I have NEVER in all my life been asked out by so many men. All I had to do was put myself out there, meet new people and walla, they are asking me out left and right... this is weird. I'v been so down on myself thinking i'd never meet anyone. I don't really even have to try though. I went out with one man, whom I truly like. but he is NOT looking ( Read more... )

Living on my own. Im learning that I am okay being alone. In fact I am better then okay, its refreshing. But two of the kids will be living with me around the 24th to go to school here. Kevin is nicer to me and oddly more affectionate now that we are apart.

THats all for now I guess.

I started this as an email to my soon to be ex-husband... then I realized I couldn't say some of this to him, so I will journal it instead and hope that that is enough to keep me happy ( Read more... )

I can never quite forget him. Maybe I don't want to. Maybe he was THE ONE. maybe all this time with out him has been a waste. I defiantly need to feel something more then what I do now. ever time I set my eyes on him Id get butterflies. My heart would skip a beat and I knew, I just knew he was the one. But I fucked all that up. And even now 17 ( Read more... )

being sober is cool

This is how it feels to be lifeless. I am buried in dred, feeling like the weight of the world lays on my shoulders. The fight to get out of my bed is a tough one. To want to get up and face the world which by the way consists of very little in my world. This is the portion of my illness that I hate the most. Waiting for every day to pass and ( Read more... )

Today is 71 days. That sounds like a lot to me ( Read more... )

Alright, well I finally gave in when my life had become unmanageable. Only took a few..many years. But I survived and am ready to start living again. I had no idea how bad my life had become. something about loosing everything in my life helped to wake my drugged ass up. Hazelden is amazing, I highly recommend it to ANYONE in need of help. I am ( Read more... )

I dont know if I will get any responses here, but I have to try ( Read more... )

I got nosy, found out my husband has been talking to my "friend" whom has decided that my illness is not getting any better because of our friendship, as well as her own mental illness is/was being damaged by our friendship. Behind my back she talks to kevin about me. NICE! It's not like she is some professional that understands the way my brain ( Read more... )