun pushed away the stack on his table, and immediately went to get it. He had stuck it away in a corner, because it was thick and heavy and larger than the other books, and it was like too many of the books from Sakurai Shun’s collection that he didn’t want to deal with it until he had to.
He had put it away without really thinking, but as he picked it back up he held it as lightly as possible, recognizing that the covers had the same texture as the strange book that Ninomiya had asked him about.
Opening it slowly, Jun thought that it might be what he really needed in the end. A part of him wondered why he hadn’t thought of it earlier; it was the kind of rarity that would complement Sakurai Shun’s collection, and might even be what Sho had been looking for - although, he supposed that he never considered the fact that the book might actually still exist.
})i({
“Working hard as usual, I see.”
“Ninomiya-san,” Jun greeted. “I was hoping that you’d come.”
Ninomiya grinned. “Missed me already? I know I didn’t come for the last two days, but Sho-chan said you’re busy and haven’t been to Ohno’s -”
“Was it you who called him?” Jun frowned. “Or should I say ‘it’ - they don’t really have genders, do they, in their true forms.”
Ninomiya went from amused to serious in an instant, looked around him to make sure that no one else was around - of course, no one else ever was around Jun’s section of the library - before nodding. “Yes, I was. And as long as Ohno is Ohno, I’d say that he’s definitely a ‘him.’” He paused. “How’d you find out? Did you finish the translations?”
“He hadn’t really translated anything, had he.” It wasn’t a question; Jun realized now that Ohno had been making up the nonsense he had been feeding Jun all that time they worked together. If Ohno was what Jun thought he was - and Ninomiya seemed to be confirming it - then he should have been able to read the text as easily as Jun could read his favourite books. “I looked it up in a compendium of demons.”
“That’s such a misnomer, you know,” Ninomiya mused. “I’d hardly call them ‘demons.’”
“Why’d you call him out?”
“Because I thought that demons were - well, demons.” Ninomiya was definitely no longer amused. There was a hardness in his eyes that had been well-earned, and a tiredness that Jun knew wasn’t feigned. “I did him a disservice, really, calling him here, binding him.”
})i({
Ninomiya was a part-time magician, and a full-time hedge wizard. As glamorous as that sounded, in a world where everyone thought that real sorcery was a thing of the past, the truth was the most powerful thing he could do was make simple potions that work. If he wanted to fake death, or get someone to be temporarily infatuated with him, or heal (as well as cause) basic illnesses, then he could brew up something, sure. But he still resorted to tricks and cunning when it came to earning enough to survive. Then he had found the shadow book in a random purchase, and he thought - he might have just enough magic in him to create - ‘summon’, according to the book - a construct.
He had understood then that the kind of golem he would get depended on what he used to construct them. He had understood that it would take a lot of control to bind them to a form, and that the most he could expect was one who would understand detailed instructions, but no golem was intelligent enough to think for itself. He had understood that they were unfailingly loyal, and that having one would be very useful in his work.
Now, he understood that most of what he had read on them weren’t exactly true.
He doubted that he even ‘created’ Ohno - he suspected that Ohno had existed in a different plane, or world, before Ninomiya had snatched him, and bound him to his humanoid form. Not only that - Ohno’s existence seemed, as far as he could tell, tied to his.
Realizing that he had done something terrible, he did the only thing he could think of at first - pretend it hadn’t happened. Ninomiya had kept telling Ohno that he wasn’t there, hoping it would send him back - but that only worked on the type of creatures that fed on human life forces, and Ohno wasn’t one of them. Ninomiya didn’t know what sort of creature Ohno had been; he had never asked. Ohno talked to him a lot on the first few days, but fell quiet once he realized that Ninomiya wasn’t going to acknowledge him. When Ninomiya accepted that his strategy didn’t work, he started to look up other ways to send Ohno back, or to break the ties between them.
After some time, Ninomiya seemed to give up, and moved out of his flat, knowing that Ohno wouldn’t be able to follow him out. He was thankful that despite all the stupidity that he had indulged in, he at least had the presence of mind to ensure that whatever he created - or summoned - would be trapped in unless he chose to free it.
})i({
“And you just left him there?” Jun was used to Ninomiya enough that he found it easier to talk, but even so, he was surprised by the tone he took with the other man.
Ninomiya shrugged.
“What - why did you ask for my help, then?” Ninomiya probably knew that Ohno could read the book, and even if Jun had knowledge - by way of books - of things that were not quite… normal, Ninomiya still had the advantage when one counted experience. As interested in these esoteric subjects as Jun was, he hadn’t even thought that any of it were real, in the sense that they could still exist. “And why the roundabout way of getting me there?”
“I involved Sho-chan because you’re more likely to help me if it meant an excuse to see him again.” Ninomiya replied, and Jun shifted, annoyed by the other man’s smugness. “And, well - I wasn’t lying. I really couldn’t find him or my old place again. I made myself forget.” He grimaced. “Obviously, that didn’t work too well. I kept having strange dreams, and one morning I woke up with the book next to me - and I know that I hadn’t taken it with me when I left that place. I started to remember, in bits and pieces, and, well. I’ve heard about you, and I thought you could help.”
“Except that I couldn’t,” Jun said quietly. “I’m sorry, Ninomiya-san, but - I don’t know anything about these things, in practice.”
“You know the theory. Better than most, I think. That’s more than anyone else knows. It’s not like the city is brimming with those studying the otherworlders.” Ninomiya paused, calculative. “Sho-chan probably haven’t told you, but he’s currently finishing his dad’s final research on constructs. Since no one really has first-hand experience with handling them these days, you could be a valuable resource to him.”
“Why don’t you ask him to help you, then.” Jun’s reply was testy, and came out a bit hard. “He sounds perfect for the job, and I’m sure he’ll be delighted to get the chance to meet Ohno.”
“Ah, Sho-chan is no good.” Ninomiya actually looked apologetic as he spoke. “He’s smart, and he’s great at research, and writing his papers, and all that. But when it comes to the practical stuff…” Ninomiya trailed off, and shrugged again. Somehow the gesture eloquently showed his general lack of faith in Sho’s ability to dispel Ohno from his life.
"Then," Jun started hesitantly. Ninomiya was definitely paying attention, and he was starting to wonder if he really knew enough to even think of helping. "Why don't you just - set him free?"
Ninomiya's expression darkened. "Even I'm not that heartless," he said. "You know what they'd do if they found a rogue otherworlder walking around."
Jun did know, but he hadn't really thought about it. After all, no one had even heard of demons - or as sympathisers called them, otherworlders - in a long time. He knew that there were still some left behind from Before, but they were all too old and weak, and in some sort of quarantine somewhere. His father’s father had been very young when the war was declared against all things 'Unnatural', and by time his father died ten years previously, there were people who didn't even believe that demons existed. Most of the documents and books from Before had been destroyed; the rare remaining ones were in the custody of his library, and one or two private collectors. Even his field of study was slowly being relegated to "lore", rather than "history". He thought of Ohno, of the strange tan and light hair, of the odd remarks he sometimes made that never quite made sense. "He could pass," Jun said, although he didn't sound convinced. "No one would know."
"I don't think so. He doesn't know anything about living in this world."
"And you think that keeping him trapped in that place is any better?" Jun wondered what Ohno did before he had first stepped into the flat, if Ohno had always just been there, waiting for Ninomiya's return.
"That's why," Ninomiya replied with a long-suffering look, "I need to send him back."
“Oh.”
Jun didn’t know if he wanted Ohno to go away. He had spent so many evenings with Ohno that it was difficult to imagine that Ohno didn’t belong, that his existence was considered against nature. He wondered if that was why he felt comforted and more at ease with Ohno; despite being human, he had always found it hard to connect to others.
He looked away from Ninomiya, and the books on his table, to the chaos of his shelves. Some of those books no longer existed anywhere outside the library. Some were books detailing the hows and whys of magic, of the Unnaturals, and old stories that were only half true. Others were transcripts from Before, and described in vivid details the things that had been done to demons - otherworlders - during the times when they were still being caught, herded, experimented on, and killed. The Dawning, it was called back then, signifying the arrival of the age of science. The Unnaturals were “studied” - that was what they called the killings and the experiments - and dismissed as hoaxes and people ridden with diseases that couldn’t be cured, and must be eradicated. These books, too, have mostly disappeared over time, but he had other relics and reminders at the basement of the library, things that even the museums had refused to keep. Jars and cases of amputated limbs, preserved hearts, vials of potions made from the blood of otherworlders - one of those would increase Ninomiya’s abilities significantly, according to Jun’s books. The scientists called it Frenzy, that it was merely that the diseased blood caused a kind of temporary illness.
})i({
Ohno was surprised to see Jun, but he kept his face blank as he let Jun in. “I haven’t progressed much. Sorry,” he added, locking back up as Jun walked further into the flat.
“I know you could read it,” Jun said. “I know what you are.”
There was still no surprise on Ohno’s face, although his lips lifted in a small smile. “Do you, now.”
“Yes.”
“And what am I?”
Jun hesitated, before giving his answer in a small voice. “Demon.”
Ohno’s smile widened. “I forgot that that’s what you called us.” He glanced at the door behind him; with him in between Jun and it, the only way for Jun to leave was by getting through him. “Have you forgotten that you used to fear us?”
Jun had thought of it, of course. But - “If you wanted to hurt me, you could have done so already.”
“Maybe I’m just biding my time.”
Ignoring Ohno, Jun went on. “Why did you lie, about having trouble translating the book?”
Ohno did not answer, but something in his eyes changed. Jun had always thought of it as a kind of light brown; even that had been an odd colouring to have, but not impossible. Ninomiya’s eyes sometimes had a golden tinge to it at certain angles, but Jun had always attributed that to glamour, or a trick of light. But he was reminded of it when Ohno’s light brown irises flickered, and turned into an almost liquid, golden colour that could never be mistaken as a mere “brown.”
He felt his breath catch, and a voice in the far corners of his mind wondered whether he was awed by the sight, or was just spooked.
He studied Ohno’s wide smile, and noticed how Ohno’s teeth were sharper than his, or any human’s. Why had he not noticed that before?
~continue to part two~
comment in part 2, please :)
FANDOM: Arashi
PAIRING: Juntoshi
RATING: PG
DATE: March 8th, 2012
WORD COUNT: 14,100
NOTES/DISCLAIMERS: 1. This is a work of fiction, 2. AU, 3. beta-ed by arashic0804
Something Worth Wishing For
The room was dry, despite its clammy appearance, and the humidity outdoors. It was also dark, and stuffy, despite all the windows and the fact that it was probably the largest room in the library, or even the entire school. Too many shelves of all shapes and sizes were lined up haphazardly throughout its space, with too many books, scrolls, and other artifacts spilling out of them. The windows all had heavy curtains over them, since it would not do for the contents of the room to be exposed to the harsh sunlight.
Jun didn’t mind. He had worked in the library for so long that he no longer noticed. He wasn’t really a librarian, but two years ago the library had acquired the inventory of the late Sakurai Shun, a historian whose works Jun had admired, and written papers on. Jun was hired to research and catalogue some of the strange items found among the new acquisition, but there were more of them than the librarians originally thought, and because of his expertise in the more eccentric areas of Sakurai Shun’s many interests, they had kept him on, in case such expertise would be needed. Two years later, and Jun was still in the darkest, loneliest part of the library, the unofficial curator of odds and ends that no one other than Sakurai’s son had bothered to inquire about.
He flushed slightly, remembering the younger Sakurai. Sho was nothing like his father - definitely not reclusive, or eccentric. He read a lot, but it wasn’t in the obsessive way Jun or Sho’s father did, and only because it was useful to know certain things. Sho had a half-grin on his face when he had said that to Jun.
“It’s immensely useful to know things that others don’t, haven’t you noticed?”
Jun reckoned that he knew one too many things that others did not, but other than landing him his job, this particular fact hadn’t been useful to him in any way.
“I - I suppose so,” he had stammered out, trying his best not to stare at the other man. Sakurai Sho was still young, if a little older than Jun, but rumour had it that he was already being considered to take his father’s place at the university.
“Mm? You disagree?”
Jun had shook his head, keeping his eyes down as he quietly - and quickly - told Sho about the books and other items from Sakurai Shun’s collection that had fallen into his care. Sho seemed amused throughout the exchange, and Jun was both crushed and relieved when he finally left.
He wasn’t good with people; it was one of the reasons he had chosen to stay at the library. The only people he saw and spoke to on a regular basis were the head librarian and his supervisor, and on occasion he might bump into any of the other librarians, but for the most part, he was left to his own devises. So he was surprised when he came up from Storage to find someone leafing through the book he had left open on the table.
“Uh,” he said. The man didn’t look up, continuing his browsing while Jun studied him. He was shorter than Jun, and slight. The way his shoulders hunched made him look even smaller, and his skin seemed pale, like he didn’t spend much time outdoors. Like I’m any better, Jun chided himself, before squaring his own shoulders, and speaking again. “Um.”
The man took his time to acknowledge him, but he eventually turned to look at Jun. “Matsumoto Jun?” he asked.
Jun nodded. “I - er, yes. And you are?”
There was a glint in the other man’s eyes; Jun was sure of it. He wasn’t sure what it meant, though. “Ninomiya Kazunari, but you can call me Nino. Everyone else does.”
“Ninomiya-san,” Jun murmured to himself, committing the name to memory. He was bad at remembering names, which didn’t help the fact that he already felt awkward enough around people he didn’t know too well.
Ninomiya didn’t quite roll his eyes at the way Jun addressed him, but the impression of it was there.
“So, Sho-chan told me that you’re quite an expert in,” Ninomiya’s voice lowered dramatically before continuing, “the occult.”
Even with his obvious embarrassment, Jun felt irritation rising in him. He had had enough of the “proper” librarians and the academics mocking his field of study; he had no desire to hear it from this stranger, as well. “That word merely refers to anything that reaches beyond ordinary knowledge,” he said testily.
“Ah,” Ninomiya said. “So you are an expert? On things that reach ‘beyond ordinary knowledge,’” he qualified, when Jun gave him a perplexed look.
“I -” Jun started to say, before hesitating. “Um. Is that what Sho-kun said?”
Ninomiya’s smile was smug, and Jun wasn’t entirely sure he liked it, or the man the smile belonged to. “To clarify matters - I have acquired an old book that I need to know more about. Sho-chan,” he said, “told me that you’re the best person to consult in the matter.”
Jun wanted to ask Ninomiya how he was acquainted to Sho, but reminded himself that it wasn’t any of his business. “I suppose I might be. I like… old books, after all.”
“So modest, too.” Ninomiya spoke under his breath, like he was talking to himself. He eyed Jun’s rigid posture and austere expression (which was a bit funny when contrasted to his slightly reddened skin and the bit of controlled panic in his eyes), and smiled a slow, wide smile. Jun restrained a shudder from the sudden chill he felt. “We’ll get along just fine.”
“Excuse me?”
Ninomiya leaned towards him, like he was about to divulge a great secret. “I have a proposition to make.”
})i({
He must be crazy. There was no other explanation Jun could think of as he peeled open the front page of the text Ninomiya had given him. The cover was heavy, but soft, and Jun wondered what material it was made of as he pulled it back. Ninomiya liked puzzles, which was how he had come across the text himself - he had bought it from a thrift shop, with a bundle of puzzle books from decades ago. “Nothing like the older stuff to give you new ideas,” Ninomiya told him. When he flipped through that particular text, though, he realized that it was not a book written in codes, but another language - one he didn’t recognize at all.
Jun had taken a look at it, and was a little relieved and bewildered to find that he did not recognize it, either - he was no linguist, but he thought that he would at least be able to tell what tongue it was written in, even if it was in one of the archaic languages. Ninomiya had laughed it off, saying that it wasn’t why he sought Jun.
“I know someone who could help with that,” he said. “I’ll need you to work with him, and figure out what kind of text this is.”
Another person Jun didn’t know, and had to work with. And all because he had thought that getting involved with Ninomiya might let him know a little more about Sho. “So - you’ll pass on the translation to me.”
“Actually,” Ninomiya admitted, “I need you to contact him. The last time I worked together with him… let’s just say that things didn’t end very well. He won’t be happy to hear from me. Probably.”
“I see.” Jun was aware that his voice was frosty, as he stood up, wincing slightly at the sound of the chair scraping against the floor. “I’m afraid that I don’t have the time to run your errands, Ninomiya-san. Perhaps, if -”
“Jun, Jun, Jun.” Ninomiya spoke his name with a small, but dramatic, sigh. “I question your dedication to your field of study.”
The look Jun was giving him had been described by some of the assistants at the library as “scary”, and on occasion even “terrifying.” But it had no effect on Ninomiya, who continued making scratches on his notebook like he didn’t have any care in the world. “I never gave you leave to call me by my first name.”
“Oh, the other thing is,” Ninomiya said, completely ignoring Jun’s admonishment, “I don’t actually know how to go about contacting my - er, shall we say, friend?”
Jun didn’t usually dislike people so easily, but at that moment he felt an intense dislike for the person before him. “How, then,” he asked, in an excessively polite tone, “will we contact this ‘friend’ of yours?”
“It’s like I could hear the quotation marks,” Nino remarked. “You’re really something.” Jun could feel himself getting unsure and flustered again, and steeled himself. Obviously, Ninomiya wasn’t the kind of person one wanted to let their guard down around. “Sho-chan is helping me find his address,” Ninomiya informed him. “He’ll contact you when he does.”
})i({
To Jun’s disappointment, Sho never did reappear in his library, with the address of Ninomiya’s linguist friend. Instead, he was met with Sho’s secretary - a tall, loud sort of man, the kind that Jun had always envied in school. Aiba Masaki seemed like the kind of person who never had trouble talking with anyone, or making them like him. Even Jun found it exceedingly difficult to dislike the man, and he actually tried.
“So, so, so,” Aiba said excitedly, “Sho-chan said that you’re looking for the address of a guy called Ohno Satoshi.” Jun looked at him blankly, unsure of how to respond, but it didn’t matter. Aiba just went on without waiting for a reply. “You know, it was nearly impossible to track him down.”
“It’s okay,” Jun said. “Thank you for trying.”
“Didn’t you hear what I said? I said it was nearly impossible, but not completely impossible! It took a lot of my time, and I forgot to do some of Sho-chan’s errands - man, was he mad at me - but I finally found it.”
“You didn’t have to go that far…”
“Don’t worry about it. Sho-chan’s always so melodramatic about things. I mean, so one or two of his students will get held back a semester or two because I forgot to mail Sho’s references, it’s not the end of the world.” Aiba rolled his eyes. Noticing that Jun’s expression was turning to alarm, though, he quickly added, “I’m joking, of course.”
“Oh. Good. Sorry,” Jun told him.
“No prob.” Aiba laughed a little too loudly, and clapped a hand on Jun’s back, startling him. “Anyway, here’s the address. I’ve written it down for you. I was going to check to make sure he’s still there, but Sho-chan noticed I was taking a long time on this and made me stop.” Aiba made a face. “Spoilsport, isn’t he?”
Jun wasn’t sure what to make of Aiba; he didn’t share Aiba’s assessment of Sho, but he also knew that Aiba didn’t speak out of malice. There was a kind of fondness in the way Aiba spoke of Sho, so Jun assumed that they were just close enough to take digs at each other. As for him, he was bewildered - he liked Aiba, but had no idea how to interact with the other man.
Fortunately, he didn’t have to worry. Aiba didn’t seem to realize that he had nothing to add to the conversation, as he was regaled with the tale of Aiba’s long and arduous search for one Ohno Satoshi.
})i({
The address Aiba had written down for him turned out to be a Chinese restaurant. Baffled, Jun went in and inquired about Ohno Satoshi, but no one on the staff seemed to have heard of him. Figuring that it must have been some kind of mistake, Jun backtracked to Sho’s office with the intention to find Aiba.
It was late by the time he arrived, though, and Sho was the only one who was still there. Jun paused, wondering why would Sho’s secretary leave the office before Sho himself did, but Sho told him distractedly that he had asked Aiba to leave. “I’d never get anything done otherwise,” he added, eyes glued to the stack of documents on his desk.
“I see.” He was reluctant to interrupt Sho, but he really didn’t want to have to come down to the office again, just to ask Aiba.
“What is it?” Sho’s countenance seemed to change as he turned from his work to Jun - just as he seemed so different in his office, as opposed to in Jun’s library. “It’s Matsumoto-kun, from the library, right?”
“…yes.” He had to admit that he felt a little crushed that Sho had reverted to calling him by his surname, after their last meeting. “Um, Sakurai-san…” he explained about the address Aiba had given him, while Sho nodded and listened, for the most part. When he was done, Sho smiled. “He was looking up restaurants and halls for an event we’re holding in a couple of months,” he said. “The address was probably one of them.”
Jun waited, unsure of what to say, but Sho was already opening a drawer, and rummaging through it. He grabbed a handful of note papers identical to the one Aiba had given Jun. “The address you’re looking for might be one of these places.” He seemed sympathetic with Jun’s dismay, as Jun realized the sheer number of addresses Aiba had written down - and the fact that he had no idea which was the one he was looking for. “I don’t know why I keep him around, sometimes,” Sho said ruefully. “Or why I hired him in the first place. It’s just, one look at him and I can’t say no to anything, you know?”
Jun knew. Aiba had that kind of quality about him. Jun always wondered why some people made it look so easy, all the things that he struggled with on a daily basis. He shrugged, a gesture that he fell back on whenever he didn’t know what to say. It was also a gesture that made his colleagues think that he was aloof, and did not care for company.
That wouldn’t do, he told himself. Speak. “Perhaps,” he said. “Um. Perhaps, Aiba-san just thinks that you take things too seriously.” He was thinking of Aiba’s words, about Sho worrying too much - although not in those exact words.
Sho frowned. “Well, if I didn’t, then everything would just be a joke, and where would be the meaning in that?” The question made Jun pause. While he could see what Aiba meant, he also agreed with Sho. He asked himself what would be the normal response, but Sho continued talking. “Keep the papers if you want,” Sho said. “I’ve already saved the addresses.”
})i({
The first three addresses Jun looked up were restaurants, as well. The fourth one, he discovered, led him to an abandoned flat. He told himself that he should turn away and give up - Ninomiya’s hobbies weren’t his responsibility, after all - but felt compelled to push the front door open. It did so without much effort, and with a creaking noise that made Jun think that he had to oil it before he was reminded that it didn’t matter whether or not he did.
He stepped inside with caution, and was surprised to find that it was relatively clean, inside. It was stuffy, and somewhat dusty, but it wasn’t as bad as he had thought it would be. “It couldn’t have been abandoned for that long,” he murmured to himself as he surveyed the room. It was lacking in furniture, but there were stacks of what were probably paintings against one side of the wall, all covered up by pieces of cloth. There were also books - a small library’s worth of them - but no shelves. The books were piled in a corner, or stacked haphazardly in several towers lining up against another wall. There were two doors that he could see - one opened to a washroom, and the other was closed.
Not knowing why he was so curious, Jun’s hand touched the door handle hesitantly, before turning.
There was a bed, perfectly made. And a single chair.
The man who was sitting on the chair stood up, and his look of surprise was perfectly matched by Jun’s.
“I-I’m sorry,” Jun said quickly. “I thought no one lived here.”
The man didn’t reply, but stared at Jun. Uncomfortable, Jun tried to look away, but found that he couldn’t. He stared back - the man’s hair was light-coloured, something Jun had never seen before. His skin was very tanned, too; Jun momentarily thought of what an interesting contrast it would make against his own, and reddened.
The man smiled at him, then. Jun blinked; it was as if his thoughts had been heard, and the man was amused.
“And why are you here, in this place where you thought no one lives?”
“I, uh.” Jun felt as if he could hear his heart beating, and he wondered if it was a late response to the shock he had felt earlier. “I was looking for a man called Ohno Satoshi.”
There was a flicker in the man’s eyes; he was troubled. “Why?”
“Um, Ninomiya-san, he -” Jun couldn’t finish his sentence, interrupted by the man, who suddenly kicked the chair down in anger. He took an involuntary step back.
“Kazu.” The man wasn’t looking at Jun anymore. He wasn’t looking at anything. There was a faraway quality to his eyes as he spoke. “I told him to leave it alone.” Jun watched as the man calmed down, and his gaze sharpened, turning back to look at him. “Have you read the runes, yet?”
“The - um, what?”
“The runes. Have you read them?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Good. Then don’t.” The man smiled again - this time, it was soft, but with a warm glow that put Jun immediately at ease. If Aiba’s smiles had enough wattage in them to power an entire city, then this smile was more like a reading lamp by one’s bed. “I’m Ohno, by the way.”
“Matsumoto Jun.” It was an automatic response, really. The words were out of his mouth before he knew it. Then he realized who the man was. “You - you’re Ohno Satoshi.”
“In the flesh.” Ohno looked down at himself, like it was a private joke that Jun wasn’t a part of. Not that Jun cared - there were more important things to think about.
“I need your help,” he said. He was only vaguely aware that he still had a messenger bag slung over his shoulders, containing all the note papers he had taken from Sho, a children’s book that had been sent to his workplace by mistake and proved to be an interesting read, and the book that Ninomiya had asked him to make sense of. He rummaged through the bag, pulling the book out. “Ninomiya-san told me that you’re an expert on languages, and that you’d be able to help me figure this out… Ohno-san?”
Ohno was looking at the book in resignation. “Kazu sent you,” he said - a statement rather than a question.
“…yes.”
A long sigh, before Ohno bent over to pull the chair back up. “I know what that is,” he said, indicating the book in Jun’s hands. “It’s going to take a long time translating that.”
“I have time.” Jun paused. “Would it - would it be alright if I come here after work sometimes, to see how things are going?”
Ohno gave him a considering look, before nodding. “That’s fine with me.”
})i({
Jun went to Ohno’s every day after work. Some days they would be working side by side, Jun going through Ohno’s translations - or attempts of them. Sometimes Ohno would return to the same pages, claiming that he’d misunderstood the meaning of a particular word, or that he had missed out an important part. On other days, Jun was content to let Ohno work while he tried to make the flat a little more livable. Ohno kept telling him not to bother, but he couldn’t help it. He was feeling a little useless, because he couldn’t make sense of Ohno’s translations at all. Mostly he just cleaned, anyway, and brought in trinkets he’d found that might make the place look better. Ohno tolerated him doing that, but when he wanted to bring in more lamps to brighten up the place, Ohno wouldn’t let him. He didn’t mind working with the small gas lamp that Ohno kept, but it illuminated very little and the shadows it created sometimes made Jun think that he was seeing things that weren’t there - not to mention it gave the flat a gloomy, depressing atmosphere. Ohno seemed comfortable enough with it, however, so he didn’t press the matter.
What took him by surprise was how quickly he acclimatized to Ohno’s presence. It definitely wasn’t normal for him to be at ease with another person, but Ohno was easy to be around. Ohno didn’t ask him too many questions or expect him to talk, or seem to find Jun awkward at all. As a result, Jun actually began to talk more - sometimes just to fill in the silence, as Ohno wasn’t much of a talker himself - and forgot about his diffidence before he realized it.
Ninomiya visited him at work now and then, to ask about how far they’ve gotten. He didn’t seem to be in a hurry for the results, so Jun wasn’t worried about the lack of progress, although it didn’t stop him from feeling bad about not being able to help. When he dared to ask what happened between the two of them that Ninomiya couldn’t meet Ohno personally, though, Ninomiya would clam up, and change the subject. Jun quickly learned to stop asking, because Ninomiya seemed to know a wealth of subjects that would get Jun feeling confused or embarrassed (or both). Jun hated when that happened, because he would feel more tongue-tied and self-conscious than ever.
On those days, Jun would walk a little faster to Ohno’s, needing the strange comfort that the other man’s presence gave him.
})i({
Jun was used to being alone. He didn’t have anyone that would consider him a friend, and didn’t consider himself particularly liked by others. It wasn’t something that bothered him, necessarily - it was just the way things were. Some people were good at that - making connections, putting others at ease, opening up to others. He wasn’t. It was that simple. He was used to his quiet, solitary life - until Sakurai Shun’s son, and then Ninomiya, came into his life. And now he could hardly remember a time when he worked without Ninomiya hanging around, asking questions about the books and papers he handled, while sneaking in a personal question every now and then. Jun was very good at avoiding them.
He had Aiba rushing in and out every now and then, running Sho’s errands or just hoping to bump into Ninomiya - the two of them seemed to forget everyone else once they get into a conversation, which gave Jun, for the very first time, the feeling of being left out. On Aiba’s off days Sho might come in himself - Jun wondered what sort of research Sho was working on, but was always too shy to ask. The first time Sho came in while Ninomiya was around, Jun was surprised by the transformation in the scholar he so admired. All the seriousness seemed to melt away, but rather than being met with the distant amusement Jun knew, there was a kind of intimate playfulness to him - an entirely new Sho, as far as Jun was concerned. It was definitely interesting, even if the sight sent tiny twinges of envy and hurt, because this Sho only came out when Ninomiya was around, and only Ninomiya had that kind of effect on others.
And of course, at the end of the day, there was Ohno. Ohno was a mysterious one; Jun was able to determine, after being around the other man on a daily basis, that Ohno lived like a regular person. At the very least, Jun knew that he ate, and slept, and bought things when he needed them. Jun started to consider these things because after he complained that there were no surfaces on which they could work comfortably, due to the lack of furniture, Ohno had bought a large table by Jun’s next visit. How Ohno procured it in such a short time Jun didn’t know, or how he earned the money to get it, since he didn’t seem to ever leave the flat. And he liked the dimly lit, almost barren place he lived in - at the very least, it did not seem to bother him at all.
Ohno also turned out to offer strange observations every now and then, although Jun wasn’t too sure how strange the other man really was. After all, he hadn’t had a lot of people to compare Ohno to - Ninomiya’s sharp tongue, Aiba’s jokes, and Sho’s mutterings on his research subjects didn’t seem to him to be the pillar of normalcy, either.
Maybe everyone was strange, he thought, and he wasn’t as different as he thought in the end. Or maybe he had finally found people he felt he could be at ease with.
})i({
“Ohno-san.”
“Yes?”
“You’ve been translating this book for weeks. Do you have any idea what it’s about?”
Ohno looked at him, and that was when he knew. Ohno seemed guarded, and avoided Jun’s gaze as he replied with a question of his own. “That’s your job, isn’t it?”
“If you say so,” Jun said. He looked at the covered paintings. “Why do you keep those paintings, if you’re just going to cover them up anyway?” He waited for an answer, but Ohno didn’t reply. He wasn’t surprised.
“Did Aiba-san come to see you today?” Ohno asked a few moments later, changing the subject. Jun’s attention left the paintings, as he turned back to the translator. He had been telling Ohno about Aiba, Ninomiya and Sho in his last few visits, but hadn’t thought that the other man was really paying attention.
“He did; how’d you know that? Well, actually he came to see Ninomiya-san, who was trying to find out if I’ve had any progress at all.” Jun smiled as he remembered the conversation between Aiba and Ninomiya earlier that day. “They’ve become good friends, those two.”
“Jun-kun, too.”
“Sorry?”
“You, too - you’re one of them, aren’t you? You’re helping them out with this, after all,” Ohno said, gesturing to the book in his hands.
“That’s just because Ninomiya-san wanted this book identified and appraised, and I’m the only one he knows who could do it.”
“I know Kazu; believe me, he’ll have had his options. He chose you for a reason.”
Somewhat discomfited at the thought, Jun shook his head. “I don’t have - friends,” he confessed.
Ohno let the moment pass, again, and Jun was relieved that Ohno hadn’t found his admission amusing, or worse - sympathized with him. They continued working in silence, and Jun wondered if he should just make up what the book was and how much it was worth. It wasn’t as if anyone Ninomiya took it to would know the difference, he figured.
“We’re friends, aren’t we?”
The question came out of nowhere, and Jun looked at Ohno blankly for some time before realizing that Ohno was continuing the conversation they had let go of earlier. He swallowed, suddenly remembering the uneasy way he felt when they had first met.
“Are we?”
“Of course we are.” Ohno’s smile was sincere; there was not even a hint that he might be being made a fool of. Jun tentatively smiled back, before his feelings started to get too overwhelming, and he dragged his eyes away, and down to train on his hand. A warm glow was settling in his stomach.
“Thank you,” he said, so quietly he doubted that Ohno could hear him, but it didn’t matter.
})i({
Jun knew that it was unusual for him not to press the matter. He was not lying when Ninomiya asked him - he was good at his job. If the situation had been different, he would have worked harder to make sense of Ohno’s translations. He would have done some research on the things that had been niggling at the back of his mind, demanding his attention, that he knew he was willfully ignoring. He would have pressured Ohno to work faster, at the very least.
But finishing the job would mean it would be the end. He would have no reason to show up in the barely habitable flat. Ninomiya would have no reason to come down to the library to pester him. Aiba wouldn’t show up to talk to Ninomiya, and Sho… Jun would probably still see him around, he supposed, until Sho finished with his research. And every now and then they would exchange a few words - Jun’s, mostly monosyllabic, except when he’s answering Sho’s questions.
Once, that would have been enough.
Now, it just made him wish that some things didn’t have to end, that some forged connections, even when made only out of necessity, could hold.
})i({
“Ohno-san.”
“Yes?”
“You’ve been working on that for four hours.” Ohno looked at him, and at the clock hanging on the wall - another addition he’d made, after an off-hand comment from Jun. He then looked at Jun again, waiting for an explanation. “You should take a break.”
“Oh.” Ohno put down the writing instrument in his hand, but didn’t do much else. He frowned. “I guess.”
“I -” Jun hesitated. “I’m going to get a bite to eat before heading home. Would you like to. Um. Come with me?”
Jun watched Ohno closely, apprehensive. Whatever it was that caused his shoulder to bend so much under its weight seemed to lighten its burden, for a brief moment. Then his figure stooped again, and he shook his head slowly. “I’m sorry, Jun-kun.”
It took awhile for Jun to realize that Ohno wasn’t going to explain his rejection. He nodded, and said stiffly, “I understand.” Even though he didn’t understand, not one bit. Not why Ohno was so reluctant, and certainly not why Ohno being reluctant bothered him so much.
})i({
When Jun showed up at Ohno’s again, the other man told him that it wasn’t necessary to come over every single day, because it wasn’t as if he was giving Jun a lot to work with. Ohno spoke even less than before, and when he did, it was always in a polite, distant manner.
Bewildered, and feeling somewhat lost, Jun left earlier than usual.
The next day, he heeded Ohno’s advice, and headed home straight after work, as he was once accustomed to do. He made himself a light meal and settled down with a book, all the while feeling vaguely empty, and wondering how he used to pass the time before.
})i({
Being stuck with extra time that he forgot how he used to spend came as a blessing of sorts. The library had more new acquisitions that they wanted him to help catalogue, and they asked if he could do overtime work, as there were items in the collection that the senior staff thought might be very valuable. Jun accepted the extra work, wanting an excuse not to go to Ohno’s, and to ignore the growing emptiness he was starting to feel.
He didn’t come across anything special at first - a first edition children’s book every now and then that might prove to be worth more in the future, if only the others would believe him. Then he got to a lot of dull volumes on taxes and agriculture and history (mostly records of family lineages), among others. He went through them one by one, spending his time trying hard not to think of other places he could be, other things he could be doing - that he almost missed it.
When he remembered the odd volume that hadn’t fit in, Jun pushed away the stack on his table, and immediately went to get it. He had stuck it away in a corner, because it was thick and heavy and larger than the other books, and it was like too many of the books from Sakurai Shun’s collection that he didn’t want to deal with it until he had to.
He had put it away without really thinking, but as he picked it back up he held it as lightly as possible, recognizing that the covers had the same texture as the strange book that Ninomiya had asked him about.
Opening it slowly, Jun thought that it might be what he really needed in the end. A part of him wondered why he hadn’t thought of it earlier; it was the kind of rarity that would complement Sakurai Shun’s collection, and might even be what Sho had been looking for - although, he supposed that he never considered the fact that the book might actually still exist.
})i({
“Working hard as usual, I see.”
“Ninomiya-san,” Jun greeted. “I was hoping that you’d come.”
Ninomiya grinned. “Missed me already? I know I didn’t come for the last two days, but Sho-chan said you’re busy and haven’t been to Ohno’s -”
“Was it you who called him?” Jun frowned. “Or should I say ‘it’ - they don’t really have genders, do they, in their true forms.”
Ninomiya went from amused to serious in an instant, looked around him to make sure that no one else was around - of course, no one else ever was around Jun’s section of the library - before nodding. “Yes, I was. And as long as Ohno is Ohno, I’d say that he’s definitely a ‘him.’” He paused. “How’d you find out? Did you finish the translations?”
“He hadn’t really translated anything, had he.” It wasn’t a question; Jun realized now that Ohno had been making up the nonsense he had been feeding Jun all that time they worked together. If Ohno was what Jun thought he was - and Ninomiya seemed to be confirming it - then he should have been able to read the text as easily as Jun could read his favourite books. “I looked it up in a compendium of demons.”
“That’s such a misnomer, you know,” Ninomiya mused. “I’d hardly call them ‘demons.’”
“Why’d you call him out?”
“Because I thought that demons were - well, demons.” Ninomiya was definitely no longer amused. There was a hardness in his eyes that had been well-earned, and a tiredness that Jun knew wasn’t feigned. “I did him a disservice, really, calling him here, binding him.”
})i({
Ninomiya was a part-time magician, and a full-time hedge wizard. As glamorous as that sounded, in a world where everyone thought that real sorcery was a thing of the past, the truth was the most powerful thing he could do was make simple potions that work. If he wanted to fake death, or get someone to be temporarily infatuated with him, or heal (as well as cause) basic illnesses, then he could brew up something, sure. But he still resorted to tricks and cunning when it came to earning enough to survive. Then he had found the shadow book in a random purchase, and he thought - he might have just enough magic in him to create - ‘summon’, according to the book - a construct.
He had understood then that the kind of golem he would get depended on what he used to construct them. He had understood that it would take a lot of control to bind them to a form, and that the most he could expect was one who would understand detailed instructions, but no golem was intelligent enough to think for itself. He had understood that they were unfailingly loyal, and that having one would be very useful in his work.
Now, he understood that most of what he had read on them weren’t exactly true.
He doubted that he even ‘created’ Ohno - he suspected that Ohno had existed in a different plane, or world, before Ninomiya had snatched him, and bound him to his humanoid form. Not only that - Ohno’s existence seemed, as far as he could tell, tied to his.
Realizing that he had done something terrible, he did the only thing he could think of at first - pretend it hadn’t happened. Ninomiya had kept telling Ohno that he wasn’t there, hoping it would send him back - but that only worked on the type of creatures that fed on human life forces, and Ohno wasn’t one of them. Ninomiya didn’t know what sort of creature Ohno had been; he had never asked. Ohno talked to him a lot on the first few days, but fell quiet once he realized that Ninomiya wasn’t going to acknowledge him. When Ninomiya accepted that his strategy didn’t work, he started to look up other ways to send Ohno back, or to break the ties between them.
After some time, Ninomiya seemed to give up, and moved out of his flat, knowing that Ohno wouldn’t be able to follow him out. He was thankful that despite all the stupidity that he had indulged in, he at least had the presence of mind to ensure that whatever he created - or summoned - would be trapped in unless he chose to free it.
})i({
“And you just left him there?” Jun was used to Ninomiya enough that he found it easier to talk, but even so, he was surprised by the tone he took with the other man.
Ninomiya shrugged.
“What - why did you ask for my help, then?” Ninomiya probably knew that Ohno could read the book, and even if Jun had knowledge - by way of books - of things that were not quite… normal, Ninomiya still had the advantage when one counted experience. As interested in these esoteric subjects as Jun was, he hadn’t even thought that any of it were real, in the sense that they could still exist. “And why the roundabout way of getting me there?”
“I involved Sho-chan because you’re more likely to help me if it meant an excuse to see him again.” Ninomiya replied, and Jun shifted, annoyed by the other man’s smugness. “And, well - I wasn’t lying. I really couldn’t find him or my old place again. I made myself forget.” He grimaced. “Obviously, that didn’t work too well. I kept having strange dreams, and one morning I woke up with the book next to me - and I know that I hadn’t taken it with me when I left that place. I started to remember, in bits and pieces, and, well. I’ve heard about you, and I thought you could help.”
“Except that I couldn’t,” Jun said quietly. “I’m sorry, Ninomiya-san, but - I don’t know anything about these things, in practice.”
“You know the theory. Better than most, I think. That’s more than anyone else knows. It’s not like the city is brimming with those studying the otherworlders.” Ninomiya paused, calculative. “Sho-chan probably haven’t told you, but he’s currently finishing his dad’s final research on constructs. Since no one really has first-hand experience with handling them these days, you could be a valuable resource to him.”
“Why don’t you ask him to help you, then.” Jun’s reply was testy, and came out a bit hard. “He sounds perfect for the job, and I’m sure he’ll be delighted to get the chance to meet Ohno.”
“Ah, Sho-chan is no good.” Ninomiya actually looked apologetic as he spoke. “He’s smart, and he’s great at research, and writing his papers, and all that. But when it comes to the practical stuff…” Ninomiya trailed off, and shrugged again. Somehow the gesture eloquently showed his general lack of faith in Sho’s ability to dispel Ohno from his life.
"Then," Jun started hesitantly. Ninomiya was definitely paying attention, and he was starting to wonder if he really knew enough to even think of helping. "Why don't you just - set him free?"
Ninomiya's expression darkened. "Even I'm not that heartless," he said. "You know what they'd do if they found a rogue otherworlder walking around."
Jun did know, but he hadn't really thought about it. After all, no one had even heard of demons - or as sympathisers called them, otherworlders - in a long time. He knew that there were still some left behind from Before, but they were all too old and weak, and in some sort of quarantine somewhere. His father’s father had been very young when the war was declared against all things 'Unnatural', and by time his father died ten years previously, there were people who didn't even believe that demons existed. Most of the documents and books from Before had been destroyed; the rare remaining ones were in the custody of his library, and one or two private collectors. Even his field of study was slowly being relegated to "lore", rather than "history". He thought of Ohno, of the strange tan and light hair, of the odd remarks he sometimes made that never quite made sense. "He could pass," Jun said, although he didn't sound convinced. "No one would know."
"I don't think so. He doesn't know anything about living in this world."
"And you think that keeping him trapped in that place is any better?" Jun wondered what Ohno did before he had first stepped into the flat, if Ohno had always just been there, waiting for Ninomiya's return.
"That's why," Ninomiya replied with a long-suffering look, "I need to send him back."
“Oh.”
Jun didn’t know if he wanted Ohno to go away. He had spent so many evenings with Ohno that it was difficult to imagine that Ohno didn’t belong, that his existence was considered against nature. He wondered if that was why he felt comforted and more at ease with Ohno; despite being human, he had always found it hard to connect to others.
He looked away from Ninomiya, and the books on his table, to the chaos of his shelves. Some of those books no longer existed anywhere outside the library. Some were books detailing the hows and whys of magic, of the Unnaturals, and old stories that were only half true. Others were transcripts from Before, and described in vivid details the things that had been done to demons - otherworlders - during the times when they were still being caught, herded, experimented on, and killed. The Dawning, it was called back then, signifying the arrival of the age of science. The Unnaturals were “studied” - that was what they called the killings and the experiments - and dismissed as hoaxes and people ridden with diseases that couldn’t be cured, and must be eradicated. These books, too, have mostly disappeared over time, but he had other relics and reminders at the basement of the library, things that even the museums had refused to keep. Jars and cases of amputated limbs, preserved hearts, vials of potions made from the blood of otherworlders - one of those would increase Ninomiya’s abilities significantly, according to Jun’s books. The scientists called it Frenzy, that it was merely that the diseased blood caused a kind of temporary illness.
})i({
Ohno was surprised to see Jun, but he kept his face blank as he let Jun in. “I haven’t progressed much. Sorry,” he added, locking back up as Jun walked further into the flat.
“I know you could read it,” Jun said. “I know what you are.”
There was still no surprise on Ohno’s face, although his lips lifted in a small smile. “Do you, now.”
“Yes.”
“And what am I?”
Jun hesitated, before giving his answer in a small voice. “Demon.”
Ohno’s smile widened. “I forgot that that’s what you called us.” He glanced at the door behind him; with him in between Jun and it, the only way for Jun to leave was by getting through him. “Have you forgotten that you used to fear us?”
Jun had thought of it, of course. But - “If you wanted to hurt me, you could have done so already.”
“Maybe I’m just biding my time.”
Ignoring Ohno, Jun went on. “Why did you lie, about having trouble translating the book?”
Ohno did not answer, but something in his eyes changed. Jun had always thought of it as a kind of light brown; even that had been an odd colouring to have, but not impossible. Ninomiya’s eyes sometimes had a golden tinge to it at certain angles, but Jun had always attributed that to glamour, or a trick of light. But he was reminded of it when Ohno’s light brown irises flickered, and turned into an almost liquid, golden colour that could never be mistaken as a mere “brown.”
He felt his breath catch, and a voice in the far corners of his mind wondered whether he was awed by the sight, or was just spooked.
He studied Ohno’s wide smile, and noticed how Ohno’s teeth were sharper than his, or any human’s. Why had he not noticed that before?
~continue to part two~
comment in part 2, please :)