It took more than a year, but now I know. A part of me knew before but was insanely in denial. Thank you Lord for giving me the chance to confirm what I really know. I hope he just gets what he deserves. I will live and be forever thankful for not ending up with a psychopath like him.

It's astonishing how we need to put up so many layers everyday just to pretend we're fine.

I try to live drama free. But all my friends have all these issues that they fling at me all the time. Some running for months on end. I'm trying to be a good friend by never waving them away when I myself am struggling with my own stuff, which unlike most people, I don't strap around for the whole world to see. I just want to tune out this world ( Read more... )

Today was a bad day. Mom talked to me about life plans. I was forced to remember you. It's still hard. But I know it's better this way.

I have been so swamped with work. I haven't had a decent sleep in weeks. But when I finally got around to sleeping, I dreamt about you. In my dream we were in a grassy field with a sea of people. You were in the middle searching for me. The warm sun kissing your dashing face.  You were wearing a light tan suit. I ran swiftly towards you my dress ( Read more... )

I don't know if it's just me or because I've been such a robot in the pot few months that I can't seem to connect with people that easily. Maybe I'm a really a snob. In any case,  I find it absolutely draining to deal with people.

I saw a handful of my friends go to SG this long weekend. I grew sad because I used to go to SG every year. Twice in some years. Now I can't seem to bring myself to go to that place, which had brought me so much happiness and sadness too. Then I thought about you. My thoughts are not bad nor good but more of a wondering thought. I don't remember ( Read more... )

My friend showed me a blog entry, which his fiance wrote when she was in college about unrequited love.  Our conversation spilled into the discussion of writing when your depressed or sad. I said, "writing in a state of sadness is truly an infinitely beautiful thing. You put into paper something that makes your body tremble and immobilized, or both ( Read more... )

Tomorrow will be better. I pray that you will no longer graze my thoughts and fill my days with bursts of sadness. Tomorrow would be better. I will not longer hear the sound of you voice, and the warmth of your stare.

Nothing is permanent. It might be hard today, but tomorrow I would stand taller, think clearer and trust the timing of my life. STOP procrastinating. UGH. LLM sit tight I'm gonna go after you.