i had this dream once where i understood everything and everyone understood me and i didn't have to try so hard to get my point across. it was only a dream, because if i mean one i say two and then the person hears two, thinks two, and judges me based off of two. sometimes i do things without conscious knowledge and say things without thinking ( Read more... )

wow, a lot has happened. my life has drifted onward so far in front of me and i'm just washing myself off from my past. i guess we will all move forwards and leave our pasts to fade away like the memories of our childhood. i'm especially confused these days with my future, its so huge of a task so it kinda scares me off. sometimes i wish i could ( Read more... )

we are nothing more than biochemical reactions moving our biological bodies. these chemicals make us fail. we are only human. we are only nothing but a string of biochemical failures linking us to others. past,present,future. i will fail and in doing so i will fulfill my life expectancy.
-k.kai

i've been lying to myself again ( Read more... )

so i wrap everything up in a tight sheet of denial and push it deep inside where i'll never find it. i just wish everything didn't have to end like this. i knew it had to end and i accepted it, but with every little fuck up i make, it just reopens the wound and i don't know how to treat it. it makes me bitter and cynical towards anything in my ( Read more... )

yeah its finally over. she hates me and she deserves to. boy, i really fucked up. my first real fuck up and i did at exactly the wrong time to exactly the wrong girl. i dont know if i'll ever love someone as much as i did her. but i guess thats not really important now. it feels so weird to say, " this is the end, the end of the road and its all my ( Read more... )

i find myself looking for one answer, one to satisfy all of my questions. some people tell me i should find things to keep my mind off of it. some say to find something i can pour my passion into. i did at one time. i was a very complex personality, but since my focus has been disrupted i have expanded my surface area and i am not one complex ( Read more... )

i remember a time when we all sat down on that couch and watched them intently while we passed it all around. i remember, i remember as they became distant and the road i traveled every friday was awkward and way too dark. i remember when i tried to explain myself a thousand times over and they weren't paying attention, they never were i guess. i ( Read more... )

a blossoming explosion deep inside ( Read more... )

Ich liebe Dich steph und ich immer Wille. Selbst wenn der Mond stirbt und die Sonne ausbrennt, wärme mich ich in der Liebe unserer Herzen.
-kai-