Arashi: Something Worth Wishing For, part 2
AUTHOR: marineko/mylittlecthulhu
FANDOM: Arashi
PAIRING: Juntoshi
RATING: PG
DATE: March 8th, 2012
WORD COUNT: 14,100
NOTES/DISCLAIMERS: 1. This is a work of fiction, 2. AU, 3. beta-ed by arashic0804
“You never really looked, that’s all,” Ohno said, as if he could hear Jun’s thoughts. Jun shook his head. He was always more aware of Ohno than he wanted to be; it certainly wasn’t because he hadn’t been paying attention. “Or maybe,” Ohno said, his smile softening, “you only saw what you wanted - or expected - to see.”
Ohno’s tone was warm, but Jun couldn’t help but hear a slightly mocking quality to it. He felt as if he was being taunted; what was he to do with his knowledge now that he had it?
“I want to leave,” he announced. He was pleased by the indifference he had managed to project into his words.
“By all means.” Ohno gestured with his hands, but did not stand aside.
Irritated, Jun stepped forwards, holding his breath as he squeezed pass, hoping to do so without touching the other man. He hadn’t anticipated on Ohno’s hand gently resting on his, though, tracing lightly before letting go. His skin burned where Ohno touched him, but he didn’t know if it was due to being touched by a demon, or came out of his own rush of fear.
Perhaps fear wasn’t quite the right word - but he couldn’t care to figure out the right one at that moment.
“Jun.”
He stopped, his hands at the doorknob. He didn’t turn all the way around; just enough to see Ohno looking at him.
“I could give you anything you desire.”
Ohno’s words sounded so much like the creatures in his books - not the transcripts of history and torture, but the children’s tales warning them against dealing with demons - that he wanted to laugh. He settled for a mocking smile of his own. “I have no use for gold, or power. You should have used that on Ninomiya.”
“I could love you.”
That effectively wiped away his smile. But he was quick, and forced out a laugh. “You’re no incubus. I don’t know what you are, but I know that much.”
He had turned completely by then, and saw Ohno’s expression in its entirety. He saw the hurt flashing in Ohno’s eyes, and the confidence slipping away into a childish pout. “I wouldn’t have offered you that, if I were one. I wouldn’t hurt you.”
“Of course you would. You wouldn’t be able to help it. You would need to love me - or anyone,” Jun hastily added, “and you would hate that your love was killing them, but it would anyway.”
“You would know,” Ohno murmured. He meant that Jun would know about incubi, more so than he - and he was right. Jun did know, although Jun had never dreamed that the knowledge would ever prove useful outside of his studies.
“That’s right,” Jun said, but his voice was a little hoarse, and there was no conviction in the way he spoke. He suddenly felt too heavy, and tired.
“I would give you Sakurai-san,” Ohno said, “but I think your longing for him is really just a symptom. He was just the first to pay you any kind of attention.”
Straightening, Jun spoke harshly. “Get out of my head.”
“I was never in there,” Ohno replied. “I just could feel your strongest desires.”
Jun thought he understood. “You’re a wishmonger.”
“Your wish is my command,” Ohno said in an exaggerated manner. Jun snorted, and gave Ohno a wan smile. Ohno grinned in return, his mouth full of sharp white teeth.
“I have no wishes that is worth bartering my life, or soul, or whatever it was that you want, for.”
Ohno tilted his head slightly, the gold in his eyes dancing like the flickering gas lights. “Ah, but you do. I could taste it, you know, from the moment you first walked in.” He came closer, looking up at Jun. Jun was so caught in his gaze that he didn’t notice the fingers touching his waist lightly, before settling there. Ohno stepped closer, still, and Jun closed his eyes.
He knew that he ought to be backing away, to resist, but he felt strung up and stretched tight inside, and his feet felt rooted to the floor, and the scent of Ohno was making him feel light-headed, that he could barely resist leaning over and touching his lips to Ohno’s exposed neck. “So much loneliness,” Ohno murmured. “You were drowning in it, its smell on you was so strong.” He sounded the way Sho would talk about his lunches, sometimes - as if in rapture. The part of him that always questioned himself was shouting, telling him that whatever he was he wasn’t food, and he pulled back, drawing in a sharp breath.
Jun didn’t say anything as he stumbled backwards, eyes wide and staring at the man before him, until his back slammed against the door. His hands reached out, fumbling at the doorknob again, failing to open it. Then he heard a click, and almost fell over when the door opened itself.
He looked at Ohno again, thinking that something was not quite right, but he pushed the thought out of his mind as he finally escaped the flat.
Jun took the long walk home, knowing that it would be late by the time he reached, but also that he needed the fresh air to clear his head. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t erase Ohno’s words from his mind.
I could love you.
})i({
“Did he say anything to you, before?”
“He doesn’t really talk much, if you remember.” Ninomiya placed the book in his hands back on the table, and Jun tried not to make his relief too apparent. The book was one of a kind, and Ninomiya wasn’t the most careful of readers.
“He didn’t offer to give you anything?”
Ninomiya gave him an incredulous look. “No, he didn’t.”
“Oh.” Jun took the book that Ninomiya had put down, and flipped to the page on wishmongers. “This is what he is,” he told the other man.
He remained silent as Ninomiya read through the passage. Ninomiya hummed to himself as he read, seemingly unimpressed. When he was done, he looked at Jun. “What did he offer you?”
Jun flushed. “It’s, um. Not important,” he said. “The point is, wishmongers are dangerous. Almost all of the people who came into contact with them in the stories came to death or ruin.”
Ninomiya rolled his eyes. “Well, it isn’t as if the successful ones would tell anyone about it. And I think if you ask for the right thing, you might be safe.”
“I don’t have anything to ask for.” Jun kept his eyes on the book between them, avoiding Ninomiya’s gaze.
“Well, I do.” Jun looked up; Ninomiya’s smile wasn’t exactly forced, but it wasn’t happy, either. “Maybe I could just wish him back to where he came from.”
But then he’d be gone, Jun thought. He only realized that he’d spoken out loud when Ninomiya nodded grimly.
“Problem solved.”
})i({
“Thanks, Jun - this book would really help with my research.” Sho was beaming, and Aiba was beaming next to him, commenting that Jun always comes through, and all he could think of is the rush of pleasure he felt was just that, being pleased about a job well done.
“I’m just glad to help,” he said, frowning when Aiba took the book from Sho and pressed at the cover experimentally - probably trying to figure out what it’s made of. Jun had his guesses, but he would rather not know. “Please take care of it, though,” he added quickly. “I think it’s the only copy that’s still intact, so…”
“Don’t worry.” Sho smiled. “We’ll return it to you in -” he glanced warily at Aiba - “relatively good shape.”
“Hey,” Aiba protested half-heartedly. He was still running his hands over the cover, but in a gentler manner this time. “Wonder what this is made of…?”
“The skin of otherworlder children, I think,” Sho replied distractedly as he wrote down more titles for Jun to look up. He didn’t seem to think that he had said anything strange, but Jun winced, hating that his suspicions was confirmed, and Aiba yelped, letting go of the book. Thankfully, he had fast reflexes, and managed to grab it back before it hit the ground.
“That’s a close one.”
“You damage that one, and the replacement is going to be made out of your own skin.” He blinked, then, somewhat surprised that he had said what he did. He kept his expression guarded as he watched Sho and Aiba look back at him blankly. Then Aiba let out a small laugh, and grinned as he addressed Sho.
“See? I told you that there’s a scary person in him that’s just waiting to come out!”
Jun shot him a glare, but it only served to delight Aiba further. Sho gave him a sympathetic smile and a shrug, which Jun interpreted as just go along with it, you can’t win with him.
Suspecting that Sho was right, Jun decided to let it be.
(And besides, he had to admit that he was just a little pleased by Aiba’s assessment of him.)
})i({
Emboldened by Aiba and Sho’s visit, Jun found himself heading to Ohno’s flat on his way back from work. He reminded himself that it really was Ninomiya’s flat, but he couldn’t help but think of it as Ohno’s.
When he was finally in front of the front door, though, he didn’t know what he was doing there. He contemplated leaving, but as he was still trying to convince himself to do so, the door open.
Ohno peered at him sleepily. “Are you coming in, or are you just going to stand there?”
Jun started to step in, out of habit, but then he stopped. “Is your name really Ohno?”
“Kazu gave me the name when he - bound me.”
So Ninomiya had given both Ohno’s form and shape, Jun thought. He wondered if Ohno resented that. “Ninomiya-san wanted me to make a wish.”
Ohno dragged a hand through his hair, as if to smooth it out, but it still looked sleep-tangled, which Jun found endearing. Dangerously so, he thought, and told himself again to be cautious. “You have to be careful with wishes,” Ohno said.
“He wanted me to wish you back to where you came from.”
There was a hint of a pout in Ohno’s response. “I’d rather stay here.”
“But you’re trapped,” Jun pointed out. “You can’t leave this place, and there’s nothing for you here.”
Ohno considered Jun’s words, but didn’t agree or disagree. He stepped back, holding the door open. Jun didn’t have to see the invitation in his eyes to know what he was saying. He told himself that it’s a bad idea, but he still took a step forwards, and when Ohno’s hand left the door and offered itself to him, his own hesitantly accepted.
})i({
The otherworlders had every right to live in his world, Jun learned. It was the way things had been, once, before the humans sealed them away.
“It’s a shadow world,” Ohno had said, as lips brushed against skin. “Those of us who could, would conjure up luxuries or amenities, but still.” Fingers insistent, touching, demanding. “We don’t really live; we merely exist.”
Jun didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. It was only when they ended, too soon and not soon enough, that he thought to ask himself why. “Is this really better?” he asked instead. He told himself that it was useless to stick to his usual inhibitions, and forced himself to look at Ohno in the eye.
The way they glittered up him in the dark wasn’t quite natural, and he suppressed a shudder. Then he thought of that word - natural - and how the otherworlders had been called Unnaturals in the past. Who was it, he wondered, that had decided what was natural, and what wasn’t?
The otherworlders weren’t even from another world. That was one thing that wasn’t in any of the surviving historical documents, and also the one thing Jun knew he could never even hint to in his papers, not if he wanted to avoid being branded as diseased, and sent off into quarantine.
He wondered if there were other things that he could no longer learn from books. He thought of asking, but then Ohno smiled his (deceptively) sleepy smile, and all of his thoughts were quickly chased away.
})i({
“Jun?”
He straightened up and tried to appear attentive, but it was too late - from the look on Sho’s face, Sho had probably called him several times before he noticed. “Sorry,” he said. “I’ve been - distracted.”
“I could see that,” Sho replied dryly. Jun’s eyes narrowed at the other man, but there was only concern - and perhaps a slight tinge of amusement. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” Jun replied, although it came out a bit too hasty. “I’m just - how’s your research going, by the way?”
Sho lifted an eyebrow at the obvious change of subject, but didn’t comment on it. He told Jun about his readings about constructs, both in the old stories and descriptions of them in the diaries and transcripts Jun had helped him find. It was difficult getting any material at all, really - even his father’s extensive collection hadn’t included much of what he needed, but Jun had been very helpful in tracking them down. It was strange, though; he was beginning to question the very idea of a “construct”.
“I think Ninomiya-san had said something similar,” Jun commented, when Sho said that he didn’t think that constructs were actually constructed by men. “Perhaps you should ask him about it.”
“You know about him?”
“That he’s a hedge wizard?” Jun nodded. “The subject came up… sometime ago.”
“Mm,” Sho responded. “That was how we knew each other; my dad took Nino in when he was doing a paper on magic users and genealogy. Nothing much happened with the paper, but Nino stayed on with us, and we grew up together.”
That would explain Ninomiya’s apparent wealth, Jun supposed. It also explained how he would have heard of Jun in the first place.
“What would you do -” Jun stopped mid-sentence, trying to decide if he should finish it. “What if you could meet a construct?”
“A lot of tests and questionings would be in order, I guess. Wouldn’t that be exciting?” Sho laughed. “As if you could even find one, these days.”
})i({
“Ma-tsu-mo-to.”
“What is it?” He didn’t try to hide his irritation, as he contemplated the text before him. Aiba had brought in soup to Sho’s office, neglecting to mention to his employer that they were made by him, and therefore should be treated with caution. Sho only managed to take a couple of sips before almost choking, and spitting it back out onto his research.
Sho had apologized profusely, and promised not to handle any rare documents in Aiba’s proximity in the future. That, combined with the fact that Jun thought that he could restore the ruined pages, meant that Sho was off the hook.
It didn’t make Jun any less upset, though.
“I’ve called you a couple of times, but you didn’t reply.”
“I heard you,” Jun said. “I just chose to ignore you.”
Ninomiya wasn’t the least bit offended, and took the seat across from Jun’s. “Have you handled it?”
“Handled what, exactly?”
“Our demon problem.”
Bristling, Jun replied tartly, “Ohno isn’t a problem.”
“He is to me.”
“Then it’s your problem, isn’t it.” He knew it was childish, and it wasn’t as if he wanted Ninomiya to face things and get rid of Ohno himself. But now that he was used to Ninomiya, he was finding the man less intimidating, and a lot more aggravating.
Ninomiya just gave him a considering look, before changing the subject. “Have Sho told you anything about his research?”
“He thinks that constructs aren’t man-made, but you’ve already said that and it doesn’t matter whether or not he could prove it; they would still say it’s heresy.”
“That’ll certainly be an interesting change in his career,” Ninomiya mused.
“What career? If he actually finishes that paper and publishes it, he won’t have one much longer.”
“I suppose that’s true; even his father’s reputation wouldn’t help him there.” Nino frowned, concerned, but then took a breath and smile at Jun. “You’re not tripping yourself over him any more.”
“It wasn’t as if I ever did that in the first place,” Jun muttered, looking away. “I just - looked up to him, I guess. He’s so much like his father.”
“He’s not an idiot; that much is true.” Ninomiya seemed to genuinely relax, then. “He won’t do something as stupid as publishing something like that.”
Jun wondered if that was really true. But he had other things to worry about. “Um. About Ohno…”
“Don’t worry. If you can’t wish for him to go back for some reason, I’ll find another way.”
“I don’t want him to go back.” He spoke quickly, and from the way Ninomiya looked at him, he probably hadn’t spoken very clearly, either. “I said -”
“I know what you said.” Ninomiya sighed. “What happened? Did he offer you unimaginable wealth, or perhaps more old books, since that obviously tickles your fancy more than practical things? Did he ask to be set free, and made you feel sorry for him? Did he charm you, and made you decide that you want him all to yourself?”
Jun could school his expression all he liked, and pretended to be aloof, but he couldn’t stop the inevitable blush that came as he recalled his last visit to Ohno’s. Not for the first time, he cursed the fact that his feelings were so easily readable.
Ninomiya didn’t miss Jun’s reddening, and his lips stretched into a grin. “Really?”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to. It’s written all over your face.” Ninomiya’s glee at Jun’s discomfort soon faded, as questions began to form in his head. He gave Jun a thoughtful look, knowing that Jun had probably considered the same questions. “I think it’s time that I paid a visit to my old home.”
})i({
Ohno’s delight at Jun’s arrival was as obvious as the way he got quiet and solemn when he saw that Ninomiya had come with him.
“Kazu,” he said in greeting.
Jun had wondered about that. He had thought that Ninomiya mostly ignored Ohno when he was still living in the flat, but Ohno always spoke of Ninomiya like someone he knew very well.
“He’s just freaky like that,” Ninomiya said to him, as he motioned for Jun to go in first. “Don’t think about it too much.”
That was quickly becoming a mantra of sorts, Jun thought sourly. “Don’t think about it too much.” That had been the answer to how Ohno’s shadow world was like, how Ohno was still the same age he was when the purge happened, what he should do with the bits and pieces of knowledge that he had been able to glean from Ohno or Sho about what had really happened. He knew that they had probably been right - there was not much they could do now, and the kind of magic users strong enough to undo the creation of the shadow world, or the trapping of the otherworlders there, no longer existed. No one was that powerful anymore. Ninomiya was one of the strongest that Sho’s father had found, and he had found his limit in the calling and binding of Ohno. So, really, not thinking about it too much was probably the thing to do.
Except that Jun couldn’t stop thinking about it. When he slept, he dreamed of what the shadow world must be like - a barren place, Ohno had said. A dark place, although that suited many of its inhabitants just fine. A place where no one and nothing ever changes - and without any real future to look forward to, it also was a place devoid of hope.
He could understand how even Ninomiya’s flat might be preferable than that.
“Jun, are you coming in?”
Both Ninomiya and Ohno were looking at him expectantly, so he shook away his thoughts, and followed them in.
})i({
Ninomiya wanted Ohno gone. It wasn’t personal, he insisted, but he was tired of being haunted by the shadow book and the dreams. His dreams were worse than Jun’s; in them, it was as if the otherworlders could see him, and were always clawing at him, clinging to him, asking him to bring them back. It was his connection to Ohno that had done it, and he thought that with Ohno gone, it would stop.
Ohno didn’t want to return to the shadow world. He offered no reason, but both Jun and Ninomiya had seen enough of it in their dreams to understand.
Jun didn’t know what he wanted. He glanced from Ninomiya, noting the tense, hollow look in his eyes, to Ohno, who took his hand, and squeezed in reassuringly. He knew what Ohno was saying. Whatever happens, it wouldn’t be your fault.
He appreciated it, but knowing it didn’t make any difference. He still wanted both Ninomiya and Ohno to be free from the thing that bound them, and he still didn’t want Ohno to leave. It wasn’t even about his feelings for Ohno, or lack thereof - it was the fact that he would not want to send any person to that place that Nino had dragged Ohno out of.
“I know we’ve talked about this before,” he said to Ninomiya, “but couldn’t you just set him free, without sending him back?”
Ninomiya sounded tired. “I’ve told you. It’s dangerous; I think they have sensors that detect Unnatural activities. That’s how they found me in the first place. If dad hadn’t stepped in, and took me away in the name of research, I don’t know what would’ve happened to me. Right now he’s bound, and isn’t emitting anything that would be picked up, but if he’s free…”
Affronted, Ohno said mildly, “I am capable of control.”
“I’m sure you are, but this kind of power isn’t static, and even doing nothing you’re going to be raising alarms. If you wanted to stay under the radar, you’d be using more than half your power just keeping everything under wraps.”
“He’s already doing that,” Jun pointed out, although he only realized it as he said it out loud. “That’s why you’re always lethargic,” he said to Ohno, smiling fondly. When Ohno returned the smile, he felt the now familiar heat twisting in him, and bit his lips. That was something he needed to address as well, he thought, but perhaps not in Ninomiya’s presence.
He turned to Ninomiya, then, to see the other man looking at him shrewdly. Flame once again lit his cheeks - why must he always be so obvious? - and he spoke quickly. “So, you see, he could handle himself just fine.”
“It’s still a lot to risk,” Ninomiya said, uncertain. “I’m sorry,” he added, this time addressing Ohno personally. “But there are worse things than death - I have read the transcripts of what had been done to your kind in captivity - and I don’t want to be responsible for sending you out to get caught by them.”
“Kazu,” Ohno said gently. “You’re not responsible for me, or for what happens to me. I know you think you did a bad thing, bringing me here, binding me into this form, but - I don’t mind.”
“You used to be anything you wanted.”
“As fun as being magical wish-granting fishes, luck birds, elements stuck in lamps, or any of the forms had been, I still enjoy being me. I’m Ohno Satoshi now, and I’m okay with that.” He looked at Ninomiya, silently asking for him to be okay with it, too.
“I’m sorry.” Ninomiya’s voice was quiet, and low. Jun looked down, thinking that it was probably something that was only meant for Ohno to hear.
“Let me go,” Ohno said. It wasn’t a request, but wasn’t quite a demand, either. Jun turned to him, despite telling himself that this was between the other two. “Kazu doesn’t have to worry so much, or feel so guilty either. And besides,” he added, with a smile on his lips that Jun could only describe as wicked, “Jun-kun will take very good care of me.”
})i({
Ninomiya was grudging and unconvinced that it would end well, but he had agreed to free Ohno. Ohno still would be stuck in his current form, Ninomiya explained - that was something he couldn’t undo. But at least Ohno would no longer be bound to him, or trapped in the flat. Ninomiya asked to give it a week before they tried, just in case any of them changed their mind.
It was three more days before the full week would be up, and Jun hadn’t been to visit since. He knew he should be, to talk to Ohno about what was going on, if nothing else. But he kept replaying the words Ohno had said in his mind, and wondered how much of Ohno’s attention was because Ohno thought it was his wish. He didn’t want Ohno, not if it wasn’t real.
“He’s been asking about you.”
Jun hardly spared a glance in Ninomiya’s direction. He was on his lunch break, which he usually spent at the university courtyard. Nothing had changed, except for the fact that there was someone pawing at the book he’d brought to read, and Ninomiya sitting across him smiling smugly. “Who has?”
Ninomiya’s eyes slid toward Aiba. “You know who I’m talking about.”
Aiba looked up from the book. “You guys can talk around me. I already know everything.”
There was a silence as both Jun and Ninomiya stared at Sho’s secretary. Aiba just smiled sheepishly, and shrugged. “What? I was supposed to look for his address, wasn’t I? When I was looking for him I found out that no such person existed, but then I looked through my notes again one day and it was just there, the address, in my handwriting. It was too strange not to investigate, so I, um, kind of dropped by there every now and then, to chat with Oh-chan. I know that he’s magic and all. I won’t tell.”
“So.” Jun frowned, trying to digest the new information, but it was just not happening. “You’ve met Ohno.”
“Plenty of times,” Aiba replied, nodding vigorously. He put aside Jun’s book, and unwrapped the lunch he brought with him. “Want a sandwich?” he asked Ninomiya. Jun remembered Sho’s soup story, and was glad that he had his own lunch.
Ninomiya was about to accept the sandwich, but then he noticed that whatever it was that Aiba put between the two pieces of bread was rainbow coloured, and snatched his hand back. “I think I’d rather not die of indigestion today.”
Aiba just rolled his eyes, and dug in, before letting out a blissful sigh. “So good.” He ate a few more bites before adding, “I also know that you’re going to free him, and that he and Jun want to play house together, except that he’s a demon so if anyone catches you two, Jun would be in big trouble, too.”
Jun’s throat went dry. “Well,” he said. “That remains to be seen.”
He could feel Ninomiya’s eyes on him, but he kept his own on his lunch, and didn’t say another thing on the subject. Thankfully, Aiba was already changing the subject, and started an argument with Ninomiya, which, as all their arguments did, ended with Ninomiya being exasperated and calling Aiba an idiot, which only made Aiba laugh.
Aiba had to return to Sho’s office, and Ninomiya had an appointment with a client - the first time Jun actually heard about Ninomiya doing actual work - so Jun returned to the library alone. He didn’t have much to do that day, and since no one else actually came down to his section, he read some of the books from Sakurai Shun’s collection, and wondered how Sho was doing with his research. Sho hadn’t come to the library since he told Jun about his theory on constructs, and Aiba hadn’t mentioned anything about it, either.
He was still thinking about the paper when he was walking down the steps of the library, that he almost missed the familiar figure waiting for him there. He paused, and didn’t know if he was startled, or happy, or uneasy, or all of them at once.
“Hello,” Ohno said. When Jun just stared at him, he held out his hand. “I’m Ohno Satoshi.”
It took him awhile, but Jun slowly held out his own hand to take Ohno’s. “Matsumoto. Um, Jun.”
“Well, Matsumoto Um Jun. I think that -”
“When did you get out?” Jun asked, interrupting. “How did you get out?”
“Kazu unmade the bindings last night. They only fully fell apart this evening, though.”
“But -” Jun stopped, because he didn’t know what he wanted to say.
“I think you still owe me dinner.”
Jun vaguely remembered asking Ohno out once, when he still didn’t know the truth. “I suppose that’s true,” he conceded. “I’ll make you something; what do you want?”
“Curry,” Ohno replied promptly.
Jun smiled. “Have you ever even had curry before?” He only remembered Ohno eating a lot of bread, from his visits to the flat. Some days he would bring food, but he had never brought curry before.
“No. But I smelled it on the way here, and I think it’s my new favourite.”
Laughing a little, Jun nodded, and thought of taking Ohno’s hand - then he realized that he was still holding it. “Curry it is, then. Come on.”
Ohno seemed happy, he thought, and it was his first night out of that flat. It probably wasn’t a good time for Jun to ask questions - not yet.
})i({
Jun didn’t know what to make of Ohno. He was interested in every little detail in Jun’s apartment, staring at the small paintings Jun had hung, pulling at the books on his shelves, and touching the tiny clockwork mechanisms Jun collected in amazement. Jun had placed them all in a cabinet made of glass - he had only went to his kitchen to get Ohno a drink while waiting, but by the time he was back out, Ohno was already sitting in front of the now open cabinet, holding up a small mechanical representation of a djinn.
“It’s me,” Ohno told him, dumbfounded.
“It’s not you,” Jun explained. “It’s a djinn; they’re - I guess they’re a kind of wishmonger. You’re right.”
“What does it do?”
“This one? Nothing much.” Jun plucked the djinn from Ohno’s hands, and turned the small key at its side. It made a whirring sound as the metal that formed its body parted, and readjusted into the shape of a lamp. “It’s a toy. It’s based on some of the children’s stories from Before.”
“What kind of magic is that?”
“It’s not magic.” Jun explained a little about how the mechanicals worked, demonstrating a couple of others from his collection. “They really don’t do anything. They’re - frivolous, I guess.”
“They’re amazing.” Captivated, Ohno turned back to the cabinet, determined to try every single one of Jun’s mechanical toys. Jun smiled, amused, and left Ohno to start on dinner.
Since Ohno and Aiba were already friends, Jun figured that he should be introduced to Sho as well. He hadn’t planned on telling Sho what Ohno really was, but Ohno did so anyway - Sho’s excitedness to be face-to-face with an actual Otherworlder was hard to contain, even after he’d remembered that he couldn’t actually write about Ohno in his papers.
By the time a week had passed, Ohno seemed to have assimilated well enough that people hardly looked at him strangely when he was out in public. He had found that he could still change his colouring, if not his shape, and made sure that he had darker hair and eyes, and slightly paler skin when outdoors. Once he entered his flat, or Jun’s, though, they would go back to their usual state.
“Why don’t you just keep the other colouring?” Jun asked. “Isn’t it tiring to change all the time?”
“This is more comfortable,” Ohno explained. “It’s me.”
Jun didn’t understand how one colouring could be more comfortable than another, but didn’t bother to question it. Ohno was strange - he supposed that was all he needed to know. He had to admit that the lightness of Ohno’s hair made him want to run his fingers through them. Some days he gave in to the impulse. On these days he would almost bring up the question that had been haunting him, but he always backed away at the last minute.
“Jun-kun?”
“Mm?”
“You want something.”
“How could you tell?”
Ohno gave him a look; of course, Ohno could tell.
“You want something, and it’s different, somehow. I don’t know what it is.” This seemed to bother Ohno, who was frowning deeply. It didn’t suit him at all.
“Don’t worry about it,” Jun said. “I’m human; we’re always wanting something we can’t have. You can’t go around granting my wishes all the time, anyway.”
“But I want to.”
“I don’t want you to.”
Jun had spoken a little too harshly, and Ohno was taken aback. “I see,” he said quietly. “If that’s what Jun wants.”
})i({
Ohno stopped talking to Jun about wishes, and never showed Jun any display of his powers since, unless one counted his changing colours. Jun thought it was for the best; Ninomiya wasn’t lying, after all. Ohno’s magic, or whatever it was that made him what he was, could easily be felt by those in the same space as him. Most of the people who knew nothing about such things attributed it to Ohno’s strange charm, or charisma. Ohno slept a lot, and seemed half-awake the rest of the time, so Jun knew that he was using a lot of energy just suppressing - or redirecting - his powers.
He learned more about the mechanicals Jun collected, and soon started to collect scrap metals and discarded parts to make his own. It was such a human thing to do - even Ohno had said as much - but he enjoyed it, and it gave him an outlet that wasn’t magic. He spent many of his days making new useless but charming objects to fill Jun’s cabinet with, and on other days he would sit in Sho’s office, talking.
Jun never asked what they talked about. He didn’t think it was his business, so he pushed aside his curiosity, and focused on the time he spent alone with Ohno instead.
It was only after a full month had passed that he asked.
})i({
They were alone in the library; Jun was working late, and Ohno had dropped by to pick him up. Although Ohno was officially still living in Ninomiya’s abandoned flat, he spent most of his days at Jun’s.
Jun was working on restoring a text from a different section of the library, that a student had damaged somehow. He mumbled to himself about careless children and the destruction of sacred objects, while Ohno sat next to him, looking very demure. He wasn’t fooling Jun one bit, but Jun was too charmed to care, which irritated him to no end. Why did Ohno affect him the way he did? It really must be magic of some sort, he decided.
“Remember when you told me that you could give me what I desire the most?”
Ohno looked like a shadow fell over him. “Jun, wishes can be dangerous.”
“I’m not making a wish,” Jun said. “I just - you can tell, can’t you? What I want the most.”
“I can’t.” When Jun stopped, and turned to him, he explained, “it’s not really something I ‘see’ - it’s something I can feel, I guess. Like an instinct. But it gets cloudy when it conflicts with or comes too close to my own - needs.”
Jun wasn’t sure he understood, but he supposed it didn’t matter. “What I want to know is - was that why you stayed with me?” Ohno looked puzzled, and he let out a sigh. He was going to have to spell it out, he realized, and felt a pang in his chest. Maybe he should just leave things be; ignorance really could be the key to happiness, after all. But. “You said - you would love me. Because it was what I wanted.”
“Ah.” Understanding, Ohno nodded. “I did say that.”
So it was true. Jun took a long, shaky breath. “And what if I didn’t want that anymore?”
He had read about proud wishmongers who would be offended if anyone dared to return their “gifts”. He had read about others who loved to encourage humans to make the wrong kinds of wishes, or who would only find humans who would misuse their wishes, to their own detriment. He had read more about wishmongers in the last month than he had read about anything else, and all of his readings said that they may seem affable at first, but were not to be trifled with. But he didn’t think he could go on living a lie, pretending at having a relationship - not when his feelings were so painfully real.
He felt like he waited forever before Ohno finally replied. “That would be bad.” He let out a sigh of his own, sounding so human, that Jun’s breath caught - for only a moment. “Because I lied,” Ohno added, almost as if in afterthought.
“You - what?”
“I lied.” Ohno shifted, turning the chair so he faced Jun properly. “You know that none of the wishes I grant would do you - or anyone - actual good. These things have a curse of their own, and they always manage to find a way to twist things around until they became the worst thing that could happen to you, instead. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“You didn’t use your powers to grant a wish, but you still said -”
“That was a lie, too. I told you; I couldn’t read your wishes if they conflicted with my own.”
“You had your own wish to make.”
“Yes.”
Something that felt akin to hope sparked in him, but he wouldn’t let it take hold, wouldn’t let himself get to a place where disappointment would feel even worse that it would. Still, in a voice that didn’t quite sound like his own, he asked. “What did you wish for?”
“You.”
Oh.
It was like someone had had their hands on his throat for so long, and finally let go, the relief was so strong. Everything felt like too much, and he didn’t know if he was going to laugh or cry, and ended up with a little - just a little - of both. He didn’t reach for Ohno; he didn’t need to. Neither did Ohno come closer to him - perhaps understanding that he needed to sort things out in his head, first.
Once, he had thought that he knew a lot of things that others didn’t. But ever since he met Ohno, it seemed like his assumptions kept being proven wrong, again and again. It had been as frustrating as it was exhilarating, to learn how many more truths he had yet to uncover. This time, though, he didn’t mind it a single bit.
When Ohno stood up, came close, and leaned to hold him from behind, his breath warm on Jun’s cheeks, Jun said, as lightly as he could manage, “I have a confession to make.”
Ohno’s hands were starting to stray. Jun caught them, holding them in his. He still had work to finish, and refused to be distracted for very long. But, he thought, first things first.
He still had one more wish, and just the right person to tell it to.
~ the end ~
return to part one
Notes:
Earlier this morning I posted this with a different title, because it was the title of the document I saved it as, and I had forgotten that I changed the title since ^^; Sorry for the confusion!
As usual, everything I write is heavily influenced by whatever I'm reading/listening to/watching at the time. For this fic, it was Sarah Monette's short stories (especially the Booth stories, which made me want to write IntrovertedArchivist!Jun), about three novels by Ginn Hale, a lot of fanfic, and weirdly enough, the movie Kate & Leopold XD
Also, hope you like it? :D
FANDOM: Arashi
PAIRING: Juntoshi
RATING: PG
DATE: March 8th, 2012
WORD COUNT: 14,100
NOTES/DISCLAIMERS: 1. This is a work of fiction, 2. AU, 3. beta-ed by arashic0804
“You never really looked, that’s all,” Ohno said, as if he could hear Jun’s thoughts. Jun shook his head. He was always more aware of Ohno than he wanted to be; it certainly wasn’t because he hadn’t been paying attention. “Or maybe,” Ohno said, his smile softening, “you only saw what you wanted - or expected - to see.”
Ohno’s tone was warm, but Jun couldn’t help but hear a slightly mocking quality to it. He felt as if he was being taunted; what was he to do with his knowledge now that he had it?
“I want to leave,” he announced. He was pleased by the indifference he had managed to project into his words.
“By all means.” Ohno gestured with his hands, but did not stand aside.
Irritated, Jun stepped forwards, holding his breath as he squeezed pass, hoping to do so without touching the other man. He hadn’t anticipated on Ohno’s hand gently resting on his, though, tracing lightly before letting go. His skin burned where Ohno touched him, but he didn’t know if it was due to being touched by a demon, or came out of his own rush of fear.
Perhaps fear wasn’t quite the right word - but he couldn’t care to figure out the right one at that moment.
“Jun.”
He stopped, his hands at the doorknob. He didn’t turn all the way around; just enough to see Ohno looking at him.
“I could give you anything you desire.”
Ohno’s words sounded so much like the creatures in his books - not the transcripts of history and torture, but the children’s tales warning them against dealing with demons - that he wanted to laugh. He settled for a mocking smile of his own. “I have no use for gold, or power. You should have used that on Ninomiya.”
“I could love you.”
That effectively wiped away his smile. But he was quick, and forced out a laugh. “You’re no incubus. I don’t know what you are, but I know that much.”
He had turned completely by then, and saw Ohno’s expression in its entirety. He saw the hurt flashing in Ohno’s eyes, and the confidence slipping away into a childish pout. “I wouldn’t have offered you that, if I were one. I wouldn’t hurt you.”
“Of course you would. You wouldn’t be able to help it. You would need to love me - or anyone,” Jun hastily added, “and you would hate that your love was killing them, but it would anyway.”
“You would know,” Ohno murmured. He meant that Jun would know about incubi, more so than he - and he was right. Jun did know, although Jun had never dreamed that the knowledge would ever prove useful outside of his studies.
“That’s right,” Jun said, but his voice was a little hoarse, and there was no conviction in the way he spoke. He suddenly felt too heavy, and tired.
“I would give you Sakurai-san,” Ohno said, “but I think your longing for him is really just a symptom. He was just the first to pay you any kind of attention.”
Straightening, Jun spoke harshly. “Get out of my head.”
“I was never in there,” Ohno replied. “I just could feel your strongest desires.”
Jun thought he understood. “You’re a wishmonger.”
“Your wish is my command,” Ohno said in an exaggerated manner. Jun snorted, and gave Ohno a wan smile. Ohno grinned in return, his mouth full of sharp white teeth.
“I have no wishes that is worth bartering my life, or soul, or whatever it was that you want, for.”
Ohno tilted his head slightly, the gold in his eyes dancing like the flickering gas lights. “Ah, but you do. I could taste it, you know, from the moment you first walked in.” He came closer, looking up at Jun. Jun was so caught in his gaze that he didn’t notice the fingers touching his waist lightly, before settling there. Ohno stepped closer, still, and Jun closed his eyes.
He knew that he ought to be backing away, to resist, but he felt strung up and stretched tight inside, and his feet felt rooted to the floor, and the scent of Ohno was making him feel light-headed, that he could barely resist leaning over and touching his lips to Ohno’s exposed neck. “So much loneliness,” Ohno murmured. “You were drowning in it, its smell on you was so strong.” He sounded the way Sho would talk about his lunches, sometimes - as if in rapture. The part of him that always questioned himself was shouting, telling him that whatever he was he wasn’t food, and he pulled back, drawing in a sharp breath.
Jun didn’t say anything as he stumbled backwards, eyes wide and staring at the man before him, until his back slammed against the door. His hands reached out, fumbling at the doorknob again, failing to open it. Then he heard a click, and almost fell over when the door opened itself.
He looked at Ohno again, thinking that something was not quite right, but he pushed the thought out of his mind as he finally escaped the flat.
Jun took the long walk home, knowing that it would be late by the time he reached, but also that he needed the fresh air to clear his head. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t erase Ohno’s words from his mind.
I could love you.
})i({
“Did he say anything to you, before?”
“He doesn’t really talk much, if you remember.” Ninomiya placed the book in his hands back on the table, and Jun tried not to make his relief too apparent. The book was one of a kind, and Ninomiya wasn’t the most careful of readers.
“He didn’t offer to give you anything?”
Ninomiya gave him an incredulous look. “No, he didn’t.”
“Oh.” Jun took the book that Ninomiya had put down, and flipped to the page on wishmongers. “This is what he is,” he told the other man.
He remained silent as Ninomiya read through the passage. Ninomiya hummed to himself as he read, seemingly unimpressed. When he was done, he looked at Jun. “What did he offer you?”
Jun flushed. “It’s, um. Not important,” he said. “The point is, wishmongers are dangerous. Almost all of the people who came into contact with them in the stories came to death or ruin.”
Ninomiya rolled his eyes. “Well, it isn’t as if the successful ones would tell anyone about it. And I think if you ask for the right thing, you might be safe.”
“I don’t have anything to ask for.” Jun kept his eyes on the book between them, avoiding Ninomiya’s gaze.
“Well, I do.” Jun looked up; Ninomiya’s smile wasn’t exactly forced, but it wasn’t happy, either. “Maybe I could just wish him back to where he came from.”
But then he’d be gone, Jun thought. He only realized that he’d spoken out loud when Ninomiya nodded grimly.
“Problem solved.”
})i({
“Thanks, Jun - this book would really help with my research.” Sho was beaming, and Aiba was beaming next to him, commenting that Jun always comes through, and all he could think of is the rush of pleasure he felt was just that, being pleased about a job well done.
“I’m just glad to help,” he said, frowning when Aiba took the book from Sho and pressed at the cover experimentally - probably trying to figure out what it’s made of. Jun had his guesses, but he would rather not know. “Please take care of it, though,” he added quickly. “I think it’s the only copy that’s still intact, so…”
“Don’t worry.” Sho smiled. “We’ll return it to you in -” he glanced warily at Aiba - “relatively good shape.”
“Hey,” Aiba protested half-heartedly. He was still running his hands over the cover, but in a gentler manner this time. “Wonder what this is made of…?”
“The skin of otherworlder children, I think,” Sho replied distractedly as he wrote down more titles for Jun to look up. He didn’t seem to think that he had said anything strange, but Jun winced, hating that his suspicions was confirmed, and Aiba yelped, letting go of the book. Thankfully, he had fast reflexes, and managed to grab it back before it hit the ground.
“That’s a close one.”
“You damage that one, and the replacement is going to be made out of your own skin.” He blinked, then, somewhat surprised that he had said what he did. He kept his expression guarded as he watched Sho and Aiba look back at him blankly. Then Aiba let out a small laugh, and grinned as he addressed Sho.
“See? I told you that there’s a scary person in him that’s just waiting to come out!”
Jun shot him a glare, but it only served to delight Aiba further. Sho gave him a sympathetic smile and a shrug, which Jun interpreted as just go along with it, you can’t win with him.
Suspecting that Sho was right, Jun decided to let it be.
(And besides, he had to admit that he was just a little pleased by Aiba’s assessment of him.)
})i({
Emboldened by Aiba and Sho’s visit, Jun found himself heading to Ohno’s flat on his way back from work. He reminded himself that it really was Ninomiya’s flat, but he couldn’t help but think of it as Ohno’s.
When he was finally in front of the front door, though, he didn’t know what he was doing there. He contemplated leaving, but as he was still trying to convince himself to do so, the door open.
Ohno peered at him sleepily. “Are you coming in, or are you just going to stand there?”
Jun started to step in, out of habit, but then he stopped. “Is your name really Ohno?”
“Kazu gave me the name when he - bound me.”
So Ninomiya had given both Ohno’s form and shape, Jun thought. He wondered if Ohno resented that. “Ninomiya-san wanted me to make a wish.”
Ohno dragged a hand through his hair, as if to smooth it out, but it still looked sleep-tangled, which Jun found endearing. Dangerously so, he thought, and told himself again to be cautious. “You have to be careful with wishes,” Ohno said.
“He wanted me to wish you back to where you came from.”
There was a hint of a pout in Ohno’s response. “I’d rather stay here.”
“But you’re trapped,” Jun pointed out. “You can’t leave this place, and there’s nothing for you here.”
Ohno considered Jun’s words, but didn’t agree or disagree. He stepped back, holding the door open. Jun didn’t have to see the invitation in his eyes to know what he was saying. He told himself that it’s a bad idea, but he still took a step forwards, and when Ohno’s hand left the door and offered itself to him, his own hesitantly accepted.
})i({
The otherworlders had every right to live in his world, Jun learned. It was the way things had been, once, before the humans sealed them away.
“It’s a shadow world,” Ohno had said, as lips brushed against skin. “Those of us who could, would conjure up luxuries or amenities, but still.” Fingers insistent, touching, demanding. “We don’t really live; we merely exist.”
Jun didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. It was only when they ended, too soon and not soon enough, that he thought to ask himself why. “Is this really better?” he asked instead. He told himself that it was useless to stick to his usual inhibitions, and forced himself to look at Ohno in the eye.
The way they glittered up him in the dark wasn’t quite natural, and he suppressed a shudder. Then he thought of that word - natural - and how the otherworlders had been called Unnaturals in the past. Who was it, he wondered, that had decided what was natural, and what wasn’t?
The otherworlders weren’t even from another world. That was one thing that wasn’t in any of the surviving historical documents, and also the one thing Jun knew he could never even hint to in his papers, not if he wanted to avoid being branded as diseased, and sent off into quarantine.
He wondered if there were other things that he could no longer learn from books. He thought of asking, but then Ohno smiled his (deceptively) sleepy smile, and all of his thoughts were quickly chased away.
})i({
“Jun?”
He straightened up and tried to appear attentive, but it was too late - from the look on Sho’s face, Sho had probably called him several times before he noticed. “Sorry,” he said. “I’ve been - distracted.”
“I could see that,” Sho replied dryly. Jun’s eyes narrowed at the other man, but there was only concern - and perhaps a slight tinge of amusement. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” Jun replied, although it came out a bit too hasty. “I’m just - how’s your research going, by the way?”
Sho lifted an eyebrow at the obvious change of subject, but didn’t comment on it. He told Jun about his readings about constructs, both in the old stories and descriptions of them in the diaries and transcripts Jun had helped him find. It was difficult getting any material at all, really - even his father’s extensive collection hadn’t included much of what he needed, but Jun had been very helpful in tracking them down. It was strange, though; he was beginning to question the very idea of a “construct”.
“I think Ninomiya-san had said something similar,” Jun commented, when Sho said that he didn’t think that constructs were actually constructed by men. “Perhaps you should ask him about it.”
“You know about him?”
“That he’s a hedge wizard?” Jun nodded. “The subject came up… sometime ago.”
“Mm,” Sho responded. “That was how we knew each other; my dad took Nino in when he was doing a paper on magic users and genealogy. Nothing much happened with the paper, but Nino stayed on with us, and we grew up together.”
That would explain Ninomiya’s apparent wealth, Jun supposed. It also explained how he would have heard of Jun in the first place.
“What would you do -” Jun stopped mid-sentence, trying to decide if he should finish it. “What if you could meet a construct?”
“A lot of tests and questionings would be in order, I guess. Wouldn’t that be exciting?” Sho laughed. “As if you could even find one, these days.”
})i({
“Ma-tsu-mo-to.”
“What is it?” He didn’t try to hide his irritation, as he contemplated the text before him. Aiba had brought in soup to Sho’s office, neglecting to mention to his employer that they were made by him, and therefore should be treated with caution. Sho only managed to take a couple of sips before almost choking, and spitting it back out onto his research.
Sho had apologized profusely, and promised not to handle any rare documents in Aiba’s proximity in the future. That, combined with the fact that Jun thought that he could restore the ruined pages, meant that Sho was off the hook.
It didn’t make Jun any less upset, though.
“I’ve called you a couple of times, but you didn’t reply.”
“I heard you,” Jun said. “I just chose to ignore you.”
Ninomiya wasn’t the least bit offended, and took the seat across from Jun’s. “Have you handled it?”
“Handled what, exactly?”
“Our demon problem.”
Bristling, Jun replied tartly, “Ohno isn’t a problem.”
“He is to me.”
“Then it’s your problem, isn’t it.” He knew it was childish, and it wasn’t as if he wanted Ninomiya to face things and get rid of Ohno himself. But now that he was used to Ninomiya, he was finding the man less intimidating, and a lot more aggravating.
Ninomiya just gave him a considering look, before changing the subject. “Have Sho told you anything about his research?”
“He thinks that constructs aren’t man-made, but you’ve already said that and it doesn’t matter whether or not he could prove it; they would still say it’s heresy.”
“That’ll certainly be an interesting change in his career,” Ninomiya mused.
“What career? If he actually finishes that paper and publishes it, he won’t have one much longer.”
“I suppose that’s true; even his father’s reputation wouldn’t help him there.” Nino frowned, concerned, but then took a breath and smile at Jun. “You’re not tripping yourself over him any more.”
“It wasn’t as if I ever did that in the first place,” Jun muttered, looking away. “I just - looked up to him, I guess. He’s so much like his father.”
“He’s not an idiot; that much is true.” Ninomiya seemed to genuinely relax, then. “He won’t do something as stupid as publishing something like that.”
Jun wondered if that was really true. But he had other things to worry about. “Um. About Ohno…”
“Don’t worry. If you can’t wish for him to go back for some reason, I’ll find another way.”
“I don’t want him to go back.” He spoke quickly, and from the way Ninomiya looked at him, he probably hadn’t spoken very clearly, either. “I said -”
“I know what you said.” Ninomiya sighed. “What happened? Did he offer you unimaginable wealth, or perhaps more old books, since that obviously tickles your fancy more than practical things? Did he ask to be set free, and made you feel sorry for him? Did he charm you, and made you decide that you want him all to yourself?”
Jun could school his expression all he liked, and pretended to be aloof, but he couldn’t stop the inevitable blush that came as he recalled his last visit to Ohno’s. Not for the first time, he cursed the fact that his feelings were so easily readable.
Ninomiya didn’t miss Jun’s reddening, and his lips stretched into a grin. “Really?”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to. It’s written all over your face.” Ninomiya’s glee at Jun’s discomfort soon faded, as questions began to form in his head. He gave Jun a thoughtful look, knowing that Jun had probably considered the same questions. “I think it’s time that I paid a visit to my old home.”
})i({
Ohno’s delight at Jun’s arrival was as obvious as the way he got quiet and solemn when he saw that Ninomiya had come with him.
“Kazu,” he said in greeting.
Jun had wondered about that. He had thought that Ninomiya mostly ignored Ohno when he was still living in the flat, but Ohno always spoke of Ninomiya like someone he knew very well.
“He’s just freaky like that,” Ninomiya said to him, as he motioned for Jun to go in first. “Don’t think about it too much.”
That was quickly becoming a mantra of sorts, Jun thought sourly. “Don’t think about it too much.” That had been the answer to how Ohno’s shadow world was like, how Ohno was still the same age he was when the purge happened, what he should do with the bits and pieces of knowledge that he had been able to glean from Ohno or Sho about what had really happened. He knew that they had probably been right - there was not much they could do now, and the kind of magic users strong enough to undo the creation of the shadow world, or the trapping of the otherworlders there, no longer existed. No one was that powerful anymore. Ninomiya was one of the strongest that Sho’s father had found, and he had found his limit in the calling and binding of Ohno. So, really, not thinking about it too much was probably the thing to do.
Except that Jun couldn’t stop thinking about it. When he slept, he dreamed of what the shadow world must be like - a barren place, Ohno had said. A dark place, although that suited many of its inhabitants just fine. A place where no one and nothing ever changes - and without any real future to look forward to, it also was a place devoid of hope.
He could understand how even Ninomiya’s flat might be preferable than that.
“Jun, are you coming in?”
Both Ninomiya and Ohno were looking at him expectantly, so he shook away his thoughts, and followed them in.
})i({
Ninomiya wanted Ohno gone. It wasn’t personal, he insisted, but he was tired of being haunted by the shadow book and the dreams. His dreams were worse than Jun’s; in them, it was as if the otherworlders could see him, and were always clawing at him, clinging to him, asking him to bring them back. It was his connection to Ohno that had done it, and he thought that with Ohno gone, it would stop.
Ohno didn’t want to return to the shadow world. He offered no reason, but both Jun and Ninomiya had seen enough of it in their dreams to understand.
Jun didn’t know what he wanted. He glanced from Ninomiya, noting the tense, hollow look in his eyes, to Ohno, who took his hand, and squeezed in reassuringly. He knew what Ohno was saying. Whatever happens, it wouldn’t be your fault.
He appreciated it, but knowing it didn’t make any difference. He still wanted both Ninomiya and Ohno to be free from the thing that bound them, and he still didn’t want Ohno to leave. It wasn’t even about his feelings for Ohno, or lack thereof - it was the fact that he would not want to send any person to that place that Nino had dragged Ohno out of.
“I know we’ve talked about this before,” he said to Ninomiya, “but couldn’t you just set him free, without sending him back?”
Ninomiya sounded tired. “I’ve told you. It’s dangerous; I think they have sensors that detect Unnatural activities. That’s how they found me in the first place. If dad hadn’t stepped in, and took me away in the name of research, I don’t know what would’ve happened to me. Right now he’s bound, and isn’t emitting anything that would be picked up, but if he’s free…”
Affronted, Ohno said mildly, “I am capable of control.”
“I’m sure you are, but this kind of power isn’t static, and even doing nothing you’re going to be raising alarms. If you wanted to stay under the radar, you’d be using more than half your power just keeping everything under wraps.”
“He’s already doing that,” Jun pointed out, although he only realized it as he said it out loud. “That’s why you’re always lethargic,” he said to Ohno, smiling fondly. When Ohno returned the smile, he felt the now familiar heat twisting in him, and bit his lips. That was something he needed to address as well, he thought, but perhaps not in Ninomiya’s presence.
He turned to Ninomiya, then, to see the other man looking at him shrewdly. Flame once again lit his cheeks - why must he always be so obvious? - and he spoke quickly. “So, you see, he could handle himself just fine.”
“It’s still a lot to risk,” Ninomiya said, uncertain. “I’m sorry,” he added, this time addressing Ohno personally. “But there are worse things than death - I have read the transcripts of what had been done to your kind in captivity - and I don’t want to be responsible for sending you out to get caught by them.”
“Kazu,” Ohno said gently. “You’re not responsible for me, or for what happens to me. I know you think you did a bad thing, bringing me here, binding me into this form, but - I don’t mind.”
“You used to be anything you wanted.”
“As fun as being magical wish-granting fishes, luck birds, elements stuck in lamps, or any of the forms had been, I still enjoy being me. I’m Ohno Satoshi now, and I’m okay with that.” He looked at Ninomiya, silently asking for him to be okay with it, too.
“I’m sorry.” Ninomiya’s voice was quiet, and low. Jun looked down, thinking that it was probably something that was only meant for Ohno to hear.
“Let me go,” Ohno said. It wasn’t a request, but wasn’t quite a demand, either. Jun turned to him, despite telling himself that this was between the other two. “Kazu doesn’t have to worry so much, or feel so guilty either. And besides,” he added, with a smile on his lips that Jun could only describe as wicked, “Jun-kun will take very good care of me.”
})i({
Ninomiya was grudging and unconvinced that it would end well, but he had agreed to free Ohno. Ohno still would be stuck in his current form, Ninomiya explained - that was something he couldn’t undo. But at least Ohno would no longer be bound to him, or trapped in the flat. Ninomiya asked to give it a week before they tried, just in case any of them changed their mind.
It was three more days before the full week would be up, and Jun hadn’t been to visit since. He knew he should be, to talk to Ohno about what was going on, if nothing else. But he kept replaying the words Ohno had said in his mind, and wondered how much of Ohno’s attention was because Ohno thought it was his wish. He didn’t want Ohno, not if it wasn’t real.
“He’s been asking about you.”
Jun hardly spared a glance in Ninomiya’s direction. He was on his lunch break, which he usually spent at the university courtyard. Nothing had changed, except for the fact that there was someone pawing at the book he’d brought to read, and Ninomiya sitting across him smiling smugly. “Who has?”
Ninomiya’s eyes slid toward Aiba. “You know who I’m talking about.”
Aiba looked up from the book. “You guys can talk around me. I already know everything.”
There was a silence as both Jun and Ninomiya stared at Sho’s secretary. Aiba just smiled sheepishly, and shrugged. “What? I was supposed to look for his address, wasn’t I? When I was looking for him I found out that no such person existed, but then I looked through my notes again one day and it was just there, the address, in my handwriting. It was too strange not to investigate, so I, um, kind of dropped by there every now and then, to chat with Oh-chan. I know that he’s magic and all. I won’t tell.”
“So.” Jun frowned, trying to digest the new information, but it was just not happening. “You’ve met Ohno.”
“Plenty of times,” Aiba replied, nodding vigorously. He put aside Jun’s book, and unwrapped the lunch he brought with him. “Want a sandwich?” he asked Ninomiya. Jun remembered Sho’s soup story, and was glad that he had his own lunch.
Ninomiya was about to accept the sandwich, but then he noticed that whatever it was that Aiba put between the two pieces of bread was rainbow coloured, and snatched his hand back. “I think I’d rather not die of indigestion today.”
Aiba just rolled his eyes, and dug in, before letting out a blissful sigh. “So good.” He ate a few more bites before adding, “I also know that you’re going to free him, and that he and Jun want to play house together, except that he’s a demon so if anyone catches you two, Jun would be in big trouble, too.”
Jun’s throat went dry. “Well,” he said. “That remains to be seen.”
He could feel Ninomiya’s eyes on him, but he kept his own on his lunch, and didn’t say another thing on the subject. Thankfully, Aiba was already changing the subject, and started an argument with Ninomiya, which, as all their arguments did, ended with Ninomiya being exasperated and calling Aiba an idiot, which only made Aiba laugh.
Aiba had to return to Sho’s office, and Ninomiya had an appointment with a client - the first time Jun actually heard about Ninomiya doing actual work - so Jun returned to the library alone. He didn’t have much to do that day, and since no one else actually came down to his section, he read some of the books from Sakurai Shun’s collection, and wondered how Sho was doing with his research. Sho hadn’t come to the library since he told Jun about his theory on constructs, and Aiba hadn’t mentioned anything about it, either.
He was still thinking about the paper when he was walking down the steps of the library, that he almost missed the familiar figure waiting for him there. He paused, and didn’t know if he was startled, or happy, or uneasy, or all of them at once.
“Hello,” Ohno said. When Jun just stared at him, he held out his hand. “I’m Ohno Satoshi.”
It took him awhile, but Jun slowly held out his own hand to take Ohno’s. “Matsumoto. Um, Jun.”
“Well, Matsumoto Um Jun. I think that -”
“When did you get out?” Jun asked, interrupting. “How did you get out?”
“Kazu unmade the bindings last night. They only fully fell apart this evening, though.”
“But -” Jun stopped, because he didn’t know what he wanted to say.
“I think you still owe me dinner.”
Jun vaguely remembered asking Ohno out once, when he still didn’t know the truth. “I suppose that’s true,” he conceded. “I’ll make you something; what do you want?”
“Curry,” Ohno replied promptly.
Jun smiled. “Have you ever even had curry before?” He only remembered Ohno eating a lot of bread, from his visits to the flat. Some days he would bring food, but he had never brought curry before.
“No. But I smelled it on the way here, and I think it’s my new favourite.”
Laughing a little, Jun nodded, and thought of taking Ohno’s hand - then he realized that he was still holding it. “Curry it is, then. Come on.”
Ohno seemed happy, he thought, and it was his first night out of that flat. It probably wasn’t a good time for Jun to ask questions - not yet.
})i({
Jun didn’t know what to make of Ohno. He was interested in every little detail in Jun’s apartment, staring at the small paintings Jun had hung, pulling at the books on his shelves, and touching the tiny clockwork mechanisms Jun collected in amazement. Jun had placed them all in a cabinet made of glass - he had only went to his kitchen to get Ohno a drink while waiting, but by the time he was back out, Ohno was already sitting in front of the now open cabinet, holding up a small mechanical representation of a djinn.
“It’s me,” Ohno told him, dumbfounded.
“It’s not you,” Jun explained. “It’s a djinn; they’re - I guess they’re a kind of wishmonger. You’re right.”
“What does it do?”
“This one? Nothing much.” Jun plucked the djinn from Ohno’s hands, and turned the small key at its side. It made a whirring sound as the metal that formed its body parted, and readjusted into the shape of a lamp. “It’s a toy. It’s based on some of the children’s stories from Before.”
“What kind of magic is that?”
“It’s not magic.” Jun explained a little about how the mechanicals worked, demonstrating a couple of others from his collection. “They really don’t do anything. They’re - frivolous, I guess.”
“They’re amazing.” Captivated, Ohno turned back to the cabinet, determined to try every single one of Jun’s mechanical toys. Jun smiled, amused, and left Ohno to start on dinner.
Since Ohno and Aiba were already friends, Jun figured that he should be introduced to Sho as well. He hadn’t planned on telling Sho what Ohno really was, but Ohno did so anyway - Sho’s excitedness to be face-to-face with an actual Otherworlder was hard to contain, even after he’d remembered that he couldn’t actually write about Ohno in his papers.
By the time a week had passed, Ohno seemed to have assimilated well enough that people hardly looked at him strangely when he was out in public. He had found that he could still change his colouring, if not his shape, and made sure that he had darker hair and eyes, and slightly paler skin when outdoors. Once he entered his flat, or Jun’s, though, they would go back to their usual state.
“Why don’t you just keep the other colouring?” Jun asked. “Isn’t it tiring to change all the time?”
“This is more comfortable,” Ohno explained. “It’s me.”
Jun didn’t understand how one colouring could be more comfortable than another, but didn’t bother to question it. Ohno was strange - he supposed that was all he needed to know. He had to admit that the lightness of Ohno’s hair made him want to run his fingers through them. Some days he gave in to the impulse. On these days he would almost bring up the question that had been haunting him, but he always backed away at the last minute.
“Jun-kun?”
“Mm?”
“You want something.”
“How could you tell?”
Ohno gave him a look; of course, Ohno could tell.
“You want something, and it’s different, somehow. I don’t know what it is.” This seemed to bother Ohno, who was frowning deeply. It didn’t suit him at all.
“Don’t worry about it,” Jun said. “I’m human; we’re always wanting something we can’t have. You can’t go around granting my wishes all the time, anyway.”
“But I want to.”
“I don’t want you to.”
Jun had spoken a little too harshly, and Ohno was taken aback. “I see,” he said quietly. “If that’s what Jun wants.”
})i({
Ohno stopped talking to Jun about wishes, and never showed Jun any display of his powers since, unless one counted his changing colours. Jun thought it was for the best; Ninomiya wasn’t lying, after all. Ohno’s magic, or whatever it was that made him what he was, could easily be felt by those in the same space as him. Most of the people who knew nothing about such things attributed it to Ohno’s strange charm, or charisma. Ohno slept a lot, and seemed half-awake the rest of the time, so Jun knew that he was using a lot of energy just suppressing - or redirecting - his powers.
He learned more about the mechanicals Jun collected, and soon started to collect scrap metals and discarded parts to make his own. It was such a human thing to do - even Ohno had said as much - but he enjoyed it, and it gave him an outlet that wasn’t magic. He spent many of his days making new useless but charming objects to fill Jun’s cabinet with, and on other days he would sit in Sho’s office, talking.
Jun never asked what they talked about. He didn’t think it was his business, so he pushed aside his curiosity, and focused on the time he spent alone with Ohno instead.
It was only after a full month had passed that he asked.
})i({
They were alone in the library; Jun was working late, and Ohno had dropped by to pick him up. Although Ohno was officially still living in Ninomiya’s abandoned flat, he spent most of his days at Jun’s.
Jun was working on restoring a text from a different section of the library, that a student had damaged somehow. He mumbled to himself about careless children and the destruction of sacred objects, while Ohno sat next to him, looking very demure. He wasn’t fooling Jun one bit, but Jun was too charmed to care, which irritated him to no end. Why did Ohno affect him the way he did? It really must be magic of some sort, he decided.
“Remember when you told me that you could give me what I desire the most?”
Ohno looked like a shadow fell over him. “Jun, wishes can be dangerous.”
“I’m not making a wish,” Jun said. “I just - you can tell, can’t you? What I want the most.”
“I can’t.” When Jun stopped, and turned to him, he explained, “it’s not really something I ‘see’ - it’s something I can feel, I guess. Like an instinct. But it gets cloudy when it conflicts with or comes too close to my own - needs.”
Jun wasn’t sure he understood, but he supposed it didn’t matter. “What I want to know is - was that why you stayed with me?” Ohno looked puzzled, and he let out a sigh. He was going to have to spell it out, he realized, and felt a pang in his chest. Maybe he should just leave things be; ignorance really could be the key to happiness, after all. But. “You said - you would love me. Because it was what I wanted.”
“Ah.” Understanding, Ohno nodded. “I did say that.”
So it was true. Jun took a long, shaky breath. “And what if I didn’t want that anymore?”
He had read about proud wishmongers who would be offended if anyone dared to return their “gifts”. He had read about others who loved to encourage humans to make the wrong kinds of wishes, or who would only find humans who would misuse their wishes, to their own detriment. He had read more about wishmongers in the last month than he had read about anything else, and all of his readings said that they may seem affable at first, but were not to be trifled with. But he didn’t think he could go on living a lie, pretending at having a relationship - not when his feelings were so painfully real.
He felt like he waited forever before Ohno finally replied. “That would be bad.” He let out a sigh of his own, sounding so human, that Jun’s breath caught - for only a moment. “Because I lied,” Ohno added, almost as if in afterthought.
“You - what?”
“I lied.” Ohno shifted, turning the chair so he faced Jun properly. “You know that none of the wishes I grant would do you - or anyone - actual good. These things have a curse of their own, and they always manage to find a way to twist things around until they became the worst thing that could happen to you, instead. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“You didn’t use your powers to grant a wish, but you still said -”
“That was a lie, too. I told you; I couldn’t read your wishes if they conflicted with my own.”
“You had your own wish to make.”
“Yes.”
Something that felt akin to hope sparked in him, but he wouldn’t let it take hold, wouldn’t let himself get to a place where disappointment would feel even worse that it would. Still, in a voice that didn’t quite sound like his own, he asked. “What did you wish for?”
“You.”
Oh.
It was like someone had had their hands on his throat for so long, and finally let go, the relief was so strong. Everything felt like too much, and he didn’t know if he was going to laugh or cry, and ended up with a little - just a little - of both. He didn’t reach for Ohno; he didn’t need to. Neither did Ohno come closer to him - perhaps understanding that he needed to sort things out in his head, first.
Once, he had thought that he knew a lot of things that others didn’t. But ever since he met Ohno, it seemed like his assumptions kept being proven wrong, again and again. It had been as frustrating as it was exhilarating, to learn how many more truths he had yet to uncover. This time, though, he didn’t mind it a single bit.
When Ohno stood up, came close, and leaned to hold him from behind, his breath warm on Jun’s cheeks, Jun said, as lightly as he could manage, “I have a confession to make.”
Ohno’s hands were starting to stray. Jun caught them, holding them in his. He still had work to finish, and refused to be distracted for very long. But, he thought, first things first.
He still had one more wish, and just the right person to tell it to.
~ the end ~
return to part one
Notes:
Earlier this morning I posted this with a different title, because it was the title of the document I saved it as, and I had forgotten that I changed the title since ^^; Sorry for the confusion!
As usual, everything I write is heavily influenced by whatever I'm reading/listening to/watching at the time. For this fic, it was Sarah Monette's short stories (especially the Booth stories, which made me want to write IntrovertedArchivist!Jun), about three novels by Ginn Hale, a lot of fanfic, and weirdly enough, the movie Kate & Leopold XD
Also, hope you like it? :D