I so can't belive he saw Wicked. Makes sense the being blown off though. It's his prime time. Who am i to care? I swear. 1 step forward 2 steps back. 2 steps forward 3 steps back. Whatever. I'm no better myself. I can't even get my act together.

So one day the time shall pass and the destiny to be fulfilled will be told. I hope it involves only one specific element. The rest won't matter as long as my Tanaka is with me.

I'm at a basketball game playing in the pep band and that was all i could think about so there it is. Holler

I need a time machine to go forward approximately 2.5 years. Just to be passed this. And 25:-). lol anyway. That's a whole different story in itself. I was happy to be back in school and working, but daaaang is it killing me. I don't even have time to pee. Tuesday and thursdays are the worst with class from 8-5 and then work 5:30-10. I mean whoa. ( Read more... )

I wonder when it will become easier. It's like no matter what I do to get my life on track things seem to get harder and harder. Let me cut straight to the chase. I get back from basic training and within 2 days my life is returning to disaray. My apartment is wrecked. I mean unclean just from tidying up. Then add my room which has been hurricand ( Read more... )

I dunno. I used to be hard corps about training and getting ready for baisc. I havent ran in a week and simply don't feel like it. lol. Oh well. I'm in shape regardless so fuck it. I don't wanna go!! only 5 days left. I'm in a wierd land between heartbreak and anxiety. I wish I had some control over whats going on inside my body. I like the feeling ( Read more... )

So home is a less hard to be around this time. I guess it's because I'm only here for a few days. However... It's 6 days till basic training and I miss my baby. My stomach has been in my throat since I walked away at 7:30pm three days ago. A pillow just doesn't suffice at night. More so the lack of his smiling face in the morning. ::sigh:: I turned ( Read more... )

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?... It's a brief, bitter~sweet return back to "reality." Lifes have changed people have come and gone. Things just aren't the same in good ole Lebanon, TN. The question is, or are they? Funny how time away in an activity such as drum corps opens your eyes to who you really are and leave room for what ( Read more... )

"Blue... Songs are like tatoos." "...Hey blue, there is a song for you. Ink on a pen. Underneath the skin, An empty space to fill in." "Lot's of Laughs. Lot's of Laughs." "There is a your song from me. Yeah it may be love. I don't know but it's becoming a tangled sort of love. Music and drum corps is funny. Funny funny funny funny funny. I love you ( Read more... )

YAY!! I made it official with the rents just a few minutes ago. I'm staying at a friends house tonight. They think it's to watch Idol and a late movie. no it's to watch idol and get tipsy. O:-P I was getting mad at Jon again yesterday. It was his fault, but still the distance is making him an easy target to get mad at. The funny thing is he blew ( Read more... )

My mood is slowly changing. My "I don't give a fuck" attitude that I left in TN is coming back. It's really bad too, as it has caused me to make some snap harsh comments to my best friend. Things that I never would have said in the way that I did regardless of if meant them. I had started to get over my homesickness. The sick feeling I got ( Read more... )