Matt is fast asleep. Had Catrina over for dinner, made some meatloaf, mashed potatoes and veggies, watched some tv and comedians, smoked some hookah... I don't know why but I was feeling confused about Matt the whole time. Maybe he was being mildly standoffish. Not sure ( Read more... )

I've had mixed feelings while here. Being with Matt is nice... but it also makes me feel paranoid. I hate the feeling of being paranoid, so it makes me want to push away harder than usual. He keeps trying to be open and honest with me, telling me who's texting and calling him, showing me his phone to make me feel more secure and comfortable ( Read more... )

He's widdled away my shield, taking little nips at it here and there. Every time he compromises my trust and weakens me, I rebuild my wall and forgive him. But somehow he has still managed to push his way through, and now he's knocking on that door that I locked all those months ago ( Read more... )

Yesterday I had my MEPS physical. I was stupid and stayed up with Christina and Ashley watching You've Got Mail until nearly midnight, and had to get up at three for a shower so I could get on the road before 4... So I got less than three hours of sleep. Not good, since I had no sleep Sunday night...

Picked up some breakfast, got there about 4:50AM ( Read more... )

I was falling asleep in my political theory class this morning. I don't know how I stayed up all night. I don't know how I managed to write three papers last night over material I didn't read, and a bunch of research articles thrown in there to boot. I must be psychotic.

Motoki was texting me all night, he was up studying too. I think he was hinting ( Read more... )

Went to Wurstfest last night with my cousin, Hannah, and a big group of guys we met at a party Friday night. Motoki, his roommate (I keep forgetting his name because I'm not sure how to pronounce it), Waldo, and we invited Matt last minute bc we didn't want him to be upset about us taking away his new friends...

Matt invited Kevin without asking, ( Read more... )

100 crunches in 2 minutes.
Flexed arm hang, 70 seconds.
3 mile run, 21 minutes.

Looking at it on paper... it looks so much easier than it actually is. I've been working out past two days, really trying to push myself but not to the point where I hurt myself. I know that I need to ease myself into it, but I don't want to baby it either.

Wednesday I ( Read more... )

 Yesterday I had my interview with Captain Martinez, the head recruiter for USMC Officers in Texas. The meeting went extremely well. Hopefully I'll have more time to talk about it later. I came home in a great mood, went to meeting, came back from meeting and had a LONG talk with Christina. We talked about a lot of things. It was a great talk ( Read more... )

I've never felt like more of a parasite.

I'm waiting for honor board to deliberate. The way they looked at me when I told them the financial obligation was too much... That I didn't feel at home, that I felt unwanted....

They were looking at me like a parasite that sits in someones intestine and sucks up their nutrients. Like a plague victim that ( Read more... )

 I've been going through all of my music today, sorting parts of my itunes library. I do this randomly... it would take me a week without sleep to actually sort all of it, but I make dents in it every now and then. Anyway, going through my library and listening to old/new songs... makes me think about different stages in my life.

So here are some ( Read more... )