Tenses and Pronouns, Part Two - commentary

[kalleah]

For papilio_luna  for the commentary meme. Feel free to go there and suggest something else!  Original story here.

You go to my master list and pick a one-shot, or a single chapter of one of my multichapters, and comment to this post with your selection. I have links to commentaries I've done previously along with the story link on the master list, so no fair

Comments

[goldy_dollar]

Aww, this was fun to re-read and even better with the commentary. I was just telling someone last night that I'm always curious to read fic commentaries from people who write smut well as it is a talent I do not have. XD

I don’t see a lot of comfort for Ten in the choice he made for Rose. He thought it was best and right, but I don’t see it giving him the warm fuzzies about it.

This made me make a sort of laugh and make a sad noise all at once. Aww D:.

[kalleah]

This made me make a sort of laugh and make a sad noise all at once.

I think it's true though! Ten did it because he thought it was The Best Thing for Everyone* and not because it gave him joy or comfort.

* Everyone except him

[papilio_luna]

Thank you, occasional shirtless David Tennant.
Indeed.

It’s difficult not to get too clinical (and then the socks, and then the pants, and then …) but it would also be awkward to forget a key piece of clothing.
This made me lol but it is true. That's always my big fear with writing sex scenes just in general, that risk of just giving a play-by-play.

He didn't speak, but he was a wonderfully heavy breather. Sexy.
Mmmmph. Yeah, I don't know why, but that is really, really sexy.

Lots more to come on that count, especially with the story I’m slowly, slowly, slowly working on.
Hooray!

I love them both so, and I wanted this to be a happy, forward-looking ending.
Awwww. It is. It's got just the right level of angst for there to be a conflict, but not enough that it ever flirts with there not being a happy ending.

[kalleah]

Mmmmph. Yeah, I don't know why, but that is really, really sexy.

I have never been a fan of extensive dirty talk ... but the auditory experience, let's say, is very important. I'll cite the entire sex scene from Love in the 21st Century as exhibit A.

[np_complete]

*loves*

[kalleah]

I'm so glad. Thanks :)