Memeness
Since I am lame, I'm only doing half of this word association meme. Now that I have acquired sleep, here's my five words from subversive.
COUCH: Sometimes, my own sense of humor amuses me and I come up with the weirdest shit. Like the couch. Honestly, when Lina said she was hungry and didn't have anything to eat, suggesting she eat the couch... I have no idea where that came from. But it amused me and I ran with it. And then I personified the couch and it became a ridiculous running joke with Lina. And will continue to do so because it amuses me. One that note:
The Couch needs love too.
Kitty-Couch Macro.
Teresa: Just deleted three paragraphs of teel deer. As with most characters I end up picking up, Teresa grabbed me early on into her story and never let go. For being in such a small section of the manga (only 13 chapters, iirc), she probably is the single character with the most impact on the story, save for the main character, and even that can be argued as Teresa is the reason the main character exists as she does (same with the 'main' villain, etc, etc). She was the most powerful Claymore ever created and the hope of the Organization to fulfill the real purpose behind their group, despite being a known problem child from her early years. The youma in Claymore are presented as the evil bad guys, but Teresa always knew that the humans were really the evil ones from the moment she was sold to the Organization as a child.
Still, years of training, indoctrination and the competitive companionship of another powerful Claymore allowed her to forget that and she kept herself very separated from the other Claymores, other people in general. She killed what she was ordered too, had a little fun scaring humans, before she left and enjoyed a self-imposed isolation in the wilderness before the next assignment came around. And that changed when she met a human girl that rekindled human emotions in her - compassion, sadness, and anger. Because of the girl, Teresa was directly faced with the knowledge that humans were by far crueler than youma and she violated the single most important law the Organization had, which lead to her being hunted and killed. Her death came about not because she was physically bested, as Teresa did win the fight between herself and Priscilla (the only one in existence with the capacity to kill her), but because Teresa yielded in compassion. She defeated herself and she accepts that. She is an amazing example of absolute power balanced by control and compassion. Okay, so there was still a lot of teel deer in here.
Badass chicks: 'Badass chicks' as many seem to categorize them, seem to be my preferred character type. Most people have a character type that they naturally gravitate toward. I guess it says something about the person as to why they like playing that type of character and maybe it is even a reflection of the player as well.
Let me clarify. I don't see myself as a badass chick (despite having a sword collection), but I am a strong, direct woman that won't back down from something I believe in. I have an array of emotions and do sometimes doubt myself, but mostly I am a confident woman. I don't like to cry since a part of me sees it as weakness and I don't want to be weak, even if intellectually I recognize that the act of crying does not make me weak, it is just an outlet for emotion when it becomes so intense it threatens to overwhelm. The 'badass chick' mentality is just something I identify with well and there are definitely a variety of characters that fall into that category. I like to think I've chosen my collection of badass chick characters from that variety and they aren't all the same, but maybe they are. But even then, I still enjoy them and that's really what matters.
Sin - as a name and a concept: Sin is the first non-family based nickname I was ever given. I used to be part of this international organization called The Camarilla that was pretty much a geek haven for LARPers that played White Wolf games (Vampire: the Masquerade, Werewolf: the Apocalypse, etc). I used to be extremelly active in this group when I still lived back east, so much that I even held a regional assistant storyteller position for a while. I think it was in 2003/2004 that I was given the nickname Sin by my friend, rowan_anwyl, who I sadly have not talked to in ages.
The nickname stemmed from two places. The first is it's a shortened version of a mispronunciation of my name. My name is Alyson. It is properly pronounced Aal-eh-sun. The mispronunciation is Aal-eh-sin. So, it was cut down to Sin. The second place it stems from is that, at the time, I was single and an equal opportunity flirter. Basically, I was an available bisexual flirt with a lot of confidence. Apparently, I was like a sin. *shrug* Since it wasn't a nickname I gave myself, I can't really say what exactly prompted Ronda to give me it, but she did. And it stuck. So, even though I am no longer single, I am still a flirt and will always be, so it still fits.
Sin, as a concept, is something very subjective. It has very strong religious connotations, and I was raised and confirmed Lutheran. I understand what sin is in Christian dogma, but I am Agnostic. So, to me, the concept of sin isn't the same as it was when I was a child and learning about God and how Jesus died for my sins and if I ask forgiveness, all my sins will be forgiven and I'll be granted a place in Heaven when I die. Sin is different for every person out there. The word is use flippantly quite often (I myself am guilty of that), but sin is more of a moral crime that one does not feel bad or guilty about at the time it is committed. Other people are what really see it as a sin, which is why I say it's subjective. The person who commits the sin could recognize it as one later on when they have time to really think about it and start to feel guilty. One of those 'I shouldn't have done this, but at the time it seemed right' things. Overall, I can't really put a definition on the concept because it means so many different things to so many different people, especially when religion is mixed in.
damned: What can I say about Damned? For starters, I've been a member of Damned for almost three years now and I have six current characters with a seventh planned. Damned was my second LJ-based rpg (the first being Final Heaven - f_h_scenes), and the first that wasn't created by friends. I apped into Damned because katsudon had already apped Renji and some of my other friends were going to app. This is where the almost dead Bleach cast came from and the main reason I apped Momo. The concept behind the game is intriguing and, having been in as long as I have, I've seen it change over the years. It really is kind of like a sine/cosine wave in that it has its moments of being amazingly fun and other moments of it dragging and getting dull. Thankfully, the upswing is never far behind.^^
In anything where there is a large group of people (especially geeks) getting together with a common interest on the internet, there will be wank. There will be cliques. It happens and it is human nature. I will recognize that the wank and cliquishness in Damned is much less than what I have seen in other rpgs, but it still exists and will always exist. I like to think that we're all mature adults and can talk to someone about things that they dislike when it comes to another person/player (when it is presented as feedback designed to improve the situation) as easily as they can talk about how cool a character/cast/fandom/scene is, but sadly that is not the case. There is a level of passive aggressiveness in Damned that bothers me a lot, but I understand it's never going to go away. I am a direct woman that will tell someone if I have an issue/concern/feedback or whatnot when I see it, if I think it will benefit things. Unfortunately, because of that, I expect the same in return and sadly that is not the case. Some people just aren't comfortable with anything that can be seen as confrontation which is why things like the anon memes and rp!secrets exist. I understand this, I do, but I don't have to like it. The best I can do, and do do, is be extremely flexible and open for feedback/communication. Honestly, if I can construe a requested action as IC for my characters, nine times out of ten, I'll adjust what I'm having them do so that we can all have fun. Fun is what this game is about, after all.^^
I think Damned is a good community with some amazing players and good writers. If I didn't enjoy the place, I wouldn't have six characters with a seventh in the works. I have discovered new fandoms, played new video games, and made some really awesome friends because of Damned.
COUCH: Sometimes, my own sense of humor amuses me and I come up with the weirdest shit. Like the couch. Honestly, when Lina said she was hungry and didn't have anything to eat, suggesting she eat the couch... I have no idea where that came from. But it amused me and I ran with it. And then I personified the couch and it became a ridiculous running joke with Lina. And will continue to do so because it amuses me. One that note:
The Couch needs love too.
Kitty-Couch Macro.
Teresa: Just deleted three paragraphs of teel deer. As with most characters I end up picking up, Teresa grabbed me early on into her story and never let go. For being in such a small section of the manga (only 13 chapters, iirc), she probably is the single character with the most impact on the story, save for the main character, and even that can be argued as Teresa is the reason the main character exists as she does (same with the 'main' villain, etc, etc). She was the most powerful Claymore ever created and the hope of the Organization to fulfill the real purpose behind their group, despite being a known problem child from her early years. The youma in Claymore are presented as the evil bad guys, but Teresa always knew that the humans were really the evil ones from the moment she was sold to the Organization as a child.
Still, years of training, indoctrination and the competitive companionship of another powerful Claymore allowed her to forget that and she kept herself very separated from the other Claymores, other people in general. She killed what she was ordered too, had a little fun scaring humans, before she left and enjoyed a self-imposed isolation in the wilderness before the next assignment came around. And that changed when she met a human girl that rekindled human emotions in her - compassion, sadness, and anger. Because of the girl, Teresa was directly faced with the knowledge that humans were by far crueler than youma and she violated the single most important law the Organization had, which lead to her being hunted and killed. Her death came about not because she was physically bested, as Teresa did win the fight between herself and Priscilla (the only one in existence with the capacity to kill her), but because Teresa yielded in compassion. She defeated herself and she accepts that. She is an amazing example of absolute power balanced by control and compassion. Okay, so there was still a lot of teel deer in here.
Badass chicks: 'Badass chicks' as many seem to categorize them, seem to be my preferred character type. Most people have a character type that they naturally gravitate toward. I guess it says something about the person as to why they like playing that type of character and maybe it is even a reflection of the player as well.
Let me clarify. I don't see myself as a badass chick (despite having a sword collection), but I am a strong, direct woman that won't back down from something I believe in. I have an array of emotions and do sometimes doubt myself, but mostly I am a confident woman. I don't like to cry since a part of me sees it as weakness and I don't want to be weak, even if intellectually I recognize that the act of crying does not make me weak, it is just an outlet for emotion when it becomes so intense it threatens to overwhelm. The 'badass chick' mentality is just something I identify with well and there are definitely a variety of characters that fall into that category. I like to think I've chosen my collection of badass chick characters from that variety and they aren't all the same, but maybe they are. But even then, I still enjoy them and that's really what matters.
Sin - as a name and a concept: Sin is the first non-family based nickname I was ever given. I used to be part of this international organization called The Camarilla that was pretty much a geek haven for LARPers that played White Wolf games (Vampire: the Masquerade, Werewolf: the Apocalypse, etc). I used to be extremelly active in this group when I still lived back east, so much that I even held a regional assistant storyteller position for a while. I think it was in 2003/2004 that I was given the nickname Sin by my friend, rowan_anwyl, who I sadly have not talked to in ages.
The nickname stemmed from two places. The first is it's a shortened version of a mispronunciation of my name. My name is Alyson. It is properly pronounced Aal-eh-sun. The mispronunciation is Aal-eh-sin. So, it was cut down to Sin. The second place it stems from is that, at the time, I was single and an equal opportunity flirter. Basically, I was an available bisexual flirt with a lot of confidence. Apparently, I was like a sin. *shrug* Since it wasn't a nickname I gave myself, I can't really say what exactly prompted Ronda to give me it, but she did. And it stuck. So, even though I am no longer single, I am still a flirt and will always be, so it still fits.
Sin, as a concept, is something very subjective. It has very strong religious connotations, and I was raised and confirmed Lutheran. I understand what sin is in Christian dogma, but I am Agnostic. So, to me, the concept of sin isn't the same as it was when I was a child and learning about God and how Jesus died for my sins and if I ask forgiveness, all my sins will be forgiven and I'll be granted a place in Heaven when I die. Sin is different for every person out there. The word is use flippantly quite often (I myself am guilty of that), but sin is more of a moral crime that one does not feel bad or guilty about at the time it is committed. Other people are what really see it as a sin, which is why I say it's subjective. The person who commits the sin could recognize it as one later on when they have time to really think about it and start to feel guilty. One of those 'I shouldn't have done this, but at the time it seemed right' things. Overall, I can't really put a definition on the concept because it means so many different things to so many different people, especially when religion is mixed in.
damned: What can I say about Damned? For starters, I've been a member of Damned for almost three years now and I have six current characters with a seventh planned. Damned was my second LJ-based rpg (the first being Final Heaven - f_h_scenes), and the first that wasn't created by friends. I apped into Damned because katsudon had already apped Renji and some of my other friends were going to app. This is where the almost dead Bleach cast came from and the main reason I apped Momo. The concept behind the game is intriguing and, having been in as long as I have, I've seen it change over the years. It really is kind of like a sine/cosine wave in that it has its moments of being amazingly fun and other moments of it dragging and getting dull. Thankfully, the upswing is never far behind.^^
In anything where there is a large group of people (especially geeks) getting together with a common interest on the internet, there will be wank. There will be cliques. It happens and it is human nature. I will recognize that the wank and cliquishness in Damned is much less than what I have seen in other rpgs, but it still exists and will always exist. I like to think that we're all mature adults and can talk to someone about things that they dislike when it comes to another person/player (when it is presented as feedback designed to improve the situation) as easily as they can talk about how cool a character/cast/fandom/scene is, but sadly that is not the case. There is a level of passive aggressiveness in Damned that bothers me a lot, but I understand it's never going to go away. I am a direct woman that will tell someone if I have an issue/concern/feedback or whatnot when I see it, if I think it will benefit things. Unfortunately, because of that, I expect the same in return and sadly that is not the case. Some people just aren't comfortable with anything that can be seen as confrontation which is why things like the anon memes and rp!secrets exist. I understand this, I do, but I don't have to like it. The best I can do, and do do, is be extremely flexible and open for feedback/communication. Honestly, if I can construe a requested action as IC for my characters, nine times out of ten, I'll adjust what I'm having them do so that we can all have fun. Fun is what this game is about, after all.^^
I think Damned is a good community with some amazing players and good writers. If I didn't enjoy the place, I wouldn't have six characters with a seventh in the works. I have discovered new fandoms, played new video games, and made some really awesome friends because of Damned.