paused. and only you can push play.

this is not what i need right now. telling me what i should do is not being there for me. being here for me is what i need right now.

without worries, in your arms.

being here with me is what i need right now.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it."

maybe i'll elaborate on my thoughts when it is not 4 in the morning. goodnight.

i have more than plenty to do, but i can't focus. i'm sitting, waiting, wishing. i know it seems like i can't stop screwing up. i know. i know. i know what you mean to me- everything and so much more. i know exactly what i want- you and nothing else. i know i have it and i don't want to lose it. but this debate, this questioning, this... sigh. i ( Read more... )

work school work school. it seems like that is all i am doing these days. school or work. i am extremely envious of those who can go out 4/7 nights and not worry about school. i never had the "work never ends but college does, so fuck working" attitude. sometimes i wish i did. i debate about quitting my job for several reasons but i just hate ( Read more... )

a couple quick things...

i miss summer
school work is already a shitload
the limited at woodland sucks
i love adam trahan

[[my update]]it's late and i'm up as usual. august has finally come and i can't believe it. i've been cut down from working which is good for me but bad for my bank account. i am super excited to be living in c.west but i'm quite sad a6 will change. new school year with better memories right? [[hopefully!]] i will be moving in a few days early but ( Read more... )

he said, "if you can't tell her age, look at her hands." i laughed at his comment and thought i'd be a 40 year-old man. growing up, these insecurities were not easy to hide. there were only so many hoodie pockets and days in the winter for mittens that these hands could hide in. but as i looked at my hands i saw what he meant, and much more. what ( Read more... )

for the past week, i have been in a hate-myself-mood. i have been working a lot, spending time with the girls when i can, and just being pissed at myself for everything. i just came back from a vacation and i am more stressed at myself than i should be. well vacation was not exactly relaxing because it means dealing with my family, and that means ( Read more... )

overall i had a decent time with the family in seattle/vancouver. of course there were moments i wanted to push them into the ocean, but i didn't so that's good. we mainly stayed in the international district (asian area) in seattle and chinatown in vancouver. big friggin' surprise, i know. this meant a lot of eating and shopping at asian groceries ( Read more... )

i absolutely hate missing out on things. things meaning something as simple as the vs semi-annual sale, to the more involved activities. doing so and then hearing about everything can put me in the worst of moods. not always, but most of the time. sigh. i keep having these weird dreams and i wonder what they mean. i hate not being able to remember ( Read more... )