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[video | private] mightstealyrcar February 20 2011, 00:34:48 UTC
[Comfort, closeness. Matt knows those now, smiles as he turns in the bed, aware of J there within arm's reach. His sleep schedule's been shot all to hell since he died. He doesn't mind; his most natural hours to keep make him practically nocturnal.

The dream shifts, and Matt knows what it is to be cold and alone, too, feels the pain he didn't experience himself, not in real life. Too much hurt, too much death to have seen and caused so young, but there's a way past it. It takes a long time, and it all still hurts while you're healing, but those little, everyday moments, they lay a balm over the places that ache, and one day, you don't feel broken anymore.

Matt's not sure he's spoken to the boy who was dreaming all this (the bakery guy, right?), but there's one thing he needs to know, one death he shouldn't carry with him.]

It's not your fault. About Marco. I mean, if that happened, and went down that way. You didn't know.

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Re: [video | private] tenpa_tantrum February 20 2011, 00:55:48 UTC
[It surprises Gau quite a bit, to get a response from a stranger. He knows that he's seen this person around... Matt's been here quite a while. He even knows the name, because it's easy to pick up those things over the network, and he does try to keep up with people.

But somehow they haven't spoken, and he's amazed that someone who didn't know him would bother...

He offers a soft smile, a slight bow.]

Thank you for that.

[He blushes, just a little, because he's not completely sure, but...]

You're Matt-san, right? I appreciate you saying such a thing. I don't - I mean I realize I shouldn't - but... Marco has never quite stop feeling like it's my fault, I think. And it was a bad mistake to make twice.

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[video | private] mightstealyrcar February 20 2011, 02:13:57 UTC
Yeah, that's me. And you're Gau?

[Wait, twice?]

Well, he forgave you enough to marry you, right?

[Oops, that might have been a case of Matt's mouth being ahead of his brain.]

I mean, um. Those things're scary as hell even if you know what they are.

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Re: [video | private] tenpa_tantrum February 20 2011, 03:40:06 UTC
Mmhmm, I'm Gau! I didn't think that many people... well, no, I suppose I have been pretty visible lately, with starting a business and such, haven't I?

[Gau pauses, smiles a little.]

Are you a friend of Marco's? I mean, I suppose that he must have forgiven me, but sometimes it seems like we're still a little...

[Okay, things just aren't as easy with Marco as with Ginko. But it must be all right.]

And yeah... it was terrifying... and I was already injured then, so I really didn't have any way of knowing. But after seeing his polar bear morph, I think he feels I should have assumed any random animal was him...

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[video | private] mightstealyrcar February 20 2011, 06:16:33 UTC
Yeah, we're buddies. And that sounds like something he'd say, heh.

[It's not like there are a lot of polar bears running around Kannagara, not that Matt's seen, though at this point? Almost nothing would surprise him.

He wonders how many memories this... curse or whatever it is has supplied for people. Does it just work off what they already know about each other? Not exactly something he can ask, when they have no way of knowing which memories got overwritten.]

It's hard to be antisocial here. [Matt's used to showing his face by now, but sometimes it still feels weird.] Believe me, I've tried.

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Re: [video | private] tenpa_tantrum February 20 2011, 15:26:07 UTC
It can be pretty difficult. Though...

[And Gau has to stop to think about this one, for a moment. Because the fact that there are locals now has made it easier and harder, he thinks.]

I think it was even harder to be antisocial before the others were here. Just because you had to ask people for things you needed, or try to find them in trade. At least now there are markets.

[But on the other hand...]

Though I suppose the opposition to us could be forcing a lot of those who wouldn't otherwise talk to each other do so, as well.

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[video | private] mightstealyrcar February 21 2011, 02:49:01 UTC
Oh, wow, you were here before the locals showed up?

[Mello and Marco are the only people Matt knows for sure have been here that long. He's gotta wonder why the gods would populate the world after the fact. His leading theory is that they launched their product while it was still in beta, which seems to back up his feeling that they're not gods at all, just bored jerks with powers.

At least they made it easier for him to get cigarettes, right?

Gau's definitely right about that. Matt already liked Rin and Allen, but working with them is totally making him stay in touch more than he otherwise would.]

Bonding through mutual persecution? It works, but it doesn't seem very god-like to me.

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Re: [video | private] tenpa_tantrum February 21 2011, 21:10:08 UTC
Yeah, I was here before that. Based on the way time runs here I've been here several months, but from my calculations involving how that relates to real time, it's been close to a year.

[Of course, there is some margin of error there, but they have been working out how it corresponds to time in his world. So much so that he's pretty sure his birthday is coming up soon.

Except that's confusing, a little, because his last birthday had been... right after... no, he'd come into a different time of year here than at home, that was all.]

I don't know. I mean, I don't see why it wouldn't seem god-like. The gods are pretty petty, at times, some of them.

[Not his goddess, of course.]

And sometimes they have conflicting goals, too.

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[video | private] mightstealyrcar February 22 2011, 05:11:26 UTC
The days seem too long, so I think our perceptions are right, and the world just doesn't, like, turn as fast as it ought to, or something.

[He hopes that made sense. Long days, short seasons, probably a physicist's nightmare.]

Anyway, yeah, I think there's two factions of gods here. One wants to help us, but they're not very good at it. The other's just creepy. None of them seem to really get humans.

I never really believed in god, or the gods, whichever. But for some of the people I've talked to, they sound more literally real than they were in my world.

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Re: [video | private] tenpa_tantrum February 22 2011, 16:00:54 UTC
Well, I might be the wrong... or the right... person to talk to about gods, depending on how you look at it.

[Gau blushes, smiles a little, and then drops his hand out of sight for a second. Then he holds up a tiny higanbana flower charm in front of the screen for Matt to see.]

A goddess gave me this. Literally. And well... if you ever meet me in person, I'll show you what else she gave me. It doesn't work over the network.

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[video | private] mightstealyrcar February 23 2011, 03:40:53 UTC
[Behind the goggles, Matt raises an eyebrow.]

Here, or in your world?

[Either way is interesting, but if it were here, it would open up a lot of questions. Matt has wondered if the gods of Kannagara ever show themselves in person. Over the network, anything can be faked, right?]

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Re: [video | private] tenpa_tantrum February 23 2011, 22:49:19 UTC
Here.

[Gau smiles brightly, more than glad to talk about his goddess, any time.]

Konohanasakuya-hime has blessed me. It happened after I died here, but she has spoken to me again since that time, as well.

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[video | private] mightstealyrcar February 24 2011, 03:47:53 UTC
I've died here, too.

[And he's still not sure if what happened after was an impossible hallucination, a bad dream when he shouldn't have been dreaming at all, or what.]

What'd she say? If it's not too personal.

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Re: [video | private] tenpa_tantrum February 24 2011, 21:43:17 UTC
To grow up, mostly.

[He chuckles, softly, reaches up to run fingers through his hair.]

That I needed to learn to see past the end of my nose, to put things into action that I am capable of rather than striving for the things I'm not suited to, and to get my temper under control.

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[video | private] mightstealyrcar February 25 2011, 02:06:15 UTC
Heh. I think that's decent advice for most people.

[Temper's never really been Matt's problem, though. If anything, he hasn't been able to get pissed about the things he ought to. Not until here. And it's funny, given how... almost serene Gau strikes him as, to hear the kid say that.]

Guess you took it to heart, huh?

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Re: [video | private] tenpa_tantrum February 25 2011, 03:03:02 UTC
Well, I still fuck it up now and then...

[There's an image of himself throwing a futon at Raikou... but strangely, he can't remember now what the argument had been about. Or why he would have been throwing a futon at his partner.

Weird.

Well, he supposes it wasn't that important.

There's a confused look on his face for a second though, as he contemplates it.]

I really was pretty terrible, for a while there. So I'm glad that I'm doing better, and the goddess made it so I can help others with that too, as long as I keep myself on an even keel. So it's a good thing, I think.

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